Why are men so defensive? Especially when it involes a female?

Question

Ok details would be good huh? Ok I'm seeing this guy.... he tells me he loves me and I love him, but he has another girl in the picture. He has a girl that is his bestfriend and at one time they wanted to be more than friends then he met me. We decided we wanted to be together. He hasnt told the other girl about me. So they still email and talk on the phone but he says its not the same since he has met me. Then why doesnt he tell her that he is with me and is In love with me. Is he trying to have his cake and eat it too?

Answer 1

need more details are you talking about a cheating man or a family member who is seeing someone you dont approve of or what?

thanks for the details i think guys arent huge fans of change and you would be changing the routine if you were to interrupt what he has with his friend. but i would still make it clear to him that he needs to make it clear to her and all others that its about the two of you. cause right now its looking partly cloudy.

Answer 2

Communication is important so my theory goes that most misunderstandings start with conversation. The tone, the place, the time, the way it's brought up.

Men and women both mean well usually when dealing with each other, it's just that we all get lost in translation. What we think and how it really is is not always the same picture.

What might look like a simple misunderstanding to one side, could look and feel like an attack to another.

Its called being a person with feelings man.

Answer 3

Your question is way too vague to give a decent answer. However, I will say this: anyone that tries to harm my "sweetie" is going to see what it feels like to have me take out all the frustrations of my entire life on their face, and after that, then I'm going to start getting really, really nasty... they may or may not survive, but Stevie Ray Vaughn put it exactly: "You mess with her you'll see a man get mean". I love her, and if necessary (and only if necessary) I would indeed use lethal force to protect her. She would do the same for me.

Answer 4

Well, as for me, I get protective over the people I care about. I also won't show as much emotion around the people I want to be strong for. But what I think you mean is why men get so defensive of their territory(the woman they are dating). I think this has alot to do with some leftover protective instincts from our proto-human ancestors. Modern primates also tend to be protective of their mates. Human beings are also members of the primate family so I would assume this aggressiveness is hard-wired into the males.

Answer 5

it may be the way you approach a subject? how long has this relationship been going on? new? he's reacting to a past girlfriends actions. old? are you pushing his buttons because you know each other so well. it all has to do with communication, and sometimes the timing of it. men and women communicate differently, try short and sweet and to the point, instead of "too much information". if you have this problem with most men, you're the problem. if it's just your man, maybe it's him that's the problem. just my guess.

Answer 6

Tough guy mentality, and some women actually like/encourage this immature behavior! Aww he wants to fight over me, how cute! Sometimes it's necessary but usually it's a pride/bravado thing. Most tough guys cant effectively communicate with words so they resort to defensive tactics, always trying to prove something.

Answer 7

Dont marry him , dont date him HELLO he wont tell another girl about you why? , because your NOT important enough yet and yes he's keeping his option's open , He's tellen you what you wanna hear so he can keep both of you on a string until he makes a decision.

Why is this in marriage and divorce and not single and dating? .....

Answer 8

Yes he is and if he is serious with you, telling her should not be a problem. This is what you should be working on him to do. If he still fails to do so, re think the situation. You cant deny love but you cant hide it either.

Answer 9

Little boys have this jealous feeling when they think women are property. "You looking at my woman?" Bang. Pow. Zoom.

Real men won't care because we don't own you. You are your own person and if you are interested in someone else, then it wasn't meant to be. I won't waste any sweat over it. There's millions of vaginas out there. Yours is nothing special.

Answer 10

TESTOSTERONE. It promotes aggressiveness and causes us to be territorial...both survival instincts. Although it is 2007 we still carry the DNA program. Even if a guy doesn't consciously realize it, his woman is his territory. If any guy is worth it, he will display aggression if his territory is threatened.