Do you think there is a "happiness gene"? And some people just dont have it?

Question

A friend of mine had been bitching his head off because he cant find a good paying job. He was just offered $60 K a year plus free housing ! He is currently working for less than $36K a year. Is he happy about it? Hell no, he has had one long pity party about it, saying it probably wont work out, he is sure the people he has to work with will be jerks, he doesnt think he will like living there, in fact he is sure he will hate it --

He has a very sweet and loving wife, she said to him "please look at the positive side, this could and will probably be just what you have been wishing for ! We can get back on our feet financially, we will all be together, you, me and the kids. I am sure you will make some nice new friends, and its what you wanted in terms of the job you will be doing - I think its a wonderful opportunity and we should be thanking God, I am SO happy for you! You deserve it" or words to that effect.

What did he say? Stop your bloody nagging & constantly bashing at me

Then he starts ragging on her about how she cant stop nagging him and telling him what to do all the time and he is tired of her mindless blabbering and to leave him the hell alone ..

She has left him before because of this 24/7 pity party he has for himself. I think she should kick his sorry *** to the curb, sue for spousal and child support and find someone who at least knows how to smile once in awhile.

People like this are emotional blood suckers IMO

Oh yah thats working only four days a week too and every weekend is going to be a "long weekend". I would think I had died and gone to heaven and would be on my knees thanking God

I think its so sad, so many people have so little, he has excellent health, is in very good shape for someone in his 50's. And he is always bitter, not just seeing the negative side but making sure everyone hears about it too. He is spiteful and mean towards anyone who is happy about anything, his wife, his kids, anyone, wouldnt it be great if genetic engineering could tweak our genes ?

sorry those of you who are winking, I am a single lady - kids are long grown, I live on my own - and wouldnt mind landing someone with a good job like that but -- sometimes a friend is just that, a friend -- or a son, or a son in law, or someone, but I am not married. And I am not a sweet wonderful person 24/7 either. :-)

I was there to hear the conversation though - and it made me angry, a lot of people struggle with so much less.

Answer 1

What if there was a condition that made people intensely happy, yet socially awkward?

It's the question raised by one of the most mysterious phenomena known to science: Williams syndrome, a condition in which the areas of the brain that process hearing are more rich in connections than a normal brain, resulting in people who can socialize and hear music better than others, but have problems dealing with everyday interactions.

While people with Williams syndrome have smaller brains than average, studies have shown that they experience sound — like music and language — more intensely than the rest of the population. They also tend to be incredibly sociable.

When you interact with a person with Williams syndrome, there's an obviously gregariousness that is so dramatic that you cannot not notice it. It's something about their brain that when music comes in it goes through pathways, it creates reactions and it has an effect on them.

According to Allan Reiss, a neuroscientist at Stanford University's medical school, Williams occurs when there is a loss of about 20 genes on one of the human chromosomes, but it is usually not hereditary.

It's due to the loss of those genes in either the sperm or the egg,but it's typically not passed on from father or mother to child, except in rare conditions.

According to Allan Reiss, a neuroscientist at Stanford University's medical school, Williams occurs when there is a loss of about 20 genes on one of the human chromosomes, but it is usually not hereditary.

"It's due to the loss of those genes in either the sperm or the egg," he said, "but it's typically not passed on from father or mother to child, except in rare conditions."

According to Allan Reiss, a neuroscientist at Stanford University's medical school, Williams occurs when there is a loss of about 20 genes on one of the human chromosomes, but it is usually not hereditary.

"It's due to the loss of those genes in either the sperm or the egg," he said, "but it's typically not passed on from father or mother to child, except in rare conditions."

A person that Williams syndrome gravitates toward people, always eager to make them happy.

Most kids with Williams are the first ones to say to someone, 'Do you need a hug? Do you know what I mean? Are you having a bad day?'" They intuitively know those things.

Some doctors speculate that Williams syndrome may be linked with autism, another disorder characterized by problems with socialization. By studying Monkaba and others with Williams, Reiss thinks doctors could uncover new ways to treat autism and other social conditions.

Williams might provide a little window of understanding into human social behavior that will help us be a little more creative in designing new treatments for people with autism or disorders like that.

Find out more about Williams syndrome at http://www.williams-syndrome.org/

Answer 2

Yes, I think people are definitely born with the happy gene.Life is full of choices, and no matter how hard some people try, they can never be happy or satisfied.I work with a couple guys just like the guy you described.They also complain how their wives never want to have sex anymore. I asked them if they are as grumpy at home as they are at work.When they answered yes, I told them that was the reason they weren't getting what they wanted.A person can only put up with that behavior for so long. It is toxic.

Answer 3

Awesome question that could be answered from many different angles.
Invironment vs genetics? -probably a combination
Family interactions- iI'll bet he gives his wife the most flack because she allows it-co-dependant?

One thing for sure-he doesn't feel gratitude--- which is the ability to see what you have instead of what you don't have.
It's a difficult thing to watch isn't it?
I've known people like this as well and they're miserable indeed.


Blessings Juju

Answer 4

Maybe he lacks self confidence and self esteem. Some people make themselves victims by nay saying THEMSELVES.
Maybe he is worried about being up to scratch and would rather make all those negative comments to find reasons not to accept the new job,
Try a little reassurance and ignore the negative comments.
QX

Answer 5

Yes, definately....some people reagardless of how raised, are pessimistic, and some are optimistic. Personality is genetic to a very large extent. And I am afraid that those born with the pessimist's gene are at a disadvantage in life....and it is a matter of energy....we only have so much..if you choose to spend your energy on negative things, negative things will fill your life...not a smart decision. Phil

Answer 6

I didn't read all that, but I think some people are just predisposed to being not happy. Maybe it's hereditary. I come from a long line of stoic Norwegians. So I'm not the happiest kid on the block.

Answer 7

It appears to me that this man is a victim of "fear of success" syndrome. That's my name for it.

This is something that happens to a lot of people and the feeling intensifies as we age. It really is a fear and the only way they have to cope with is by disparagement.

A bit of counseling could help, however, most don't want to accept the fact that it's a reality in their lives and, therefore, won't do counseling.

It's a sad situation.

Answer 8

well i feal pity for him that he cant see the good things about this job and i dont understand why he at least doesnt give it a shot. Ow and just so say dont relate to yourself as a freind :) you gave to many details and rantings but i would say tough it out at least for your friends kids sake. More than half of all U.S. marriages become devources she doesnt need to add more to the list your friend has comitted herself to her husband by marrying him that means for the better and the worst. tell your friend good luck and i hope every thing turns out well

Answer 9

I think there are definitely people who can see the up side of anything ... I am like that most times ... a real Pollyanna. My husband is just the opposite. Funny thing ... my daughter is exactly like my husband, and my son is exactly like me when it comes to our outlook on life. Gotta be the genes!

*hey ... my husband is norwegian ... maybe that's it!

Answer 10

That is a very sad scenario. Sounds like this guy has some serious issues and will never be "happy".
If I were his wife, he would have been history long ago.
What a pessimist!!! :(((