How do you tell your husband that you are tired of fighting and if something don't change you are leaving?

Question

After a fight things get better for a few days then the s*** hits the fan again. The fights are usually over his imaturaty. The main thing keeping me right now is my step-son. He CANNOT go back into the environment he was in before we got married.

Answer 1

that's it, your on the right path..keep making and finding excuses to stay. How pathetic. Do you realize there are millions and millions of people in the world, so you don't have to take any crap. Will you be hurt ? Sure, but alot of people on here and elsewhere are. I went through the same dilemma with my wife for about 2 years. We had 3 kids though. Come to find out, she was dealing with Post Partum Depression. I left for some time and remained faithful to her. I maintained contact with my kids at all times and I sought out help from a Marriage counselor ( I'm the only one who went ). She got the medication she needed and now is off of and we are really happy. I hope you have a happy ending as well. Good luck

Answer 2

Why do you fight and argue with him? What do you fear?
You really out to take the time to investigate your feelings. Do you have any children? I with you would close your eyes and think or imagine the future you and especially your children (don't we think of them lastly) will have without their father raising them. Maybe you will be able to hook up with another man so he can raise them, or maybe use them for his sexual gratification.
Your decisions and actions have eternal consequences. A wise person learns to respect her man. That is really the only thing that he really wants from his woman. If he is a good man, (not a druggie, pervert,or batterer) He would swim through shark infested water to bring you a drink. Words and deeds are like the bullets in a gun. They are very powerful, can do a lot of damage, and one spoken, like a gun can not be put back in the gun. Many times we say things out of selfishness that we do not realize the damage and hurt that is done. Fire a gun into a crowd of people and look at the pain, hurt, death and aftermath that is lift. Then we wonder Why? If you do not repent to God, him, and everyone that is involved, and take steps to insure you are able to control yourself, you will be alone without him. Strangely, men have the ability to forgive and move on. Imagine a child in the market having a temper tantrum screaming because the child wants something. THAT IS YOU.
Get some help, and get it now. You both deserve to be happy and enjoy life.

Please check out the book "the care and feeding of husbands". read the book and do what it suggests. then call a pastor of a assembly of God, church of God (Cleveland Tenn) or other full gospel church for some private pastoral counseling. This will help you if you want help
God bless
Tom
[e-mail]

Answer 3

what you said in your question sounds pritty good, see if you guys can actually sit down and talk without fighting,put your cards on the table,there is nothing worse than living in an un-happy household, been there, never again!! hopefully you 2 can work things out. dont do it though for the kids sake do it for yours, just remember no-one wants to live in constant turmoil and fighting, you know that, think of the kid....best of luck to yall

Answer 4

In my experience...it takes two to fight. What is it that you find necessary to defend? You knew going in that he was immature. It is not necessary to RESPOND to life in an angry way. You can choose your responses. What are you doing to HELP him mature? I have found in my life that when there are problems, I have to look at myself FIRST and clean up MY act before I can expect good responses from others. BTW Your stepson probably doesn't need to listen to useless arguments...had you thought of that? Criticizing where he came from is not constructive... improving where he is now is a positive! Good luck to all of you!

Answer 5

You should not ever attempt to change your husband. You did not notice his immaturity before you married? Ask yourself what has changed, him or you. Instead of wanting him to change, change your reactions to the things he does that bother you. It takes two people to have a argument, don't participate if you don't want to fight.

Answer 6

i completely understand what u r saying. i cannot answer about what u can do as for as ur stepson but as for u, how much longer can u take the mental abuse r whateva he is doing. mayb u two can go to counseling and get some help bcuz that is the only thing that can probably help.

Answer 7

Well, you will never be able to change your husband. He want's to act like a baby then just treat him like one lol.

Or start acting like him and see if he likes that. Or just record him and make him see himself.

Now about your step-son, just talk to him maybe he will go with you instead with his dad.

Answer 8

is his immaturity your judgement call, or his own? sounds like you need to go to counseling or just pack up and move on. it'll be unfortunate for your step son. but if his dad really does need to grow up, fighting with you about it isn't going to make it happen.

Answer 9

just tell him the fighting has to stop, he needs to make the changes that need to be made for your marriage to be a happy loving relationship, if not you will not stay in such a bad marriage,

Answer 10

Honestly, you can't make him change, he has to make that decision for himself. Only he can make himself change. I understand how frustrated you are.

I'd suggest that you and your husband go to marriage counseling. Your husband needs to see his faults and find a way that he can change those.