Amelia Earhart is one of the many inspiring females in American history. Born on July 24, 1897 in Atchison, Kansas she dared to do what many women, in her time did not. Becoming a pilot in her era turned many heads. She became the most famous aviator of all time. Accomplishing much in her 40 years of life, she opened the way for female pilots
2007-12-08 01:32:22 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ History
I assume your last sentence is your thesis, and it's just fine. You might want your first sentence just to introduce the idea of women in aviation. Your second sentence could bring Amelia Earhart into the discussion. Here, you might want to say that she is ONE OF the most famous aviators of all time. (You wouldn't want to forget about Wilbur Wright, Chas. Lindburgh or Neil Armstrong.) You might even want to mention the fact that those other pilots are all men. Then get to your thesis. Leave out the biographical information until your first body paragraph.
2007-12-08 01:45:57 · answer #1 · answered by jack of all trades 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not very good in English.. but how does this sound?
Amelia Earhart was one of the most inspiring women in American history. Born on July 24, 1897, in Atchison, KS, she dared to do what most women of her time did not. In her 40 years of life, she opened the way for women aviators, by becoming the most famous female aviator of all time.
2007-12-08 10:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by More or less 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're in middle school, its fine. If you're in high school, its really badly constructed. Its really sloppy, and as for the line about the most famous aviator, its probably not even true.
2007-12-08 09:38:11 · answer #3 · answered by Matthew O. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it needs a little work, just play with the sentence order & structure a bit.
2007-12-08 11:44:22 · answer #4 · answered by serendipidy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-12-08 09:39:05 · answer #5 · answered by Frank S 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I like it!! I think your intro is fine.
2007-12-08 09:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋