My husband's a Peds Dr., working a very heavy schedule this month. He rarely has been home for dinner or to help put our two kids to bed. I have been pretty understanding about that, until yesterday, when he wanted to take a few hours out of his very rare day off and help out his female cousin who recently delivered healthy twins. She is very sweet but pretty high maintence. She insists that my husband be her bablies' personal pediatrician, to go over there to examine the babies. He even bought a baby scale out of our pocket to weigh the babies. Anyway she asked that he go over and help her weigh the babies and show her how to give them a bath. I felt this was an unreasonable request and got quite upset that my husband was going to spend half the day over there considering the following cirumstances: This 37yr-old cousin is residing with 6 other adults, one of whom is her husband, a surgeon. My husband decided not to go, but is sulking about it and says I am being petty. Am I?
2007-12-08 01:22:09 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This cousin travelled from overseas to have these IVF babies. One of the babies weighted slightly on the low side but were full-term and came home from the hospital on time. I suppose I'm carrying a bit of a chip on my shoulder, because recently when we were staying with her, my husband went out to buy a camcorder and top-of-the line digital camera as a gift for her and her husband. I asked him while he was out to buy the saline solution because I did not have any with me; he forgot. It was a little embarrassing that he put me on the back burner like that, but I blew it off. But inside I was ticked because I had to throw away those contacts. I have visited her in the hospital, sent food and visited her at home once. Don't get me wrong she is a nice person, but in another way totally clueless..she bought like 12 pairs of newborn shoes, but did not buy the "essentials" like I kept telling her. I bought her some, but she insisted she would get around to getting the rest but she posponed..
2007-12-08 02:35:03 · update #1
no you are not being petty you sacrifice a lot of time with our husband if he has a day off he should spend it with his family it would different if his cousin was 17 and single the fact that she is 37 and married to a doctor it is ridiculous that she asked him to teach her how to bathe her children I'm sure your husband wanted to help but he should also think how this would have made her husband feel he needs to remember it is ok to say no even to family it would have been different if the babies were sick
2007-12-08 01:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe not petty or unreasonable but at the same time, him going to see a cousin and family shouldn't be a big deal either.
Why don't you offer to go with him so at least you would be still spending time with him. Or let him go but ask him to only go for an hour because you and his kids want to spend some time with him.
Seems to me, spending time with him while he's sulking isn't any better then him not being home, actually if mine was sulking around I would rather he go to work at least I don't have to listen to it
Try to meet him in the middle, his cousins looks shouldn't have anything to do with anything, she's his cousin! There has to be a way to resolve it and keep everyone Happy, right now neither of you are happy
2007-12-08 01:30:34 · answer #2 · answered by vjustmehere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that what you're feeling isn't petty..... but I would suggest that maybe your delivery method needs improving.
What you wanted was to spend some time with your husband, right? He works very hard to support you and the kids...... and you wanted some quality time with him. However, he put his cousin's needs ahead of his wife's needs, and you got a bit butthurt about it.
Maybe you need to take an honest look at how you handled this. Did you whine? Did you argue? Did you chew on it till you were upset and THEN talk to your husband about it?
Maybe next time you should say "Your going to your cousins? I was hoping that we'd get to spend some time getting to know each other again...." and maybe be flirty and sexy for him. Or, if seduction isn't your thing... maybe just saying "You know what? I miss you.....do what you have to do, but just remember that I'm missing you terribly"
Something along those lines might have made him feel like he WANTED to be with you, you know? Just a thought.....
2007-12-08 01:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by Aron1968_30 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No....she's 37 years old ?? Why is she being treated like a baby? She's a grown woman - and living with 6 other adults who would be able to help her if needed!!
Heck, I was 24 when I had my son - and had moved away from my family before he was born due to hubby's work, and I had no family to help me... she needs to get a grip and start taking things into her own hands - not go crying off to your husband for him to show her how to bath her child!! SHHEESSHH - that's what the hospital stay and nurses in maternity are for !! Be strong girl !!
2007-12-08 01:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear_45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm quite sure this 37 year old could figure out how to bathe her babies.....(THEY'RE HOW OLD??...how has she bathed them up till now?) I bet the surgeon could show her how. I am glad your husband decided not to go. Tell him you appreciate that and suggest the TWO OF YOU visit together and take a nice gift for the babies and leave the scales with her.
2007-12-08 03:49:24 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i attempted, yet i can not think of of a unmarried occasion the place I became unreasonably disillusioned. i'm often the cool-headed one. I do have a chum who's amazingly emotional, and could improve into disillusioned on the drop of a hat. So i assume we style of stability out.
2016-10-01 03:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps a little but just tell him that you want to go with him to visit her and perhaps that will let her know that she is impossing upon your time with your husband. That will give you time together even if it is for that reason.
2007-12-08 01:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sounds odd.. is it possible the twins are not as healthy as you think? unless he is seriously concerned about their health it seems like an odd relationship.. I would be more understanding if he wanted to use him limited off time to do something fun..
2007-12-08 01:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by hitchnj 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your being petty if she lives with someone as qualified as a surgeon
2007-12-08 01:30:22 · answer #9 · answered by Gina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are. She's his family!!! Besides, her hubby may be a surgeon, but your husband is a pediatrician!!! I understand you wanting to see him more, but nagging and bitc**ng won't help! You could offer to help her out so when he's off work he doesn't have to.
2007-12-08 01:30:22 · answer #10 · answered by christina30 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋