My sister and I were taking off our shoes. She kicked hers and hit my foot. I said "ouch!" but not yelling, just reacting to a shoe hitting my foot. She started yelling at me, "I didn't do it on purpose! It was an accident!" &c. As if I did something wrong! This is the best example, but she does it other times in other situations, too.
Why does she do this?
2007-12-08 08:44:50 · 5 answers · asked by epitome of innocence 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She is using the idea that "The best defense is a good offense." If she yells at you, protesting her innocence, that does not allow you to complain to her and accuse her of doing it on purpose. She must think you are going to accuse her of hurting you on purpose. Perhaps you know more about why she might think that.
Or, maybe she resents you for some reason, and by hitting you with her shoe out of carelessness, i.e., not caring if she hits you, she is expressing her hostility unconsciously and then denying it, by "protesting too much."
Do these ideas make sense to you? They are possibilities to think about.
2007-12-08 08:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by Pat K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that Pat K's "Or" section has it--angry and resentful, she does hurtful things under the cover of "It was just an accident!" And THEN gets angry because you are so "sensitive"!! I lived 8 yrs in a marriage just like that and there is NO WAY to WIN! There is no way for you to prevent such "misunderstandings" as she has to provoke you to try to get into an angry exchange and then feel misunderstood! She can then go off on a pout; act-out, etc. She may feel that you are your mother's or father's favorite and takes it out on you. When you're out of the home, she will have to marry someone she can play the same game--or with her own children-to-be--poor things. Just make sure that YOU don't have to go on with "The Game" and marry somebody who does the same thing!
2007-12-08 09:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oldest drama queen tactic in the book, cry louder.
She might as well blamed you for sitting to close to her while she was taking her shoe off.
Next time she does something like that, give her a dollar and I bet she shuts up.
But really, she has issues for taking blame, and it just manifested itself in a situation where nobody gives a d*** about who's fault it was. Don't accuse her of being sensitive, it will come across as a threat.
2007-12-08 09:02:14 · answer #3 · answered by Essence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has anger issues or control , could just be a sister thing .it is a difficult age and we go thru many emotions
2007-12-08 08:57:20 · answer #4 · answered by Psychologist In The House 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
over done defensiveness.
2007-12-08 09:03:48 · answer #5 · answered by paris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋