My husband goes to work everyday while I'm at home with our 4 month old. He leaves at 8am and gets home at 6:30pm is it selfish of me to ask him to deal with her when he gets home like feed her and change her and hold her????? I mean I do need a little bit of a break he doesn't get up with her at night or anything.....please help?!?!
2007-12-07 12:38:51 · 15 answers · asked by shanine r 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
No it is not too much but there is a way to go about it. Don't just put her in his lap and say here she is your duty now. Ask him to do little things.
Example:
Hey Hunny, would you mind feeding *name* ?
2007-12-07 12:43:59 · answer #1 · answered by Mommafig 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am A Stay @ home mom too. I am have the same problem When my son was a newborn till now. He is 1 Yr. I am also 32 weeks pregnant. I have a hard time with my son. My husband went to work from 5 am -4 pm. Came home and wanted nothing to do with my son. @ least he would wash all the bottles I used with in the day, but that's basically it. He wanted to rest. So he did. I was up all night and day with OUR son. Well I started going crazy getting really irritated, and agitated easily. That's when he figured I'd had enough & was going crazy. So THEN he would help. It's still that way till this day. Every now and then I tell him I need a break & ask him if he can help me more. Well it works for like maybe a week then everything goes back the way it was. He never tells me stuff like I am home doing nothing all day b/c he knows better. I just wished he's help more. I guess that's what every mom wants. So I basically have no advice. Ask him to help you more. Hopefully he does. But expect him to forget about the help in a week or so
2007-12-08 03:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by Monique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol well im not actually a stay at home mom but we just had our second child on nov 25th. The saturday following that we were arguing because my partner wanted to watch football and we only have cable in one room right now so I said fine keep the baby and our 3 year old and I will go out. I went into the bedroom to get dressed and heard the baby crying for a while but just ignored it since he was supposed to be handling it. About 15 minutes later he admitted he didnt even know where to find a bottle. It's kind of sad that i dont think he's changed a diaper and really only spends time with her when I bring her to him but it definitely gets better. My partner takes our 3 year old son everywhere with him. I think for him at least the baby is so little he's just a little intimidated but as they get bigger and can do more I know he will do more with her since he really really wanted a girl. About the time he asked me what it was I had been doing all day I realized he really had no clue and it may be better that way since if he knew how hard it was he may say no more kids.
2007-12-07 21:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all!!! After all he IS the father. I strongly believe that a father and baby need time together, even alone time for an hour or so every day. I know he's been working, but then again so have you. I have a GREAT partner, from day one he has changed nappies, bathed her, fed her(when she ate solids), put her to bed. Pretty much done everything I do. At the start he would even get up with me during the night and help burp her and put her back to bed. Even though he had to work early in the morning. On the other hand my sisters partner (don't get me wrong he's a fantastic loving dad) but never even changed a nappy until she was about 1 year old. The same with bathing her. He was to scared, saying that his hands were to big and clumsy,lol. Good luck.
2007-12-07 21:23:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
give your husband time to rest when he gets home..you both are working and you both need time to rest. Its stressful on a guy to come home and have more work to do..like no kinda break..just let him breath for an hour or two then let him spend time with your baby. He/She doesnt have to be carried all day long so leaving baby in a play pen when he gets home is fine..while you both can rest together. after that, he could take over while you do what u have to do till its bed time.
2007-12-07 21:56:04 · answer #5 · answered by andres momma<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's kind of funny because you are in the exact situation I'm in. I have a four month old and my boyfriend works while I stay home. He seems to get upset when he gets home because I want him to take care of our baby while I rest. But you have to realize that he needs time to rest too. Just give him an hour or so before handing over the mommy duties to daddy.
2007-12-07 21:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by Damon's mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember, you are working all day too, so it is not unreasonable for you to ask your husband to spend some time with her. My husband leaves around 6:30 am, returns home at 6:30pm or later...I always give him our son to play with at night before he goes to bed. My husband enjoys it, so hopefully, yours will too!
2007-12-07 20:50:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't really connect with their children until they can at least walk.
They are terrified of hurting them or damaging them somehow....and the child seems like a burden until they are older.
Men are also afraid to deal with their daughters, due to the possible accusations of "impropriety" that they are so vulnerable to.
Encourage your hubby to get on the floor & play with your daughter...or have a big "pile-in-bed" time for all 3 of you after dinner & before her bedtime.
Some of my best memories with my (grown) sons will always be when they'd wake early & pile into bed with me & dad...lots of tickling, peek-a-boo, bouncing, and belly blowing.
It's probably why they are still so close to me (even though we are divorced).
2007-12-07 20:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't matter if he works or not he needs to help out with the baby granted he's tired from working all day you shouldn't just throw him the baby and watch tv for the rest of the night but he has to share in the duties. have a talk with him let him know you are tired too.
2007-12-07 21:28:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♥klove♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem opening up and asking my hubby to help too.I think it's great that you start now.Just give him time to relax and then say "sweetie could you feed/change baby while I ...,"I'm sure he may be a bit nervous but he's a new daddy,give him time.(I'm late in the game because our daughters already 3 now.)Good luck to you and remember to take time for you:)Congrats!
2007-12-07 21:10:48 · answer #10 · answered by superstar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The average American father spends 14 minutes a day alone with their child under the age of 2, after 2 it on goes up to 27 minutes. You aren't alone, and yes, it sucks. Good luck with that.
2007-12-07 21:07:44 · answer #11 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋