I met a nice girl, and after dating a few times she let me know she had children. I was a little upset by finding out, but we get along fine, so I can deal with it.
Here is the issue...I have chosen not to have a relationship with her children. I've let her know that I feel uncomfortable playing "daddy" to another mans children, and prefer when we do spend time together her kids go to her brothers house so we can just be together.If she can't find a babysitter- I make plans for another night.
She told me that was OK- but lately she has been in bad moods alot, and I think she thinks I will change, but I won't. Is there any way to make this relationship work? I feel bad because everything else is our relationship is perfect- but I feel I don't deserve to have to live in another mans shadow and see his face on theirs everyday.
2007-12-07 13:02:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, but if you are dating a women with kids, you are going to have to have a relationship with the kids too. That's the only way it's going to work.
2007-12-07 13:19:29 · answer #1 · answered by Dan H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You never mentioned the role their father plays here...Is he seeing his children on a regular basis? did he split?
I think she needs to define what role she needs you to play in their lives and you have to decide if you can accept it.
I do understand where youre coming from carrying someone else's respnsibility but if their dad is a schmuck then I think you can and should have a limited connection with them for their sake so there is a male role model in their lives..Its really up to you and its up to her to be straight with you about what she wants from you in the relationship and where you would fit in with her kids. Even though the rest of it is okay its a very important decision to make on your end...
2007-12-07 13:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by kindablue99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU DAMN RIGHT THAT SET BACK THE RELATIONSHIP BUT YOU MUST KNOW THAT A MOTHER WILL NOT CHOOSE A WOMEN OR MEN OVER HER KIDS SO PRETEND TO LIKE THEM HELL EVEN LOVE THEM DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP HER ASK YOUR SELF THAT QUESTION IS SHE WROTH IT HEY WHO KNOWS YOU MIGHT JUST END UP FALLING IN LOVE WITH THE KIDS YOU CANT BLAME THEM FOR THERE PARENTS MISTAKE
2007-12-07 13:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by lilmamafye 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but I think you gotta take the whole package. It's probably time for you to move on.
2007-12-07 13:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by jasbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone else if you can't deal with her kids also.
2007-12-07 13:10:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋