We're in our 50s. 8 yrs ago he was in financial trouble & I 'loaned' him $30,000 that I borrowed. He went 2 yrs w/out so much as paying a water bill. I finally refinanced my house w/ a subprime loan & sold a rental condo to negotiate a settlement on my credit cards, some I borrowed for business before I met him, a lot of it interest over those yrs.
Finally I woke up & insisted he start giving me $200 a week for living expenses. I also started hiding any money I have because he only gives me the $200 when I'm in dire straits.
He wants to share finances & is mad because I won't. He gets mad because he knows I don't tell him everything about my finances. He says the $200 makes him feel like he's paying rent, if he has $500 I should get it.
Problem is when time comes to give up the 500 he's not so willing *if* has it. & I know he'll want 800 back the next week to pay his bills. He's *still* paying 10-yr-old bills.
He thinks he is an equal partner in paying the bills. I'm 2 broke to g
2007-12-08 04:27:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
It sounds to me like this man is a taker. He will never earn his way and he will eventually resort to stealing from you just because in his view what is his is his and what's yours is his too. Assess the situation,his other qualities and living arrangements and if you are willing to put up with his sorry financial contributions after all considerations then just keep on doing whatever it is that has worked thus far. After all, other great moral and human qualities are worth more than any money you can provide for each other. Just make sure you are not in this relationship strictly for financial reasons. He has already proven to be a real drain in your finances, and it sounds to me like you were better off financially without him to begin with.
2007-12-08 12:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by Liz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am guessing you are only staying with him in hopes that he will pay you back.... DO NOT share finances... i would get a lawyer.... I don't know if there is much that can be done.. .because your bf will probably say it was a gift... did you guys make a contract or anything saying when he needs to pay you back etc???
I loaned my friend about 1500.00 to come visit me while I was stationed in Italy... she used the money and never visited me.... That was over 2 years ago... and I have only seen $90.00 so... i can kind of relate to how you feel........ but 30,000 is wayyyy more than 1500.... get a lawyer!!!
Moral of the story... Don't loan money to people unless you never intend to get the money back....
2007-12-08 04:34:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anna J 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you were married, I would say go directly to a marriage counselor because you are headed for divorce court. As it is, I don't think either of you are making wise financial decisions. Combining your finances will only make matters worse.
2007-12-08 05:40:11 · answer #3 · answered by STEVEN F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do. You'll ruin your own finances and that includes buying assets together. My good friend bought a house with her fiance'. They never got married and she got stuck with a house she could not afford alone. She is still trying to recuperate eight years later.
2007-12-08 04:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by BoysX3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out.
Hopefully you have a contract that you loaned him the money and didn't "gift" it to him. Take him to small claims court or whichever appropriate court it would be and have a judge garnish his wages or whatever to get your money back.
2007-12-08 06:30:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know a lot of guys/friends of friends who leech off their girlfriends too... worse part is when they dump her for a real committment later. I wonder why they put up with these guys but.... they must like it. Or tolerate it enough to support them until they dump her. (Which is my long way around of saying that you need to dump him/move on)
2016-05-22 04:21:38 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy is good for nothing,im sorry but hes not worth of your time..he is not thinking of your future together,he thinks youre a bank!!!!obviuosly he needs somebody just to pay for everything.think of your life.you should be enjoying the fruit of your labour.God bless.
2007-12-08 04:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wake up kick him out. he should file chapter 7 clean it all up it cost about $1500.00 but with the new laws has income limits
2007-12-08 04:35:08 · answer #8 · answered by Curtis R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer. Give him the boot. You need to think about your own retirement.
2007-12-08 04:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out. He is using you and taking advantage of you.
2007-12-08 04:36:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋