Husband left what do I do?

Question

My husband and I just had a big fight he said he couldn't take it anymore and packed all his stuff and left. We fight all the time and he has left before for days and come back but this time I hurt him bad & unless I beg and beg him I know he will not come back. I know I need therepy my husband has been thru hell with me I'm a selfish and controling woman. He is so good to me. I just can't control my temper and I verbally & physically abuse him all the time. I decided not to tell him to come home this time I love him very much & the best thing to do right now is to just let him go and get me some help as much as it's going to hurt & I might even lose him. I know I have to change myself. Now my husband has been waiting for his business to start and he has absolutely no money right now. His car insurance is under my name and I'm paying for it but if I don't plan on being back with him should I cancel it ? or keep it in my name for a while. I don't want him to think I don't care

Answer 1

Give it 48 hours before you start canceling any thing,the banks are not open now anyway,on Monday take the first step by making a appointment to get the help you say you need.

Answer 2

Why do you fight and argue with him? What do you fear?
You really out to take the time to investigate your feelings. Do you have any children? I with you would close your eyes and think or imagine the future you and especially your children (don't we think of them lastly) will have without their father raising them. Maybe you will be able to hook up with another man so he can raise them, or maybe use them for his sexual gratification.
Your decisions and actions have eternal consequences. A wise person learns to respect her man. That is really the only thing that he really wants from his woman. If he is a good man, (not a druggie, pervert,or batterer) He would swim through shark infested water to bring you a drink. Words and deeds are like the bullets in a gun. They are very powerful, can do a lot of damage, and one spoken, like a gun can not be put back in the gun. Many times we say things out of selfishness that we do not realize the damage and hurt that is done. Fire a gun into a crowd of people and look at the pain, hurt, death and aftermath that is lift. Then we wonder Why? If you do not repent to God, him, and everyone that is involved, and take steps to insure you are able to control yourself, you will be alone without him. Strangely, men have the ability to forgive and move on. Imagine a child in the market having a temper tantrum screaming because the child wants something. THAT IS YOU.
Get some help, and get it now. You both deserve to be happy and enjoy life.

Please check out the book "the care and feeding of husbands". read the book and do what it suggests. then call a pastor of a assembly of God, church of God (Cleveland Tenn) or other full gospel church for some private pastoral counseling. This will help you if you want help
God bless
Tom
[e-mail]

Answer 3

You've made alot of progress already. You've admitted you have a problem. Does he know that you agree to having problems ? Listen, there's medication out there that can help you, it won't take away the problems, only you can do that, but it will help lighten the load. When you attack him furiously and occassionally, you prove that you don't love this person. Stop It and cherish the time you have with this person. One day you'll be singing " Don't know what you got, till it's gone "...I have been singing it for 15 years and counting now. Don't be an idiot, get the help you need, and if you care about him, there's nothing wrong with showing it, if you can afford the insurance....Pay it for awhile till he get's on his feet. Forgiveness lies within the both of you. Stay close in touch with one another and try to be friends first, then try the relationship. Don't waist your lives fighting, Life is too short, best wishes !

Answer 4

I feel you should keep the car insurance under your name and pay for it, for one more month. If he decided he does not want to come back, then he needs to make arrangements to get the car insurance in his name and pay it himself, since he seems to be able to handle himself out there in the streets anyways.

In the mean time, you need to try to get some counseling, work things out. I feel he is putting a lot of pressure on you because you seem to be holding a lot of the finacial weight, this is why you snap on him like you do. And he feels less of a man when you snap, so this is why he runs. You two have to come together and work as a team but I feel you both have issues to sort first.

But If counseling does not work then you may have to let him go, and hold your own, which you seem to have no problem taking care of yourself.

You can always start your new beginning at anytime of the year but first get the help you and your husband need before throwing in the towel.

Answer 5

Okay, I am still a kid but hear me out. When I was 9 my dad one day told me: "I gotta run to the office real quick, OK?" and he was gone for 9 months. He came back like three month after my brother was born. When he got home from his personal; getaway, he totally changed his personality and such. Psychologically, I think your husband is going through midlife crisis, just like metapause in women. Give him some space and let him think it through. I strongly believe that human and a mind of their own and the sense of right and wrong will come-a knocking one day at him, saying: "Ok, enough already, just go home.: Now on the other hand, you gotta be open up to him too. Don't demand an apology or anything, believe it or not, almost every domestic arguments are caused by both sides. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 6

It's great that you can admit here that you have some real issues, but actually going out to get help with them is a different matter. You should of done that along time ago.

I'd keep paying his insurance until after you have gotten the help you need or until a divorce is final.

Get help NOW not later do something not just THINK it.

Answer 7

Send him a certified letter telling him that in 7 days you must cancel his car insurance.

Get to a therapist right away.

Even though you have problems, so does he. A person with no money shouldn't start a business. They should get a job.

Answer 8

first off thanx for adding me to the bunch, well lady ure pretty sure in a bad situation that is if u do love him like u say u do....im sorry to say this but if he left its because u were not willing to commit, I lefted my gal for the same reason eventhough it hurts like hell, i've gotta let her see how much she cares for me just like u do for him, but don't let boreness into ure relationship and do not upfront him in other words dont stand up to him with that attitude because that only shows the opposite and unless ure already made to the idea of starting over alone or with someone else commit to him, because if u talk like that about him then it must be true....dont let him down he loves u thats why he lets u stand him down, but in a way its good for him so he can learn to gather more self confidence and stand for what he wants, just like im doing now....

Answer 9

hello lina...ok the first step is to get to him....and have a conversation with him..tell him about your problems... your temper,how controlling you are and all other problems you have...tell him that what you did is wrong..and that you are to be blame for all the bad things that have happen..admitting your mistake is the first step..tell that you need time to help yourself..if you let him go..he will spread his wings and fly away...if you love him..help yourself...and about the business.....i think you should talk to him about this...i can't go no further as i have no right to judge and to tell you how to handle this particular question...but as the business is concern..i think if you love him help yourself so you can get back to him....he loves you very much... i wish you all the best good luck.....

-RaY-

Answer 10

i suggest that you pay for the insurance for one month. make the new year a NEW year. get into therapy and start living the life that you know you deserve to live for yourself. let your husband live the life he needs to live for himself. who knows what time will do for the both of you. but for now, you know you have problems you need to face head on, so get in there and do it til it's done!