I have my close group of friends at school and all, but I don't have a close set of genuine friends that I go out and do things with on the weekend or just hang out with in spare time. I am shy and often appear to have a cold, unapproachable attitude, but I'm not really like that. I want to be able to make friends easier and become more social. Plus, I'm sixteen and its unusual for a sixteen year-old not to have some best friends to go and do stuff with and depend upon. So what I want to know is if there are ways or tips I can follow that will broaden my horizons in terms of social and friendship. How can I get better at making close friends without changing who I am. How should I express myself so that people won't be so intimidated by my shyness?
2007-12-07 16:57:25 · 9 answers · asked by Natalie Scottsworth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Start off by looking at you... and the things you like about you. Those are the things other people will want to hear about. Make a list in your mind of things you like. For example, cooking, playing chess, ice skating, etc.
Then join a club or weekly activity (doesn't have to be at school and just start off with one.) You could take ballet at a neighborhood dance academy, become a girl scout or something of this nature.
This may feel awkward at first because you won't know anyone, but soon you'll know the entire group and will automatically have something in common with them because they share an interest with you. Then they will introduce you to people they know outside of the class like a cousin or neighbor and your list of friends will grow from there.
The important thing is be yourself. You may want to tell people when you first meet them that you are a little shy until you get to know people and then after that you feel more comfortable.
Take a genuine interest in getting to know them. Sometimes you can use props as icebreakers, kinda like when you were young and you brought something cool for show and tell and everybody circled around to see it. Keep it simple, like a cell phone ring tone that you think is cute. Say..Hey Cathy, check this out. I really like it. It's fun."
When meeting people always use eye contact and smile. Maybe be nice to someone in your class that nobody ever pays attention to.
Think of at least one way each week that you can possibly extend out of your comfort zone in meeing people and go for it. Just be careful with complete strangers. Only seek friends that your friends or acquaintances know pretty well.
Ask potential friends questions that you are almost certain they know the answer to. For example, if there is a girl in your class who loves music, ask her what the drummers name is in 30 seconds to Mars. If she says why? just say I couldnt remember and thought you would know for sure. If she says I don't know, say I can never remember that for some reason and someone asked me the other day.
Here is a trick I have learned for making people feel comfortable when you first talk to them. As they speak to you look at the bridge of their nose instead of staring in their eyes and glance away a few times so it doesnt look like you are staring. As they talk, think something positive in your head like "Hey, I really think you are interesting."
The vibe will come through and they will talk more and more each time they see you.
Don't worry about people who are mean and judgemental, Just keep being yourself and move on to the ones who want real friends just like you.
2007-12-07 17:21:50 · answer #1 · answered by Sugar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
smiling at people and saying hi and good morning are always good starters. Making genuine friends is a hard thing to do b/c there are many more non-genuine people to choose from. I don't have many friends b/c I have a hard time finding people that share my morals and like to do the same things I do. The best advice I can give you is just to pray about it and be nice to everyone you meet. Try to be aware of your facial expression and tone of voice. I had to learn to change mine so I was more approachable too. It's worth the effort. Good luck!
2007-12-07 17:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by J C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be your self. Find something that other people are into that you like doing and join them. Go to the games at your school, that is a good way to get to know people. You can cheer along with the crowd and those around you.
2007-12-07 17:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lonnie M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a club, co sponsor a party or fun activity. Volunteer with a friend during the holidays, This will allow you to bond and build deeper friendships.
2007-12-07 17:01:37 · answer #4 · answered by The Evolution of T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am exactly the same way
i dont have friends to hang out with anymore..my best friend moved to a different school and sense then i dont have any close friends. the best thing you can do is just be out there. talk to people. you dont have to change who you are. be exactly who you are outside of school or what ever. good luck with that tho friends are important
2007-12-07 17:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by jill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! you have have been given a good guy to love. You the two like one yet another & probable loving too yet there is no thought or acceptance from the two considered one of you. He no longer only likes you yet additionally loves you & probable fears from offering. You the two are very nearly there yet no longer able to precise to a minimum of one yet another. with a bit of luck he would propose you or only rapidly away carry your hand. want no longer be in a hurry, only look ahead to the suitable 2d & you would be interior the affection-international very quickly - formally, lol.
2016-11-14 01:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should try to look more up to beat and hang out with friends that have something or alot in common with you
2007-12-07 17:02:24 · answer #7 · answered by tommie n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be real,beware of peer pressure!
2007-12-07 17:05:54 · answer #8 · answered by Mark K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be genuine
2007-12-07 17:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋