I love him and dont understand why he tells me ,cant you see I just fell out of love. help me
2007-12-07 15:32:22 · 16 answers · asked by paul k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
when a man wants out after many years, its because he has someone else he's been cheating with and that other person is giving him ultimatums. as hard as it is u have to face reality and see it for what it is. even though its not fair and hurts horribly its best to let him go because trying to keep someone who says they don't love u will only hurt u more. theres no way to figure it out or make reason out of it, and most important don't blame yourself. when men look back on their lives, and feel as if they have a new chance with someone newer and more exciting they will jump at the chance, and they always tell their spouse they don't love them anymore. its a midlife crisis, where they want to feel young and desired again, and for awhile this new person is fulfilling that need and showing them all they want to see.
2007-12-07 16:06:53 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow...I hate to say this but your husband must have someone on the side. Someone just doesn't decide one day that they want to "move on"....well not after 30 years.
My parents have been married for 38 years. That is just so unreal to me.
They love each other so much, its actually scary how much they love each other. Its scary because I know I'll never find a love like they have. I've been with my partner for years and I know our love will never be like the love my parents have.
We can't all hit the love lottery, but I am glad that my parents did.
I know people will say move on, but it can't be that easy after 30 years. All I can say to you is do what your heart tells you to do. If he wants out then give it to him, he will realize that he had it best with you. Its probably just some home-wrecking monkey girl that will move on in a few months.
Keep your head up and good luck to you.
2007-12-07 15:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by Super PI 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a 62 old male and I still have a high sex drive. I have had an affair many years ago I still battle with the guilt. After battling to overcome the constant urge I Decided to stop but the urge still continues. I Resorted to masturbation but developed a guilt complex. When I started to pray for forgiveness and strength I discovered that although I still have the drive I have managed to overcome the urge to look around and stop masturbating. By the way my wife of 33 years of marriage is still going through menopause and has lost the urge we have spoken about the situation and I have said to her that I will not force myself upon her no matter what and I will remain loyal till the end of my days no matter how hard it becomes. I have learnt a very important lesson to overcome the guilt is worse than not having sex God created sex and it is a beautiful experience and a bonding between a husband and wife. But beware men and women of this earth Satin uses lust of the flesh to destroy relationships and families. Change you way of thinking and pray for strength and wisdom. Romans 12 : 2 Communication is better than rejection and guilt and can save a family and instill values in our children.
2015-07-10 20:07:40 · answer #3 · answered by Glen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, they go through this phase of wanting a younger woman. They are getting old and want to know if some young, good looking stupid chick will want their sorry old butt. The worst thing about it is, that some stupid young chick will go for them for what ever they can get out of them. Watch out for on- line affairs, especially Filipino women. They will tell an old married man, anything he wants to hear and show him anything he wants to see, to try and get money out of him. Their ultimate goal is to get the guy to marry them and bring them to the USA. That way they can get citizenship and as soon as they do they divorce and dump the stupid old man and take everything they can and disappear into the country.
One thing in your favor, if you live in a 50/50 state, you will get half the value of the house, half his retirement and you have been married so long, alimony is mandatory.
They seem to forget to look in the mirror and see what they look like now.
Love is a choice and he promised to stay with you until death do us part.
Unfortunately, men don't have enough blood to run their brain and penis at the same time. You can be garanteed he is cheating on you, or looking real hard to cheat on you.
Don't put up with it. Tell him to get the h*ll out. He is totally disrespecting you. You are just in shock. What you thought was you are finding out real quick isn't. Wake up and see him for what he really is.
He may come around after he plays for a while, but do you really want a cheater back?
2007-12-07 15:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes men go through a similar thing, usually a bit earlier, and usually includes looking for someone or something that makes them feel "young"
Did something recently happen that makes him think he doesn't love you any more?
If he really fell out of love, you need to move on, you've spent enough years with him if thats how he feels
2007-12-07 15:47:57 · answer #5 · answered by vjustmehere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, men do go thru what is called "andropause" the male version of menopause. It causes a lot of the same symptoms that females go thru......mood swings, insomnia, restlessness just to name a few.
He's going thru a "mid life crisis" too. He's trying desperately to re-capture his youth.....but what he fails to realize is that's long gone! He should accept the fact that he's older and has been blessed to live as long as he has.
As far as him falling out of love, women do too....ask him how would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot and he was on the receiving end?
I'm sorry for what you're going thru....I wish you the best.
2007-12-07 15:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by sugarbee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely a mid life crisis. Check out this website for support.... http://www.midlife.com/
You need to learn to stand for your husband and his salvation. Please check out Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp. They have a restored marriage after being divorced for about two years. They have a website and send devotionals everyday encouraging men and women to stand for their marriage and their spouse's salvation. Check out their archives.
https://rejoiceministries.org/devotion.php
I highly recommend that you sign up for Doreen's Devotionals called Doreen's Daily Delights.. These are awesome. http://marriagerestorationministries.org/
Here's another website for people standing for their marriages. There is chat every Friday night. http://www.faithandmarriage.com/
Check out Jimmy and Karen Evans. They have a weekly tv show that discusses marriage. Their shows are on the internet that you can watch. Jimmy is excellent. Jimmy gives very practical guides on how to have a successful marriage. http://www.marriagetoday.org/
Also check out this link concerning divorce and remarriage. I think you will be surprised. Many churches are blinded to the truth and even encourage people to divorce. Satan is tearing the church and marriages apart.
http://www.biblicalresearchreports.com/divorceandremarriage.php#hatedivorce
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-12-07 16:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I agree with the first post. It's not fair, and he is a very selfish person for doing this to you. He's going to do what he is going to do though. Just let him go and know you can hold your head high.
2007-12-07 15:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they go through menopause, my ex fiance had it early in life. They think the grass is greener and generally find out it isn't. Let him leave while you keep your dignity. He will probably come knocking on the door again after he realizes it is a cold cold world out there.
2007-12-07 16:45:49 · answer #9 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is probably seeing someone.
You don't just decide after 30 years that you aren't in love anymore.
It's unfortunate but talking about it with him will only drive him further away from you.
2007-12-07 15:36:43 · answer #10 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋