how do I tell my boyfriend I don't want to move in with him?

Question

I love him alot but want to wait until im engaged or married to move in with a man. I'm in my mid-20s and know that this is a man I could be with forever. How do I let him down gently with out him thinking I'm not into him?

Anyone been in this situation?

Answer 1

Tell him you "want to wait until im engaged or married to move in with a man."

Answer 2

Tell him all the statistics that you have read show that it would be you that is at the disadvantage. When you move in with someone it is just like he has made a serious commitment to you - (marriage). He gets his cake and eats it too! You naturally do everything a woman is supposed to do - (cooking, cleaning, sex, nurturing, laundry, etc.) in a marriage. What isn't there is the commitment (marriage). When there is no commitment it is too easy to leave and or take advantage of you! Don't do it!!! You also lose a lot of respect- especially from his side of the family! I know this is not fair - but unfortunately it is true!

Answer 3

Be honest. Just tell him that you love him and respect him but you do not think living together is the answer. Tell him that you want to be engaged or married before you live with a man. I told that to my husband way back when but then I changed my mind and moved. I am glad that I did.

Answer 4

I don't really understand.

If you love him enough that you think you could be with him forever, why would you not want to move in together to see how it works out?

Marriage is not about a band of gold, a diamond, or even a wedding day. Marriage is about whether two people can live together in harmony for the rest of their lives. The great thing about living together is you can find all that out without spending large amounts of money on rings and weddings.

It would be like taking a one month test drive of a new car before buying it.

So if you love him, and think the relationship has a future, it seems foolish, not to take it to the next level and see how it goes. I'd tell him that if you live together for a year, and still love each other, then you want an engagement ring. If it doesn't work out, move out, and you've saved yourself from a marriage that wouldn't have worked out anyway.

Answer 5

No way around it, tell him what you just told millions around the world. " I want to wait until I am engaged or married to move in with a man"

Answer 6

I was in this position once, I think just telling him straight, just say I am really into you, and would love to be with him, but you would like to wait until you both make a official comittment to eachother, if he is a control freak he may push you away like my ex did, and make you feel guilty about it, my advise if he does this, is move on, he isnt any good for you. If he loves and respects you he will wait and will have comitment in mind in future.

Answer 7

Sometimes moving in is a way for most couples (men especially) to see what it would be like to be married. He may already think you're the one but wants to test drive!

Let him know how you feel your morals etc. Then ask him why he would like to move in? Maybe you can compromise. Say weekends at your apartment or his. Try it out.

Good luck/.

Answer 8

Yes I was in this situation. The girl told me that she could never live with me, until marriage. She explained it was how she was raised and it was not a reflection on how she felt about me.

BTW she did wind up moving in with me. But it was about 2 years later and after we got married. Still living with me 19 years later.

Answer 9

Talk to him and say you don't want to move in until you're engaged or married, and you still want to date him but are not ready for the next step yet.

Answer 10

Just tell him exactly how you feel, and if he loves you like you love him he will completely understand. If not, then this is not the man you are meant to be with forever.