All my family lives in texas and my husband had us (me and our son) move to virginia(where we have no family or friends) we have been here for 2 years (we are going to have anouther boy in 4 weeks, and now my sister (who is my best friend) says she might move up here to live(with her 9 yr son) but she would live with us and we are barly making it. but i miss her so much !!!
but my husband says its wrong to push her to leave my other sister(her twin) and other family just to be with us. that if i giult her into it and she's not happy she will hold it aginst me. but im having a baby none of my family will meet . i havent seen them in 2 years (no money to visit)
I think the jobs are better for her here and i stay home with my kids so i can watch her boy (wich i have helped raise) too.
Is it wrong to try to move her up here?
2007-12-08 05:05:21 · 7 answers · asked by jessica l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No it's not wrong. That's very sweet actually that you have thought ahead about how you and your sister can help eachother out. The thing is though, as a wife, you do have the obligation to hear your husband's side out too...but I am feeling that he doesn't understand - or even know - all these positives that you've just posted here. Try to bring it up with him again and be sure to say it like you wrote it here - because it sounds like a very win-win situation :-)
Congrats on baby boy #2!
2007-12-08 05:15:55 · answer #1 · answered by Dana C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be wrong if you talk her into it, just because you want someone around you.
But it sounds like she was thinking about it first, and it's not wrong to be happy about the prospect of having your sister near you. Just don't try to coerce or manipulate her into coming.
And I would keep the big family unit in the house thing to a minimum. She could stay there until she could afford a place for her and your nephew. I have two sisters, and they are my best friends. But if any one of us moved in with another, making a family of four plus a mom and child, it would get ugly in a short period of time.
Keep in mind, you want to make sure the "plans" you are making are realistic. It would not be like an extended visit. It would be you and your family, her and her son all under the same roof, having to deal with things like cleaning, music, rules, noise, etc.
And there's something that needs to be mentioned, too. Your loyalties are to your husband and your children. Love your sister and nephew to bits, but if your husband is opposed to this arrangement, you need to take notice.
I totally understand where you're coming from. My whole family is in Texas (we are, too, now, in the same town as everyone else), but when one of my sons was born, we lived in Tennessee, away from my whole family. I know the apprehension you can feel when you're in that situation. Just make sure that you aren't acting solely out of homesickness or loneliness. And it will be a huge change for her and her son, so make sure it's HER decision to move, not just that you talked her into it.
Good luck! For your sake, I hope it all works out and she can come. I know it's gotta bother you, because it drove me insane.
2007-12-08 13:34:30 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't guilt her about it. It should be her choice.
Sounds like you need to get out and meet other parents with young kids. Start having your husband invite some co-workers that have young kids over for dinner. Try to strike up conversations at the local playground. Find a church that has a strong childrens program and check it out...
Its not wrong for you to want your sister near you but it is wrong for you to PRESSURE her to move in with you.
2007-12-08 13:13:06 · answer #3 · answered by Dawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, been there, done that!! Its very hard for "other people" to live in our homes! Everyone has their way of doing things, living styles & you'll begin to resent the arrangement after just a short time!! Guests & fish all must leave after 3 days!! There's 3 sides to this story and I see them all, but be careful!! You guys must put yourselves 1st!!
2007-12-08 13:12:23 · answer #4 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is your sister and if that is what she wants to do then tell her to come on out....I am the middle of 3, all girls.....my sisters are the world to me and if one wanted to come and stay with me and my 3 kids and hubby I would more than happy to let them....family is always good to have around, well sometimes, ya know what i mean...
2007-12-08 13:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by 1 UnIqUe InDiViDuAl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well really ultimately, its her decision whether she moves up there or not. If she decides to move up there then thats the choice she decided to make; She is an adult for pete's sake.
2007-12-08 13:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by Brittney 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can try it- maybe it will work out-charge her a reasonable rent and babysitting fee .
2007-12-08 13:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋