Would you marry a man who made less money than you?

Question

I am a prospective attorney with a starting salary of $80,000 and possibly more.
I've worked incredibly hard to get where I am, but I did have help. I come from a good family that put me through a private high school and top college and law school.
I do care very highly for a man's character and health, but I honestly don't think I'd be able to marry a man with lesser status. I want my kids to have the same advantages that I had and more.
I'm moderately attractive but really kind and bright and dress well. So I guess it over powers my 7/10 or 6/10 status.

Does anyone agree or disagree with me? Am I now all of a sudden a "gold-digging witch?"

Trust me: separate bank accounts and the like!
But guess what, I know from my parent's experience, that money is important to have similar views on money/spending/etc. Love can fade because of financial stress.

Do you honestly think an attorney could ever marry a construction worker???
I've never ever seen that!
If he were a teacher or a professor, that signified intelligence which is just fine. However, men who call me mean names for wanting a man of ambition, drive, and intelligence, need to be realistic. An odd pairing is unrealistic. Sure he may have good qualities, but I will always be on his back about getting more education or advancing himself. In today's economy, this is reality.

Answer 1

I completely agree with your concerns regarding being able to provide your children with a top notch education with all and even more of the advantages that you've had.

I believe the values you are describing are very typical of eastern cultures, and are seen as practical. I'm guessing that one of the reasons for the large proportion of negative responses is that ppl may feel hurt imagining themselves to be on the receiving end of rejection (for having a lesser "status" in somebody's eyes.) It does also sound quite selfish.

Also, I do believe we should try to move away from the idea of equating status with money...perhaps potential should be much more of a deciding factor.

As a man, I can say this: I hope a women who makes more than me would NOT use that fact to completely eliminate me as a potential partner. Look at my potential for success in many things in life: making money, raising a family, offering her fullfillment/contentment, contributing to society.

I don't think you're a gold-digger. Nor a snob. Just very practical. Maybe too practical.

Answer 2

Look the question you should be asking is, Is there a man out there who can be comfortable with a woman making more money than him. I dont' mind at all I am in the military and don't make much but it is enough to pay the bills. My wife has a good job making close to 60,000 a year wich is about 20 more than me and i don't mind at all. I dont feel like she supports me but some people see it that way. If you can't handle to me it is more of an insecurity in yourself. If you think your kids will have less advantages or be a lower class in society than you should just find someone that is more to your high standard. Not trying to sound rude but maybe you can lower your chin long enough to look down past your nose and see that just because people aren't rich doesn't mean they don't enjoy life to the fullest. My two children love life and get everything they ask for. Love, a home to live in, food to eat, and two parents that love eachother. Have a nice day.

Answer 3

I think it's a matter of perspective. I certainly wouldn't marry a guy...er..well whatever...

I think looking at status is important in regards to self-confidence. A person who is willing to take a crap lifestyle means they are willing to take crap. It's kind of odd...

Although it's not wrong to want someone to "greater" status, I wouldn't necesarily rule out someone who happens to make less money. What do they do? Does his position speak of a higher order? Is he a teacher? maybe he has the potential to be greater and hasn't had the lucky break yet? What if he's a co-worker and you just happen to impress the bosses slightly more? There are so many factors that placing a monetary value on it doesn't put things into perspective.

I can tell you, however, as a man that married a woman with no drive or ambition it is a bit of a point of contention for us and I think that looking for a quality person is ALWAYS a good thing.

Answer 4

I wouldn't say you are a gold digging witch but you do sound like a very superficial person. I mean come on, marry a man with "lesser status"? Basically that makes you sound like a pompous ***, no matter how much money or education you have. I sure wouldn't want to be bothered with you, even as a friend. Hope he finds out what you're really like before it's too late.

Answer 5

I make more money than my husband and it does not bother either of us. It is our money so it does not matter. Thinking that a man has a lesser status because of his income is out dated and snobby. There is nothing wrong with wanting to give your kids what you had and more but no one is beneath you because they make less money. You are right that a lot of marriages break up over money. You need to have the same concept and spending habits but not the same income. If you only date men that make more than you do you just might pass up Mr. Right and not even know it. Do not be so shallow minded. I would not call you a gold digger but I would call you a snob. I would rather have a gold digger.

Answer 6

It is all up to individual way of thinking...what they are looking for and what they want in man that they are going to share their life with.
Not all a woman that married to a higher income than them are more happier than the woman that married to a lower income than them.
Money alone cannot buy the happiness in a person's life but it surely needed and will help you in many things.
There is nothing wrong if you want a man that earn more than you.
But for me, character & attitude of a man is no.1, his earning is come no.2....he can be earning less than me but if he has all the qualities of a man that i am looking for i will marry him.

Answer 7

OMG! Historically men have always made more money than women have. Did that ever stop them from marrying a woman who made less??? Uh, no!!! So why should it be any different when the genders are reversed???

I am not a feminist, but it ills me how women have this kind of selfish thinking!!!

How would it feel if a man thought of you that way?

Answer 8

well that depends on the guy. some guys might find it intimidating that his partner makes more money than him because its "the man" who supports his family. however, some don't really care if his woman makes more just as long as he can work and help out. i would marry a man regardless of his status. if you love someone, you look beyond the physical aspect, and just accept them for who they are. perhaps they are happy at their current job and can pursue a higher pay job, but don't want to. however, you have to get to know the person first to find out. there are some male gold diggers out there, but for the most part, most aren't like that.

Answer 9

What matter is his personality, love, care, kindness, career oriented, Know that its not everyone bless as you are and if you can talk to your man, know his ambition/career, step up due to your loving heart, help him perhaps starting a business, he will earn even more than what he is earning. Do not let money incomes divides you. Remember we have brains to make our choices, work things to our favor even if how doomed they may seem to be, solve the impossibilities, love, care, be generous, kindness and all will come your way

Answer 10

I'm getting married in April to the man of my dreams.
I make more money than him.