My mother(divorced) and sister ( soon to be divorced) wants me to get out NOW. Not because of what I have said cuz I tend to defend my husband but because of the way he has been acting.
2007-12-08 06:16:46 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He thinks that the house and kids are MY job even though I am SUPPOSED to be on bed rest.
He is "trying" to get me my own way of going but it never comes through.
He gets frustrated if I don't do EVERYTHING he thinks I should that day even if it isn't my fault.
He never yells or anything and he never seems to get "angry" but he pouts and gets really withdrawn and he acts like mister innocent.
Yesterday I didn't get the errands done because my mother didn't bring me her car like she was supposed to and he made me feel really bad telling me that he "didn't appreciate" me not doing the things I said I would do. It was nothing I had control over.
Just things like that.
2007-12-08 06:25:10 · update #1
Take a moment to consider these questions. Your partner might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:
Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?
Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?
Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?
Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?
Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?
Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?
Have you ever felt obligated to have sex, just to avoid an argument about it?
Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?
Has your partner ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?
Are you afraid of your partner?
2007-12-08 06:20:38 · answer #1 · answered by ~mobabe~ 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Is it you that is being emotionally abused? I don't get it? You have not listed any examples so how can one person on here tell you the answer? You mention only you defend your husband and he is acting a certain way...ok acting how? How is he acting? I have no clue what you are going through because you have not told listed any examples...obviously your mom and sister are concerned enough that they have told you to get out NOW...my experience has shown that others tend to see situations better then we do...your family loves you so much and don't want you to get hurt by anyone or anything...I'd listen to the two woman who love you more than anything in the world...Good luck...
2007-12-08 06:27:51 · answer #2 · answered by DWInSTL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she may defend her husband even when its obvious that he is in the wrong, she may be intimidated or frightened when is due to come around, she may hold her head down, be very self conscience. Cry a lot or hold up a tough guy act when she's really scared inside. Whatever the situation is, if the wife is emotionally upset and has a bad relationship its best to get out asap. You only have one life to live, live it the best way possible.
2007-12-08 06:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by Samantha1029 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would trust your mom and sisters opinions/ insticntcs enough to at least stop and evaluate and monitor the situation . ask a professional counselor / preist for advice. seek marriage counseling . church offers an excellent program ... several weeks in couples and independent . the course is called MARRIAGE MATTERS. it covers communication, how to finance and manage your money so there is not a stress of finances , sex, children and parenting styles , how you communicate . i would not don't trust your freinds. speak to a professional if you talk to someone. if your husband has been acting bad / treaeting you bad and you are defending him / it might be that your judgement is a little off / you are desperate to save a marriage. this may or may not work . the price for having the marriage might be too great if you lose yourself or if your kids are seeing this. emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse. your bruises / broken bones just don't show / aren't visible to the public. they are inside and internal to an emotionally abused woman or man and always visible . kind of interesting is your notation of the marital status of your mom and sister . do you really think they hate you enough to wish you were divorced ? i don't think that sounds right ?? i'd try to get into a counseling sessions or marriage matters class together. don't tell him the marriage is bad / or you think you are emotionally abused ... say it is to enhance the marriage . try to salvage your marriage and work on his behaviors . if you can'/t salvage it / then work on your exit plan.
2007-12-08 06:28:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mildred S 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An emotionally abused wife normally agrees to everything her husband says. He tells her to change her dress style and she does it, normally a husband who is an abuser is a control freak, who doesn't wants his wife to be noticed by other men, he doesn't want her to have friends or contact with her family. Even work can pose a problem for him. If you have gone from a lively, bubbly person to an introvert your mother and sister will notice. It isn't always the case that an emotional abuser becomes physically violent but it can, and does happen your family are obviously worried about you. Good luck.
2007-12-08 06:22:15 · answer #5 · answered by translatorinspain 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
how has he been acting?
low self-esteem is the main thing, doesn't mean he doesn't like you.. he just takes you down to nothing and makes you what he wants you to be just because he is so afraid of losing you.
an example would be:
a gorgeous, skinny woman that is told constantly by her husband shes fat and needs to lose weight, or that shes really ugly and should die when they get in fights or even when shes eating a banana or something he flips out and says shes too fat already.
it takes your self confidence down to nothing, and makes you into something that you don't even know you have turned into.
if he is scared of you leaving the house without him, going to work, hanging out with friends, calls, texts, will go out with his friends but doesn't let you leave.. that kind of thing.. its emotional abuse. and if hes the kind of emotional abuser that most people are.. he will make it so you think that you need him. he will make it seem like if you leave him you will be nothing, and have nothing.
he will lie and tell you that nobody called if your friends or maybe even family called just so that you cannot talk. you wont have an email or if you do, he will check it.
that kind of thing.. basically you will be like a lost puppy, living life only the way he wants you to. you wont remember who you are, anymore.
good luckk,
and maybe you should try
listening to your family..
2007-12-08 06:31:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a marriage & family class now and we discussed the types of abuse. Ask yourself these questions?
do you often doubt your judgement or wonder if you're "Crazy"?
are you often afraid of your partner & do you express your opinions less & less freely?
Have you developed fears of other ppl and do you see others less and less often?
do you spend a lot of time watching for his bad and not so bad moods before bringing up a subject?
do you ask his permission to spend money? take classes or socialize with friends & have fears of doing the wrong thing or getting him angry?
have you lost confidence in your abilities, become increasingly depressed & feel trapped and powerless?
Is he manipulative? does he not take you seriously? does he get jealous easily?
If you're answering yes to these questions, there's a good chance he's abusing you. I've been in emotionally abusive relationships before and it's so easy to blur the line between supporting your man & letting him control you.
2007-12-08 06:25:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One good sign of emotional abuse is that the wife is no longer capable of knowing whether or not she's being abused. Her self-respect has been trashed to the point where she needs to ask total strangers about whether or not she has a problem.
2007-12-08 06:20:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
The signs? Low self esteem. Seem to be scared of their husband even though there's no way he is around. Low confidence. Little to no contact with relatives...
2007-12-08 06:19:57 · answer #9 · answered by cool_jivin 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If you feel worse most of the time after talking to your husband.
If you feel like you're being put down while talking to him.
If it feels more like arguments than conversations.
If you feel like your husband wouldn't defend you because he doesn't stand by your convictions
2007-12-08 06:21:31 · answer #10 · answered by Doubledown 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋