18 pregnant and scared but so happy....and i need help.?

Question

the guy isnt my boyfriend hes a good friend and has a girlfreind. my parents know. i just told them. its only like 4 weeks using the pregnancy calander...but according to the wen you last had sex calander its almost 3 weeks. but to my question(s)

1. wat things should i expect next. (different sicknesses, more pains, etc)
2. wat do they do during the pelvic exam...im really worried about that.
3. how to i tell the guy...im scared to tell him.
4. im really happy about it just cuz i love childbirth and stuff, but i dont wanna show it in school for my own protection so is there certain things i shouldnt do?

i think thats all i got for now. thanks for helping me...those of you that do help me.

Answer 1

First of all, you MUST get under the care of a doctor. You need nutritional advice and to be monitored throughout your pregnancy. This is an absolute necessity.

If you can't afford a doctor, a GREAT source of information is Planned Parenthood (PPH). Most people think that PPH is only about abortions ... it is not. They will offer you free advice and free monitoring of your pregnancy by a medical professional.

The father, no matter his age or relationship, is financially responsible for the child just as you are. THAT'S THE LAW.

You MUST see someone.

Good luck! You're grounded for the next 18 years.

Answer 2

Get "What to Expect When Expecting" a book that walks you through the changes of your body. Also, "Your Pregnancy Week by Week," is another one I liked. Between the two a lot of your questions will be answered.

Don't worry about the pelvic exam. It is uncomfortable, and awkward but every woman goes through it. Your feet are in these weird things they call stirrups that keep your legs apart (knees bent) and they use a metal thing to hold the opening open when they take a swab. There is probably a physical exam as well. Again, not anyone's favorite thing but not traumatic either.

Wait and talk to your parents and a counselor before you tell the guy. (As in a week or two while you sort things out in your own head and get your emotional support lined up...but he should know before your friends.)

I don't really understand your last question. Your doctor will tell you all your limitations on physical activity. You can pretty much keep doing everything you do until you are too big to do it. I skied and roller bladed until about 3-4 months. I biked until my belly hit my knees. Then I just walked.

Good luck, I wish you and your baby well and am glad your parents are supportive.

Answer 3

You will have a lot of sutle pains (almost like cramps that come and go...not strong cramps) this if called growing pains. You may get morning sickness, you may not. I personally had only naseau for about three months. You will find certain foods give you naseau, headaches, dizziness, etc. It is all trial and error. Your first pelvic exam may be at your first visit. It doesn't hurt, just a little uncomfortable. The nicer the doctor is the less nervous you are and the less uncomfortable the exam is. It is mainly uncomfortable, because you are so nervous and tense.

I would invite your friend over to tell him. Have a one on one conversation and just say it. There is no good way to say it when it is unexpected. I wouldn't tell anyone else until you tell him. You don't want him to find out from anyone else. That would be the worse thing in the world. Let him know what you expect from him and what your plans are with the baby. It is really going to be hard to keep everyone at school from finding out that you are pregnant, especially if he goes to school with you. You know you are going to have one angry girlfriend that will probably start a bunch of rumors that aren't true. Be prepared. If she attends school with you, I would probably go ahead and let it be known that you are pregnant than letting a bunch of untrue rumors fly by. Otherwise, plan to get home tutoring or find other means of education elsewhere. Be sure to get your education. If you plan on raising this baby on your own, it won't do any good to be dumb as a box of rocks....afterall, you are going to be this babies best teacher in the world. Lead by example and do the best you can possible do. This will be your greatest joy and hardest job in the world. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

First off, are you 100% sure you're pregnant?

Anyway, you might get lucky like me and not get sick at all. Most women have "morning" sickness that can really occur at anytime during the day. You may or may not experience sore boobs, food cravings, food aversions, peeing all the time, being an emotional rollercoaster, etc. Every pregnancy is different, so there's not just one set of "what to expects."

The pelvic exam is just like a regular pap smear - hopefully you've had one before since you're sexually active. If you haven't, all they do is basically open you up with a speculum, take a qtip and swab around, and then you're done. It's nothing at all, and you definitely shouldn't be worried about it.

As far as telling him, you will have to come out and tell him. Call him and tell him that you two need to talk in person privately, and just come out and say it. Since he apparently cheated on his girlfriend and now has a baby on the way with you, you can expect him to freak out a little bit. Now he has to deal with you, the pregnancy, and the imminent breakup with his girlfriend. Just don't let him stress you out -- it's bad for the baby. If he does try to run away and not help out, just make sure you get the child support money from him.

I don't really understand the last part of your question...do you mean you want to hide the pregnancy? What would you need protection from? I'm afraid you're not going to be able to hide it forever...pretty soon people will notice the watermelon under your shirt. People will always talk, it's just best not to let it get to you. I wouldn't worry about hiding it; you're bringing a life into the world, hell, you should be proud if anything.

P.S. Congratulations! I'm glad you already told your parents; that's often the hardest part. Keep your head up, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Pregnancy is hard, and it's better when you have lots of support. Good luck!

Answer 5

1) You might experience some sickness, might not. Keep crackers and water around you.

2) Oh gosh...it's been awhile. If I remember correctly, the doc will use the fingertips (on the outside) to feel for the uterus to determine the approximate growth of the fetus and to make sure you're not feeling any pain while doing so. Nothing bad.

3) You flat out tell him. He's the other responsible party besides yourself, whether or not he wants to remain in a relationship with you. Don't spare any feelings here. That kid is top priority now.

4) It's going to be kind of tough to not show it since you're still in school. As long as you don't totally pig out and gain a lot of unnecessary weight, you can probably hide it for a bit, but don't expect to hide it until the end of the school year since there's about 6 months left.

This is a huge responsibility. Your parents may help a little, but don't push this kid off on them. Raising a child is a huge rude awakening if you're not even remotely ready for it. Good luck!

Answer 6

Everyones body is different and pregancy is different for every women not to mention every child is different during time growing inside mommys tummy .Some people get morning sickness some don't .And it also depends on your routines as a person do you smoke drink what your diets like etc..But baby books are good lie what to expect when expecting is a great one ...But normaly streach marks craps worse the the period ones . sometime charle horses in your legs etc ..hormones ...cravings that a big thing movement in your tummy ..gas ...indigestion ..and other good things as well ..The pelvis exzam is like your routine gyn exam i'm your you had one of those before but you only get that in the begging and towards the end sometime usally they just listien to the heart beat and mesure your tummy draw blood noral stuff ..About the father tell him the truth sit down and talk ..Hes not that serious about the girls hes with if he cheated on her .He may just be out to play games so tell him either work it out or take hi t court for hild support but reeber f choses to play hardball that doesn't mean because he pays he has a right to see the baby ..And last but not least women tend to be happy during pregancy so just be yourself and don't ake no crap be carefull ofthisewho en bad news kepp you and your baby safe ..And enjoy your hoilday and even though the babbys in your tummy it will be your first xmas as a mo have fun and merry xas and happy new year to a new mommy ..Good luck and god bless...

Answer 7

(1)There is no way to tell you what to expect, every woman is different. I never had morning sickness per say---certain smells when I was pregnant with my 2nd child world make me throw up. I never got throwing up sick with my other two.
I never had any real pain from being pregnant with my first two but I was in very bad pain with my 3rd.

(2) The pelvic exam is no big deal really, they just insert a couple fingers to feel how your cervix is--this can start to hurt toward the later months.

(3)You just tell the guy, there is no easy way about it in your situation. If you don't want to tell him face to face, then call him--but it would be better face to face and just tell him "I am sorry this happened but we are going to be parents in about 8 months."

(4)I am not sure what you are asking, but there is no way to hide this from people, you will start to show. I know some hide it but for most people, it can't be done.

As for things you shouldn't do, it depends on what your activities are--there are to many do's and don'ts to list---do not drink,smoke, or do drugs, those are the 3 biggest NO-NO's in my opinion.
Drink lot's of water and take prenatal vitamins, eat good and get plenty of rest, If you haven't done so yet, call to make a appointment to get things moving so you can get the best care possible,

Good Luck!

Answer 8

Wow so you slept with a boy that you knew had a gf and look what happened! I wouldn't count on the daddy being there for you or the baby, at his age he will probably deny it all together. Its good that you told your parents. Just tell the guy face to face, let him know he is the father and that you are keeping it. I hope you plan on getting a job soon because you shouldn't make your parents pay for your mistake of not using protection! Good luck

Answer 9

one you made a big mistake by messing with a guy that had a girlfriend already, but no ones perfect in life, now you juts have to worry about the baby inside of you? I say you tell him, you can do this by having some dinner using baby carrots, anything that says baby, then talk to him, girl just be happy and do you, don't worry about what others think or will say, cause you have girls as young as 13 years old getting pregnant, you will go through a whole lot of things, every woman young or old, body is different good luck and don't worry

Answer 10

Congrats girlie!
Thats good that you've told your parents already, I would think thats the hardest part, I'm your age so I know how tough that must have been for you.
1. How sick you get during your pregnancy depends completely on your body. Morning sickness is almost a given for everyone though. Just always keep an emergency kit with you that you can hide in a purse that has crackers (for when your stomach gets upset), a small bottle of water (its important to stay hydrated), a "sick bag" just in case you don't have time to make it to the bathroom or a trashcan, mouthwash (in case you get sick). Also, depending on your body, you might get sick because of certain scents so I wouldn't wear perfume when you begin to get morning sickness because that may make it worse for you and thats not what you need. Ginger products like Ginger-Ale and ginger snaps help you to alleviate morning sickness too!
Pains and aches are normal, a hot pad may help with back aches and side aches, just remember to relax and don't push yourself!
2. Your pelvic exam won't be that bad. The worst part is being nervous about it! Once you get over your nerves its smooth sailing. The exam is important because they will be able to make sure your baby is okay :) They will make you get undressed (waist down) and then you have to put your feet in these "stirup" things. They take a metal instrument and place it in you and take swabs for testing. Here is the process in steps (http://teenadvice.about.com/od/factsheetsforteens/a/10thingspelvic.htm)
3.With telling the father you have lots of options. Don't be scared, just sit him down and tell him ' I missed a period so I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. ' or something like that, you don't have to go into detail because he will be shocked, just like you were. Just treat him like you wanted to be treated when you found out. And he is your good friend so he will understand. You can even write him a letter if you don't feel comfortable telling him face-to-face. It will go fine!
4. Not wanting to show your pregnancy in school is understandable! Just be sure to only tell the people you trust and make sure they know not to tell anyone, high school can be bad but just surround yourself with a support group of close friends and you will be protected. Make sure not to participant in sports that may require too rigorous activity or may harm you or your baby. Also, you should let your health nurse know about your pregnancy, they're there to help you through this and they will help you decide what you should stay away from at your particular school. In order to not show, you have to keep your wardrobe up to date, getting bigger clothes for each trimester, not just drowning yourself in sweatshirts. Your mom and friends can help you shop for clothes that conceal your stomach.

www.pregnancy.org is a great website to get involved with. It has articles that will help you and a special section for young mothers. It also has message boards so that you can chat with people who are going through the same things you are.

Good luck and remember your friends and family are there for you! Hope I helped some :)