my husband and i have a deal - i do all the indoor chores and he does all the outdoor ones.
this has worked really well up until the last year. About a year ago he took up a new job which means he works most weekends. And during the week has has two days off in a row e.g. Tuesday and Wednesday.
my husband has taken to "taking a well deserved break" on those days and not done any outdoor chores.
So this year I have planned our wedding (we got married in august) done all the shopping (we used to do this together) and done all the indoor and outdoor chores. Except starting the mower - he starts it for me because I just can't seem to do it!
Now... today we both have the day off work and we are starting our first garden. I am making him shovel all the dirt into the garden.
He is hot and sweaty (and sexy as hell i might add) and i'm here twiddling my thumbs and playing on the computer.
am i a selfish and lazy wife for not helping him?
2007-12-07 15:24:27 · 16 answers · asked by chilly 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are YOU being selfish and lazy? Not at all. You two made a deal - he broke his deal by not doing the outside chores.
The pay off for him to keep him unmotivated? You took over the outside duties INCLUDING keeping up YOUR end of the deal - doing the inside chores.
Keep your end of the deal you made with each other out of respect for that deal.
Again, you are not being lazy. Perhaps you could ask him if he would like a hand. Do not do this out of obligation, or begrudingly. Do it out of compassion and love. Better a cheerful giver as it is more appreciated.
2007-12-07 15:37:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only you can change yourself. I know cheezy answer. I try to live by the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have done to you. Maybe if you take a moment to put yourself in the other persons place before you act. You have to put the effort in to get the results. Asking for help is a wonderful start! You can make a plan and start small, notes to your family, or try saying something nice everyday. Baby steps until you don't even realize you are a changed person. Good Luck!
2016-05-22 02:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by myung 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say not.
You said that you have been doing the majority of the household chores and taking care of your wifely duties.
Unless he is complaining about you not helping him, I think you are entitled to a well deserved break as well.
2007-12-07 15:29:49 · answer #3 · answered by cece1007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope not at all....but maybe one of those days hes off he could cut the lawn he did it before on the two day sat/sun before so it really the same just different days...if he'll do the garden then he'll do the yard as well..just talk to him while hes sweaty and sexy as hell
2007-12-07 15:50:26 · answer #4 · answered by osu0001@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1- Shopping is not work for females, ya all love doing this, therefore it is more like a vacation for you.
2- when you said "we are starting our first garden" that mean "YOU "are starting "YOUR" first garden, because we (men) never want a stupid garden, thanks good for Walmart they have good tomatoes. If you want a garden.. it is fine... but since it is yours you should do the work yourself
so yes you are selfish and lazy wife, hopefully not to lazy to give him what he wants... Food, sex and silence.
Thank you
2007-12-07 15:33:22 · answer #5 · answered by Bone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to help, help him, you might actually enjoy it! If you don't want to help, make him a nice lunch and a nice cool drink then both have lunch together to discuss what you're going to plant in this new garden!
2007-12-07 15:31:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your not... let him continue doing the outside chores and any else you can get him to do..because if you take those responsibilities from him now good luck trying to get him to do them when your to tired or you guys have a family,, of course you can go out and help him but don't tell him no Honey i will do it ...
2007-12-07 15:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by chica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shoot! No girl! I don't blame you. Make him get his butt out there, then maybe reward him with some "sexy time" later for being a good boy. Hee, hee!
2007-12-07 15:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well youve mentioned that the two of you had a deal so its up to you if you want to help him or not but its not being selfish as long as you do your job as well
2007-12-07 15:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by snakie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but you're plenty weird.
I am sorry but it is sort of pre-schoolish to set aside certain chores for grown people to do.
2007-12-07 15:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋