ok people talk so much about how much "work" marriage is. i've heard lots of times people go into a divorce pretty sure its the "right" thing to do. despite it being "right" so many people still wonder if there was something that could've been done to prevent the divorce. could they have tried harder? i can understand if there is physical abuse and things like that. adultry is tricky because some people just cant get over that even from a boyfriend or girlfriend much less if it was from a spouse. i think this is geared more towards to the,"i'm tired of arguing" or "he being mean to me" so they file for divorce under irreconcilable differences. is that being a cop out? should they suck it up and make it work?
2007-12-08 10:15:24 · 5 answers · asked by cuffem916 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not a cop out if counseling was tried and it didn't work. In one case I answered here, the wife was going to counseling and he was not, and he was abusive as well so that then becomes not a cop out but a wise decision. Saving a marriage might be compared to climbing a mountain; it is beautiful if you make it to the top but if you try too many times and slip back each time, it is better to realize that you can't make it there and find somewhere else to climb.
2007-12-08 10:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wasn't physically abused during my marriage. I was emotionally abused. He was always making cracks about how hot this chick was etc. He was belittling me in front of friends and family. He was alcoholic, unemployed gambler. Not the whole marriage, otherwise I wouldn't have married him in the first place, but he was all that by the time I left. I had gone from a healthy weight to being so skinny, that clothes would just hang, bones were jutting out, and my hair was falling out by the handful in the shower every day. Now to me it wasn't a cop out but a cry for happiness and health. I know for some people sure it can be a cop out but you can't know about what goes through people's minds or lives at the times that they file for divorce. It is a very tricky and emotional time for the parties involved. I am sorry, I am not trying to preach just state some of the things that happened to me, and make people see that maybe there are some things that aren't workable!
2007-12-08 15:43:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that marriage is working together, but not hard work. When you grew up you lived in a family with a brother or sister and such and you did not always get along, you did not always agree on things, but you loved them. I think the main problem is people want someone else to 'fix' their life and they expect way too much of marriage. It is going through life together in the good and bad times and people won't take responsibility for their own actions; it is easier to blame someone else and run away than to deal with the truth about their own selves. No one should feel obligated to stay married; it is a choice, but they shouldn't enter marriage thinking it is some fairy tale life. It is just life - the good and bad - the sweet and sour but when you mix it with humor, concern, care and love of someone else, it can be a wonderful relationship.
2007-12-08 17:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Though there are times people file for divorce because they are mad. But most cases, they file because one party just gave up and didn't want to try anymore. Marriage takes two. There is nothing you can do if your spouse just does not want to try anymore.
2007-12-08 10:22:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whenever you have to "work" at it you aren't in love. When you are in love you don't have to "work" at anything you want to make each other happy. If you are ever in a loving relationship again don't ever make the mistake of getting married and ruining it. Happy Holidays!!!
2007-12-08 10:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋