My husband and I are deploying to Iraq in six days. So he wanted to go to a bachelor party tonight with one of our friends who we won't see for a year or so. Our friend said there would be beer pong at the barracks on base for this guy's bachelor party (three hours from where we live). Our friend who my husband wants to spend time with is getting married in two weeks. The last words out of his mouth when they left to make the trip this morning was "Come on! Let's get on the road so I can get back and get laid!" There is a new girl in his company who he's been cheating on his fiance with. His fiance is also our friend. She lives over nine hours away, and has no idea what he's doing with this other girl. After he metioned sleeping with this other chick, he mentioned how they were going to the strip club tonight. My husband knows that I see porn and strip clubs as disrespectful to me and all women. I have made my point very clear from the beginning...
2007-12-08 04:42:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I thought our friend that my husband is going with to this bachelor party was a respectful guy. I never would have thought he would have cheated on his fiance. And now my husband is around his bad influences of cheating (and enjoying it) and going to the strip club to watch other naked women bounce around while I sit at home. I guess I just want to know how others would feel in this situation. I'm pretty upset right now.
2007-12-08 04:45:38 · update #1
it is pretty accurate what your feeling right now, i would be ready to rip his head off, but you have trust him and trust his judgment, just because his friend is a complete jerk, dosent mean your husband is too, i say you go out 2nite too and have fun, dont sit on it cause youre gonna go crazy!
2007-12-08 04:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by suehellen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just reading what you wrote upsets me sooooo much.
!
i'm mad now.
you need to talk to him immediately, tell him how you feel (even if you have to say it again), and let him know that you feel like he's about to be cheating on you.
you feel like you know he's about to go cheat on you and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
let him know that you would never do anything that would make him feel that uncomfortable and hurt, ever.
say you need to talk, and you don't feel comfortable about this friend anymore. say, "don't you think that what he's doing to his fiance is wrong?".
i think it's complete crap for a guy to do this to his wife. especially since you were clear about it from the beginning.
let him know that if you two are going to be disrespectful of each other like that from now on, you don't feel comfortable and can't be sure about the decisions you will make later down the road when it comes to HIS FEELINGS.
make sure you include him in this so he gets an idea of how horrible he would feel if he was in a similar situation.
oh, yeah. you should trust him like the first guy said. but i think that looking at naked women is something you'd trusted him not to do in the first place, am i right?
i'm assuming you feel that the strip club thing is almost as bad as full on cheating anyways. i know i do, but i wouldn't feel that bad if my boyfriend took me with him to one. then it could just be fun.
2007-12-08 04:53:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well you have made your feelings to him known and he cares more about this than not hurting you....so that sucks. I can understand he may be trying to eek out everything he can prior to going off to war -- can see where this may cause him to make certain decisions.
You have every right to be upset...I guess the question is what to you want going forward. You can forgive him and chalk it up to the situation or you can make it clear it is unacceptable, or the two of you can try to negotiate something about these situations going forward. Keep in mind what you want the result to be when you are deciding what to do next.
good luck on your deployment and god bless you for serving.
2007-12-08 04:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by George 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i do no longer think of it is inevitably cheating, yet while he improve into hiding it from then you definitely he for sure felt like he improve into doing some thing incorrect. refer to him approximately it, tell him how lots it upsets you, although he's spending lots money on it. permit him comprehend that's a deal breaker and you will leave. Ask him what you're able to do to boost your intercourse existence so perhaps he won't sense the ought to bypass get lap dances. Ask him what he likes approximately it and notice if there might desire to be a thank you to fulfill those desires some different way. in case you incredibly think of that there is getting extra suitable than a lap dance, leave the jerk thats nasty.
2016-10-01 03:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell the guys fiance what he is doing and saying. I would want someone to tell me about it.
You have now seen what a lot of men are really about.
They don't have enough blood to run their brains and their penis at the same time.
Porn and strip clubs are infidelity. That's why it upsets you so much. Give him the choice of porn and strip clubs or you.
You have to mean it. Stand up for what you believe. Don't sit home being totally disrespected. Make sure he knows his options before he goes out the door. If he goes, kick him to the curb. You have to draw your line in the sand and then you have to defend it.
2007-12-08 04:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sometimes we just have to trust that they'll do the right thing. My rule is don't do anything you wouldn't do if I was with you. Don't sit at home bored and upset. Go out w/ the girls and have some fun.
2007-12-08 05:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
i know this is hard to hear...but I would trust him...if he knows how you feel..he will use good judgement...Juts remind your husband that if you smell any lingering perfume or vagina smell on him...you will pull a Lorena Bobbit on him.
Bottom Line...go with your gut...but dont stay home sulking...go watch the Chippendales!!!
2007-12-08 05:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by Leannamick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have faith in your husband he is not cheating on you just because his friend is cheating. If one of your girlfriends was cheating would you want him to assume that you were too?
2007-12-08 04:54:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
www.miraclesinprogress.org click on the Al-anon link
You don't have a husbands friends problem, or a strip club problem...Those are all symptoms of the Alcohol that youre being effected by...
Al-Anon in your area as well as the 24/7 miralces in progress Al-Anon site will help you see what you're really dealing with and then you will have the support and understanding you need...
Good luck
31 year Us Army Wife & US Army Drug and Alcohol Counselor
2007-12-08 04:52:55 · answer #9 · answered by Dog Rescuer 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Trust your husband.
2007-12-08 04:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋