It seems to me that if I was married and there was sexual problems, I would try to figure out the cause. Perhaps she had someone close die. Or maybe she is experiencing an emotional crises. Maybe job stress.
All I know is that she is the woman I married and I love her just as much as she loves me. So why should sex problems cause me to leave her? It won't, because we will find a way to work things out because we love each other. Love each other enough to get married and spend the rest of our life together.
I just don't see why sex is so important that it warrants a divorce for some people when it gets slightly stale. I mean, I think it's unrealistic to have wild,fantastic sex 24/7/365. I think people have unrealistic expectations of sex and place it way too highly compared to the meanings of a true, loving, and unconditional relationship.
2007-12-07 19:47:18 · 20 answers · asked by airforcewolf 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because some people put emphasis on the wrong aspects of a relationship. I'm a virgin and I plan to stay so until marriage... while I am a religious person, the main reason behind this is not spiritual in nature, but rather, me just not caring all that much about sex. I don't doubt that it feels wonderful, I hear about that all the time, but it seems to me that the best relationships are ones where sex isn't really that big of a deal. I mean, you can have sex with anyone, literally, anyone, on this Earth, so why would it matter? However, a close interpersonal relationship with someone you trust, care about, love, know much about, get along great with, etc... there are few people in this world you can have that with.
2007-12-07 19:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Zac 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is true things like that happen. It is important to find out the cause of the problem and try to fix it. Sometimes it is due to some stress, or medications. If it is due to some stress like someone dying or emotional crises then these resolve themselves usually in a relatively short time. If the person is on medication then it may not be so easy to resolve but at least it is understandable. Sometimes though and I would bet most of the time it is not outside pressure. In this last case denying sex is a control issue. It can be because one is angry with the other or it could be because on is really not a satisfying lover. I know of one example where the wife really likes sex but the husband uses sex as a weapon. He is there for his own pleasure and if he likes doing something then he will do it such as say biting even if the wife does not like it. He takes no time in foreplay or making sure she is ready to have sex and then he finishes within a couple of minutes leaving the wife without any satisfaction.
Take that scenario for say 5 years. The wife telling the husband what she likes, how she likes it and discussing what she would need to feel better during sex. Now after a while say 4 years into this marriage she decides she no longer wants sex or will just be there for him and forget about herself. She is just a recepticle.
There are more problems in this marriage than sex but it is certainly coming out in this area because it is the most intimate time. Now along with the sex problems there are other problems with the husband, and emotional problems with the wife, and she decides it might be time to get her own place. She tells her husband she is going to do that. Suddenly he changes his tune about sex and starts to listen to how she likes it and does some of what she likes so she can have satisfaction.
Is threatening the answer no certainly not however in this case the wife really was tired of the way things were going in the marriage. The sex was highlighted because again it is the most intimate of areas in a marriage. Oh yes the husband has a true, unconditional relationship with the wife and they are friends but in a marriage if one is not taking care of the others needs then it ´CAN be a reflection of other parts of the marriage. For example the husband in this case also keeps money from the wife, he will get her anything she wants but keeps it from her. The husband also does not like to eat fish or chicken, and because he does not like it refuses to allow it to be cooked in the house. But the wife likes it and must go outside to cook it. It is the same thing so if there is a problem in sex then the couple should really look at the marriage as a whole and try to fix the real problem. Not just the sex.
2007-12-07 21:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am far from perfect and did not practice what I am about to preach. Wish I had but I cannot change the past.
Most people do not wait until marriage to have sex. If they did they would experience the joys of the relationship together and then after marriage they would experience sex for the first time together. It would be sex with love which makes it so much better. A lot of people are all about them selves and temporal pleasures. They lack self-respect and respect for others. Marriage should not be about sex, because sex is supposed to be experienced only after marriage, which means no previous experience is required.
2007-12-07 20:03:53 · answer #3 · answered by anyhoo085 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is an important and integral component to living. When it is absent, the animalistic instinct that we all have, forces us to look elsewhere to satisfy that instinct - that need - through an affair etc.....
One can be an ascetic in life. Some living in the Himalayas do not have sex their entire adult life. Life, for common ordinary men is not like that. There is this inherent quality built into men that is fundamental - the urge to merge.
Disappointment, in the absence of sex, leads to bitterness arguments and break up. The root cause of it all in most cases is sex. Of course there are other reasons for divorce such as financial stress and a myriad of other things but the bottom line is sex or the lack of it.
You can cut it in any which way. Think about this deeply.
2007-12-07 20:00:48 · answer #4 · answered by Nightrider 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
specific, you are able to. i think of that's filed decrease than irreconcilable adjustments. I see what you recommend although, s.ex is an substantial area of marriage and one that permits lay the guidelines of appreciate and have confidence. If there is no hobby or being concerned interior the mattress room there won't be any interior the relationship. Now i'd desire to be incorrect, and he would desire to be the sweetest maximum being concerned guy obtainable. it somewhat is beside the element thugh, whether he's a so referred to as "minute guy" he would desire to nevertheless make an effort and compassion to be certain you're fulfilled. I firmly have self assurance in taking any severe important different for a trychronic, because of the fact easily if the intercourse isn't good, the relationship probable will fail besides. i comprehend the coalition for premartital intercourse would be throughout my butt for this and that i assume many thumbs down. yet you already know what, I even have been in a relationship with my husband for extremely nearly 8 years, and the s.ex remains as strategies-blowing because it replaced into the 1st time, I nevertheless get goosebumps whilst he touches me, and he makes me see stars. so because it somewhat is my opinion. while you're unhappy go away, it would probable be ultimate for the two considered one of you. Why stay an unhappy existence and be depressing each and all of the time (and make one yet another go through), once you may desire to be out assembly somebody who will please you all around.
2016-11-14 01:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by datta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, the better the relationship, the better the sex. Sex problems without medical cause are relationship problems, and the sex problem is the symptom and not the real problem.
My wife decided she was opposed to being in a monogamous, but that I had no such choice in the matter. Sorry, At some point worse is worse than I reasonably expected.
However my last marriage was until she died. And the last time we had sex, it was probably the most sensuous experience of my life (she died several months later).
2007-12-07 20:10:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think sex is the only reason people would divorce. Maybe lake of sex due to lost love or some other feelings. I hope people don't divorce just because the sex is not the best. Most people don't wait till marriage anyways so they know what the sex is like before they tie the knot.
2007-12-07 19:52:56 · answer #7 · answered by snowflake311 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship is different and we're all individuals with different needs. I believe that for a relationship to be fulfilling, it must be mentally, emotionally as well as physically. There has to be sexual chemistry/compatibility for a couple to have a healthy sex life together. It's more than a physical bond that unites and keeps you connected. It's spiritual, intimate and deep. It's passion and trust that is shared between 2 souls. Sometimes, it can't be fixed if 2 people don't have that chemistry/compatibility.
2007-12-07 19:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by artutina 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You made a good point. I have never known anyone to get divorced because of this. Sexual problems are very easy to fix.
2007-12-07 19:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by kim h 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
umm i dont agree....i think you need both to be happy...i will not say one is more important that the other..but i wouldn't stay with a girl is our sex life sucked...and i wouldn't stay with a girl if our loved life sucked... both need to work for a relationship to be healthy. and both take alot of work to keep going.. there have been times when i like a girl but then had sex with her and didn't like her anymore..something about her turned me off...it happens
you seem really feminine...maybe that's the problem maybe she wants a "man's Man" or whatever...don't know what to tell you bro some girls are different....
and to tall the girls that say aww i wish more guys were like this.....if they were they would all be gay.....F.aG Hags
2007-12-07 19:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋