pain in the *** husband!!!!?

Question

well im 36 wk preg and all thru my preg my hubby hangs out at this friends party almost every friday of the week....he know i hate this friend but he always takes his friends side and whatever i say i'm in the wrong ....why do men take up for their stupid nasty frineds?

Answer 1

I never take my friends word over my wife's. If they persist with something I'll do some research before, but at face value, my wife always comes first.

Answer 2

The father of my child was like that. He would take off in the car with his friend and stay out for days and nights partying. No matter what I said or did, it kept happening. It continued after my daughter was born and before she was a year old I left his ***. I never regretted it once - that was 16 years ago and my life has gotten nothing but better. I'm not saying you should do the same. But you also have to consider that he may not change his behavior after the baby is born and you may want to keep that in mind. There are always other options and sometimes making your own way and doing the best for your child is preferable than wasting time with someone who just brings you down.

Answer 3

It sucks that you are preg and he off having fun w/o you. But like others say you can't control who he's friends are, u would hate him for doing it to you. If he only going out one night a week with his friend then let him have that night, take that opportunity to be with your friends or family, do a hobby ect. He maybe doing this more b/c you are preg, not knowing what to do.. scared ect. If he is out partying several times a night thats when i say you have a right to say something, copromise with him, tell him I understand the importance of you having your friends and spending time with them. But going out every night is causing me a lot of stress, lets instead make every Fri or every sat or whatever night you BOTH agree to be a night that you do something apart from each other. I think its VERY healty for a relationship, ecspecially one about to have some major changes.

Answer 4

For one thing, he's probably known his friend longer, and if you expect a man to lose his friends for you, yes you are asking too much. Not liking his friend is no reason to tell him he can't hang with him. Now, on the other hand, you are pregnant, and I'm sure a little more short fused than you usually are. But there should be some kind of compromise that you two can come to. He to spend more time with you and still get to hang with his friend. Sit down and aiscuss it..calmly....and tell him thet you don't want to stop him hangin with his friend, you just want him around some more. Don't try to force the man to do anything, don't try to threaten or manipulate the situation either. I promise you to try to change someone is the fastest way to a divorce. Was he hangin with his friend before you met? If so, and you love him for who he was, then why do you want it to change? If you didn't why did you marry him to begin with? Just ask yourself those questions and see where it leads you. All I'm saying is to just try to work it out and be fair and synpathetic, and I think you'll be suprised what you'll get out of him. Good luck!

Answer 5

You should look in the mirror. Why have a baby with someone is is obviously not ready to settle down? You brought this on yourself. You knew who he was when you got married and yet you went ahead and made a poor decision. Is this the type of guy that you think would make a good husband? That would make a good father? Your relationship is going downhill quickly and will only be complicated by having children. All I can say is "good luck" because you will need it. Sorry, but I can not say anything positive. Women need to understand that what you did is wrong.

Answer 6

Some guys want the cake and eat it too! Its typical with guys who have close buddies. Honestly its a hit and miss if they change with a kid on the way some do....some its too late. In this situation my opinion he dont seem to care too much about being there for you because maybe he knows your not going anywhere....his opinion would be you need him and you wont leave because of that. If he is the $$$ in the relationship sometimes they feel like they can do what they want....for you well any woman can raise a kid wiithout a father ....I'm proof, but give him some options and stick to them someone should be the role model for the newcomer in your life who will it be??

Answer 7

Men who love and respect their wives don't! Why not tell him that you know he wants to have boy's night out, but it would be nice if he could keep it down to 1-2 days a week. This way he can spend time with you too. Tell him you are willing to share but you want some time too! If he still does this every night, you must do some soul-searching and decide if a man like this is the example you want your child to learn from. What is more do you want a bunch of drunks around your new-born (Or any other age child)?

Best of Luck I hope he decides that a once-a-week men's night out is enough. If he does remember to stick by it and let him have that night with NO grief!

Answer 8

They just do. You need to talk with him when there is time just between the two of you. You need to tell him that you are not just pregnant but you are starting a "real" family. That he is a part of it, every much as you are. This isn't about a toy or doll that you are going to play with, but this is what will shape you and his family the rest of your lives. Make it about the "event" and not about your pregnancy.

Let him know that you are not just in a situation but you feel as though you are doing this both for him and you so all "three" can grow as a family. And you are scared and you need his support.

Guys don't really get this until they are watching a toddler running around then it dawns on them.

Also, let him know that you don't feel in control. IOW, it is too easy for a guy to think that a woman knows what is happening and she is the one to deal with it. Tell him that you are "creating a baby" and you want him to be a part of it. And that part of it is planning, worring what is happening inside, and giving you support for those times that you need support.

Answer 9

most men are a***h**** well I am sure they like them anyway, always hanging out with their buddies as though the buddy is more important than the wife or gf, guys that have to hang out like this should never marry, I do wonder if he was like that before you got married, did you get any warnings he was a jerk, you need to put your foot down honey, tell him it is either his buddy that is going to do "everything" for him or you, it is his choice,I guess one night a month isn't too bad to go and have a drink, and a weekend a month to go fishing, hunting, speedway what ever he likes, you should not object to that, but not every weekend, wonder how much he does around the house, I presume he does all the cooking, washing, ironing, housework, to make up for spending so much time with his buddy, well you need to clamp down and say NO to everything he wants you to do for him, till he respects you

I am amazed at how many on answers both male and female do not understand that once you are married or in a relationship where a child is concerned or going to be, that both parenats have to forget about the world outside except for work and home life because that child (ren) should be more important than buddies, parties etc,

Answer 10

I think that most men are not intentionally mean or unattentive, they just cannot physically or emotionally comprehend what we think and feel. As you know, we're just not wired the same way.

With that said, it's hardly an excuse for their behavior. Any decent man who cares a fig about his woman would go out of his way to see that her physical and emotional needs are met. If your upfront about and tell him, and he ignores you, then you've got a serious problem.

I can guess that this behavior of his is nothing new, and that being pregnant just makes it more apparent. Usually having children won't help, if anything I would think his behavior would continue or get worse. If you don't say something and make it clear to him, it's shame on you.

Answer 11

Hi,
I am extremely concerned ab out you and I hope you will take care of yourself during this period. You are carrying and you are supposed to have a good mindframe during pregnancy. Your husband may not realise the importance of being with you and taking care, but, please take care of yourself and preserve as happy a mindframe as possible. It is important for you and the baby. I am sure you can do it. Try to avoid arguing with the husband, you know he is like this so leave it, but immerse yourself in things you like or that make you happy. Listen to good music, read if you can, do things that keep you happy. The other things you can worry about after the labour. Hope you will be fine and you will forget all your worries when you see your cute baby...
Take care..