why would someone never want to have children?

Question

I want a mature, logical answer to why there are people out there who honestly never want children. I always assume these people are either selfish and immature or in denial. but why would someone who is mature and giving HONESTLY not want to ever have kids?

Answer 1

I would say there are a huge number of reasons out there why someone who is mature and giving honestly not want to ever have kids! First off, having kids is a HUGE life change and they may not want to go through it because their lives will never be the same again! Scientifically speaking, if they never have kids they have really never let down a future child of theirs . . . so there is less guilt involved with not having them to begin with (although if your religious views differ than circumstances might be different.) Another thought might be that they might come from a troubled family and feel personally that they do not want to continue their bloodline (if having children naturally) or they do not want to have their children face growing up without a great extended or immediate family (can also be for adopting children).

Another reason might include that they feel as though financially it might be not only very troublesome but very irresponsible to try and raise a child without the proper finances to back the child and the rest of the family up. (Let's face it, having a child costs A LOT until they are able to start seriously paying for themselves). Another reason might include that they feel as though they may be a giving and kind person, that they do not have the skills to truly raise a child well or to deal with the behavior children exhibit.

I could list more, but I guess that was just a bit of an example (don't want to kill your eyeballs :P). I do not deny that their are selfish and immature people out there when it comes to having kids, but I would argue that most of them actually have put a lot of thought into it and are probably saving a child some huge heartache and trouble if they are not able to properly care for them (and it is not like it is all that bad that the population doesn't go up even one more person . . . because it is pretty high as it is!) I would in fact assert that the ones who are selfish/immature and in denial about child-raising are the ones that have unprotected sex and ditch the child as soon as it "pops out" or raise it in an extremely poor environment that in turn can end up greatly affecting the society :)!

Hope that was perhaps along the line of the type of answer you were looking for :)!

Answer 2

They witnessed familys that did not work out.... Our lives are just a fanticy before the real thing happens. I was in disbelief when I met people that did not want children. Then I had one. Now I unserstand not everyone wants to bace their whole life on a child. Especially an only child that is spoiled and unappreciateive. but the day will come when you are not satisfied with your child or your spouce. Life changes daily and not every day is perfect. some people just know that they could not take the caouse or dramma involved in raising a family.

Answer 3

this is abit late obviously but as one of the women who wants no kids you can rest assured face to face i would get visibly quite annoyed when attacked with statements like that, and that goes for the rest of you idots too here. just because i want no children does not mean i am selfish. in fact i love children very much, so much in fact that a part of me would feel guilty for bringing them in to this evil world. I simply just dont want the responsibility and dont want to have to have everything revolve around them and i want to be able to pay attention to my partner and my work, because i am very mate oriented. i also dont want to deal with the physical burden. barely being able to deal with PMS and severe pain during mesturation is also a major discourager. i DARE you to call me selfish to my face for that. Those reasons are not selfish at all compared to bringing a child into the world and NOT caring for them. The human race isnt going extinct anytime soon either. not every humans "bio clock"ends up chiming, and if you wanna complain about that being unnatural then that is just about unnatural as getting a tattoo or a vaccine or shaving your legs even. Learn to try to understand people first before going off attacking them and judging them for something they probably have a good reason for.

Answer 4

Hi there! From a woman who never wants children, and a girl who's sister and fiancé who are both in the same boat (crazy, right?)- here is my reply!

To be completely honest, there are many reasons why some people don't want kids. Myself being one, and also who's known quite a few who are in similar situations, here is my response as to my reasons why children just aren't in the picture:

1. The toll it takes on the body. I'm an extremely squeamish person to begin with when it comes to doctors and blood, but honestly, the idea of a living creature inside the stomach makes me cringe. Even the fact that it would be my own living child wouldn't make a difference. I've talked to a person who's son was in a similar situation. He was honestly repulsed by the idea of a living being inside wife. It was strange, but to him it was the same as with me- like an alien was living in his wife's belly. The thought might be strange to most people, it is to some a legitimate fear.

2. The cost. Ask anyone who doesn't want kids. Even if their at the prime age to be getting married and having kids, it's hard enough nowadays to pay off those student loans, secure your parents a nice place to retire to, and look after yourself as well. Add another mouth to feed and things become that much harder. And not just the cost of money. The toll it takes on time as well. The time away from a job, maybe even a pause for a great career or life dream. This is not selfishness in any means. Everyone has a path and purpose in life, and sometimes that life is not one with children. To say the least, people can be selfish and have kids or not; personality is rarely the indicator of who should be a parent or who should lead a child-free life. Even the mother of mother's day (Anna Jarvis) never married nor had children.

3. Simply an impartiality towards children. I can honestly say, I grew up in a healthy environment, with a loving dad and a mom who would cook dinners every night (and still does). And I have two older sisters that I love, both close to my age, and one married. So I have no childhood horror stories beyond silly sibling rivalries. My mother worked as a preschool teacher while I was growing up, so I was used to hearing about little Angie being an angel or little Billy getting in trouble (btw, nothing against the name). In my high school years I would volunteer at the preschool on off days. Around then was when I began to realize that children just weren't for me. I have nothing against children, I just find working around them emotionally and physically draining. And don't get me started on when they begin to scream. Perhaps my introverted personality is not up for children. Toddlers just seemed to be a nightmare to me most days.

4. Settling in one place. I have yet to find a happy family that moves a great deal. For my work I don't sit still in one place, and have many numerous friends across the country. And not saying it's not possible, but rather I don't think I personally would be the best mother and travel at the same time. Who really want's their child to live the gypsy lifestyle, moving from city to city every other year?

For me, children are not evil, nor do I find that its a matter of putting selfishness or work ahead of humanity and love. I like seeing other people with children, and feel that if it's right, that's great for them. But one of my own? No thank you. People say I'm nice and would be an ideal, but I know myself the best; my dreams and my reality don't follow that course. Children are just not meant for me.

(P.S. Sorry this has been so long. Oh and one last thing. If I do acquire a handsome amount of wealth, maybe one day I'll adopt or sponsor a teenager that has a dream their aspiring to. To me, the world is full of great people already, and I don't need to add one more to see great dreams come true. To me, many of my friends I consider family, and I consider the life ahead of me blessed because I know so many wonderful people who I've come to love over the years.)

As a final word in response to some of the responses I've read, please be kind. Every person is a gift from God, and everyone has a purpose in life. If a person chooses to have children or not is their choice, and that ought to be respected. So, as Jesus once stated so eloquently: "Who shall be the first to throw the stone?" Words can be the most powerful weapon a person owns, so please be mindful!

Answer 5

Maybe they had a bad childhood and it scarred them. Or something happened to them that was life treating. SO they don't want to go through that again. Or maybe they came from a big family and had to take care of there siblings growning up and they don't what any kids. IT may sound sad but every ones different.

Answer 6

I know a friends of mine. She says kids just aren't for her. I think it's weird but also there are so many problems today, health problems and such, that it is so scary to try to raise a child in this day and age.

Answer 7

Do you have kids? I have 3. if someone dnt want to have kids then that is fine. I dnt think there is anything wrong with not having kids. I knw i dnt want my kids to have kids the world is geting to bad and i dnt want my love one to be in the world having to go throw all the bad things that are happing and soon will get very very bad. If you knw what i mean.

Answer 8

there are many reason why someone may chose to never have children.
Whatever the reason may be at least they are not bringing children into this world when they obviously don't want them.
For that people should be glad and not judgemental

Answer 9

Your question means nothing to me.I cant imagine donating sperm to make a childe. I CANT have sex with males because the mere thought of heterosexual copulation disgusts me.My body cant make babies.And all you want to do is overpopulate our planet.

Answer 10

Because they don't want to add to the word overpopulation problem?

Because they don't want to bring an innocent child into an evil world?

Because they don't think they can balance working and raising kids?

Because they can't have them and don't want you to know that?

Because they just don't want kids, why do they have to answer to you?