What to do?

Question

I was told I had cancer about 2 years ago.
My husband left me because he said I was going to die anyway and he wanted to find someone new.
Well my surgery went very well and I am healthy again.
My husband now wants me back, I took vows and I am very serious about them but all my friends and family say not to go back.
Deep down I know I dont want him back but I still love him and we share our daughter.
Its just very confusing.
So one more chance for him or nothing anymore?
Would the best thing be for me to just move on?
Any advice? Thanks

Answer 1

yeah you have seen his character and is this really who you want to spend whatever time you have left with....I would rather be alone (although nothing says that is your only option).

I love a quote by Winston Churchill that goes something like this....man's true character is not seen in times of peace and prosperity but rather in times of strife.

Don't compromise....you have looked in to the abyss, you know how precious life is...live yours to the fullest.

Answer 2

Does this mean anything to u ?
"through SICKNESS and health"

Well he werent there for u when u were sick and would leave u if (God forbid) u get ur cancer back or any kind of disease .. you'll always be in doubt with him BUT i understand that u want a good environment for ur daughter to grow up in and that u still have feelings for him

if ur feelings of love towards him are strong enough for u to forgive what he's done then go back to him and when u do .. u must warn him ! if something like this ever happens again then you'll leave him for sure and u coming back to him doesnt mean that u r desperate or weak .. it's becuz u love him and share a daughter

u gotta give him a tough speech if u plan to get back to him

and he should be really sorry for leaving u NOT by sweet talks NO .. he should show that in his actions

GooD LucK !

Answer 3

Move on, Sweetheart...he's already proved he's willing to bail out rather than stand by you when the going gets rocky...for better or worse, remember? You and the kid deserve a stand-up guy, not one who takes a hike when he has to think of and do for another besides himself....he only wants you when you're nice & shiny (healthy) and not when you may need him......in this case one more chance will be a serious mistake 'cause when the very next 'road bump' appears ( and it will, he'll take a hike again...don't do it.

Answer 4

How can you still love a man who left you when you needed him the most? Don't even give him another chance!It would be a big mistake-it shows him that you will put up with anything just move on and find someone with a heart this time.

Answer 5

I can give you advice because I went through this with my ex husband. I would say don't do it. If you already know that you dont want him back then why waste time. You will only prolong and add to your daughter's pain. I went back and forth for 11 years even when I knew it wouldnt work just to say I gave it another shot. Now that I am happily remarried I realize I gave major time to my minor ex husband.

Good luck! And ultimately noone can make that decision but you

Answer 6

first congrats on your surgery going well.....i am not sure if you should really take him back after leaving you over your illness....if he was the true loving husband then he would have stuck around to be there for you through it ALL...not just when you got better......don't make the same mistake twice....i know it must be hard him being the one you took vows with. On the other hand if you two think that you can work things out and put the past in the past, then I say go for it. Love is a very powerful thing and if its true Love then its meant to be.

Answer 7

God has given you a second chance.. and with a husband like that I wouldn't even think about taking him back! Look what he did to you. He leaves you in your time of need. What about his vows, through sickness and health? You don't need that. What's to say he doesn't run again if you get sick.. god forfid. Honey, kick his a s s to the curb and best of luck! Great to hear about your recovery..don't waste your time.

Answer 8

Your husband does not want you when your sick why would he want you now when your well. He sounds like a sick person to me. When the going gets rough he walks out and he should just stay gone. No way should you even want to take him back. If you were to get sick again then you know that he will just leave again. Find someone else who will be worth it this time.

Answer 9

Wasn't one of your vows in sickness and in health, or has that changed in over 20 years? He sounds like a fair weather friend. I wouldn't count on him for the long haul. I am sorry, but if you get sick again, he'll bail again and you'll be hurt way more. Cut him loose. Gosh, I should have read the other answers, we all have the same thoughts, sorry for adding one more in a long line of it, but I truly believe that he won't change that much.

Answer 10

You answered your own question..Deep down inside you KNOW you do not want him back...Leave it at that..He left you a long time ago..further back than when you got cancer....
All he would do again is be there when everything is going well..When things go bad he turns tail and RUNS in the opposite direction away from you.....REDFLAG!!
Find new guys to date...a child is NEVER a good reason to stay with man who clearly has NEVER been there for you in the first place....
Good luck...