i LOVE my mom. shes 40 and she has 2 children; me(16) and my brother(8). very recently she and my dad divorced and she found another person who made her feel alive again and im sooo happy for her (after the loveless marriage she shared with my dad, she deserves it) but the bad part is, is that this newfound love involves a lot of drinking and late nights. she is the hardest peson to talk to. in three seperate times shes come and said shes sorry for what shes doing, but it never fails, within the next week shes at another bar or party. it hurts so much, its like everytime she says she wont go out, i truley, deeply believe her and everytime i believe her she breaks my heart again. i miss the mom she used to be!!!and i know shes in there, but how can i get her back? why cant she just stay home with me and my brother? should i just get over it? please help me
2007-12-07 16:04:06 · 6 answers · asked by Sabrina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she doesnt have a serious drinking problem. she just does it a bit too much. at her age i think she shouldnt need that to be happy.
i find myself building a wall between us already, alot of the time i just dont want to be around her. i know its wrong but i cant bring myself to forgive her again, why should i? i love her with all my heart. i dont want to live this way, but ive tried to talk to her many of times and nothing is getting through to her
2007-12-07 18:17:41 · update #1
I know your mom loves you very much!!!! It sounds like she broke out of the fence. Going from lonely to feeling like a teenager again. She will begin to see how this hurts you. Right now she may feel alive, and she is having fun, but ask her to take you out to eat, or shopping, because you need time with her too.
2007-12-07 16:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by ladonna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry for your and your brother's situation.
Your mother has regressed back to a teenager or 20-something with her self-destructive behavior. It really sounds that has a serious alcohol abuse problem.
Try to find a responsible adult who can you confide with and try to discuss this with. Do you have a grandparent, aunt or uncle, doctor or clergy person that you can talk to about this?
Your mother is not acting as a responsible adult. For one thing: she is not truthful with you. She could be putting you and your brother in harm, through her neglect. And she should not be putting the burden of parenting on your shoulders.
You might ask at your county department of mental health and see what programs are available for children of parents who abuse alcohol or drugs. Please note that a county social worker might file a case to take you and your brother away from your mother.
Perhaps you should start by telling your mother that if she does not seek professional help about her drinking and she should act as a responsible adult, then the social welfare agency *will* take you and your brother away from her.
2007-12-08 00:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is suffering the end of the marriage and dealing with that in this way. I will give you a website you have to get her to explore, especially the parts dealing with self esteem and divorce, and hopefully that will help her get over the divorce and find someone who will love her for her good qualities rather than the fact that she does to the bars and parties. Good Luck to you and I hope she visits this site and it helps her!!
2007-12-08 01:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know what to say to help your hurting heart. I do hope that she opens her eyes to the pain that she is causing you. My only suggestion would be to pray for her and your family. She is still the same person, she just needs a reality check. Good luck and God bless
2007-12-08 00:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by littleme836 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look. im 17 and that dead honesty. and i went threw some sh!t with my mother when she seperated AND divorced my father in my life..trusssst me. the drinking everything and plus somethings with this guy for years and me tryyyying sooo hard to talk to her. so hun listen. just you gotta sit down and try to your heart to talk to her. you have to. because if you really love your mom first of all you wouldnt let her drink alot and bars and such alot. now. i dont know your mom so i dont know how much and to what point she drinks. but please talk to her before it even gets the chance to become actual drinking and before its to late because trust me. god forbod that happens and it'll b that much harder to get her back. so in answer you have to sit her down andd talk to her. yo ur still young do not let your relationship with your moms get messed up. my ish is ruined because of my mom just not listening and me thinkin ahh just i wont say nothin ill get outa here or just let her do w.e she grown. girl please dont do that talk to her and soon. i really hope this advice helped you cuz that an honeset answer
2007-12-08 00:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by liljerzgurl128 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her a little time if she keeps doing this suggest councelling if she will not go then see the guidence councelor in your school or try to find alanon groups that you may be able to get to
2007-12-08 00:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by inloveinTN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋