I have been with my husband 4 years,married 7 months, I found condoms in his wallet yesterday and he said they were old and that it wasnt what it looked like( because we don't use them). Then he says he is going out to an old friends birthday party and is an extra shirt with him(I just found that odd) and I ask if I could go and he wouldn't le me and it's after 4 in the morning and he has never called yet? should I be worried or thinking of how to get even?
2007-12-07 21:09:50 · 17 answers · asked by free2Bme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try asking him. if his answers don't satisfy you, then maybe that's the time to do something else like checking with his friends if he says he's with them. but first ask him. there may a reason. also, reevaluate why you are starting to doubt his actions.
2007-12-07 22:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by Melanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmmm.....let's see here....
He has 4 1/2 year old condoms in his wallet - did you ever see in his wallet before? Were they there then?
An old friend's birthdy party? And you aren't invited? Do you know the old friend?
Not home by 4 in the morning - very bad!!!! The bars close at 2 am, right?
OK, it looks very bad, but before you get all upset and can't think straight, step back and think if you want to fight for your marriage or not.
If this is the only time and you have children and want to keep it together, get the Divorce Busters book immediately. It tells you how to deal with a cheater, cheating, and the other woman. If you do want him, you are going to have to be more charming, prettier, gracious, etc. than your competition and your home needs to be so much more comfortable for him than anywhere else. This does not mean you agree with cheating, however. Just don't accuse him until you get that book or get proof.
Start collecting evidence for the divorce court in case you end up there - email printouts, cell phone records, etc. Next time he goes out like this, follow him or hire a detective to do it.
Things to think about:
Now it's 4 in the morning and you're all worried. Maybe he stopped by his Mom's? Have you called and asked her? Or maybe he got drunk and had an accident.
Pray, God is on your side and He hates divorce.
Joy to you!!!
2007-12-08 05:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre already worried. Dont get even. Figure out if he's worth living through an affair. If he is ask him if he wants to stick it out and figure out why he went to the extreme of buying condoms, not inviting you to a party etc. Because he's defenitely looking to screw around. Its not like he got drunk and uh oh I cheated. He is acting as if he's single. You know he hasnt had conoms in his wallet for 4 1/2 years. Dont back down. Dont swallow his lies. Tell him what YOU want to do at this point. If hes willing he will do it. My guess is he's kind of over being married. But I dont know his side.
2007-12-08 05:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by aperfectpeach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh I would, I would be curious and demand answers, have you called him. What time is he comming home thats kind of late to be out when he has a great lady at home and why the hell didn't he take you if he was staying out so late. I could understand going out with his boys once in a while but comming home at a decent time. Would he like you to do that ****. I don't like it! and the condom situation, is the condoms 4 yrs old. He would have taken them out by now. Of course you don't use them but someone is! Think it does't sound right Condoms!! Yeah right!
2007-12-08 05:16:04 · answer #4 · answered by Smile 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've seen the same tactics used by other people and it always is because they're cheating or seriously considering it. From what you wrote, I'd say hell, yeah, he's cheating! Your marriage is in serious peril. Getting even won't solve anything. Get an attorney, you may need one.
2007-12-08 05:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Desert Rat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well what would he say if you started carrying condoms and a change of clothing? You know the answer to this, and therefore the answer to your own question.
2007-12-08 05:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by CountTheDays 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
rather than think of getting even perhaps you should think of splitting for awhile that way he can stop and see what he is doing..........nobody keeps condoms for 4 years and doesn't use them. adultry is a hard sin to overlook in any marriage
2007-12-08 05:15:08 · answer #7 · answered by idiotzaint 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut , it is usually correct.
Go out with your own friends, conduct behavior such as his, and see how he reacts.
Guilty dogs either bark really loud or they hang their heads in shame.
Don't put up with his nonsense for long.
2007-12-08 07:58:12 · answer #8 · answered by georgia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bars close at 2am. So between then and sunrise, he is either wandering the streets alone, or he's banging someone.
What do you think is more likely to be happening?
The Rat
2007-12-08 06:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is most definitely cheating. dont let him run over you like this. save up money or whatever you need to do and move out one day while he is gone. i did that to two boyfriends cause they were cheating and it was the best slap in the face i could give. showing them u arent dependant on them and dont need them
2007-12-08 05:15:28 · answer #10 · answered by knowitall 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋