The situation : I am a Step-father of a 5 yr old boy. My wife was not married to the father of the child and left him (with her son living with her) when the child was 1yr old. I met my wife just after she left the father of the child and have been with her and the child ever since. The father has threatened to take us to court to take full custody of his son. (we have a joint custody agreement now where the father sees his son every Wed. and every other weekend). The father has been complaining that he is going to take us to court for the last 2-3yrs (for what reasons he wont tell us). The father is never on time (30-40minutes late most time) to pickup/drop off his son with no phone calls letting us know. I was 1hr late dropping him off today(my step son was on the toilet, and then we were held back by a train). He was really pissed and and is filing papers on Monday. What would he have have to do to win full custody(he has a good lawyer) and do you think he would win?
2007-12-07
11:06:47
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13 answers
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asked by
webnerd
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
He does pay child support, but for only one of his jobs (He lied and said he only had one when they first went through this several years ago). I personally think that he cant do anything in court except make himself pay more money. We are always on time and if we are late we always call (this time being the exception because of my frustration with his inability to make a phone call when he is late.. which is 85%of the time) We dont have money for a lawyer, so i dont really know what to do.
2007-12-07
11:28:45 ·
update #1
And i do have several videos of late drop off/ pickup times from when he has threatened us before.
2007-12-07
11:29:43 ·
update #2
You don't have to worry about a thing. Unless you and your wife are drug addicts, junkies, alcoholics, have anger managment problems, simply have no means or method of caring for your child, or are a danger to your child in any way... you and your wife will continue to maintain custody of your son. Trust me. Just be sure that anytime the father has visitation, take notes! write down everything.... times, dates, where he went with your child, the report he gave you, the responce your son has when you drop him off/pick him up. Take notes! it may come handy in a family court situation where child custody/visitation is involved. Be sure though to continue to do things right. If you are usually always on time to drop off/pick up your son from visitation with his father, simply being late once isn't going to hurt you... especially if you had a good reason for it. Make sure though that you give the father a call to let him know if you or your wife are going to be late for whatever reason. Just to save yourself from future crap. But don't worry. As long as it suits the best interests of your child to remain with his mother and yourself, then you will be fine. Don't worry so much about it, just try to follow the rules.
2007-12-07 11:22:20
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answer #1
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answered by Intrigued 2
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God love ya... Get ready. The custody and child support thing is beyond ridiculous. She will get custody, you will get every other weekend and maybe one overnight during the week for visitation, and this will likely only occur after they are no longer infants, because apparently infants can only be with the mom at all times. And you may as well get used to paying child support because that's the way it's going to be. The law sees you as a weekend babysitter with a checkbook and that's about all. There have been for years father's rights groups who are trying to get the default custody order to 50/50 between the parents. They seem to be making progress slowly, but you are still going to experience a lot of the injustice that comes with the current laws. In short there is very little if anything that you can do about it. She has all the power, she will have all the money, and you will find that most people think it should be that way because they have never experienced it first hand. Good luck with everything. Wish I could help more.
2016-05-22 01:59:44
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answer #2
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answered by ? 3
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The only way that he can win is if he can prove that your wife is an unfit mother. He can keep you in court, though, spending money and making you crazy. It sounds like he is jealous of you and so is trying to make your life miserable. He may not want your wife back but he doesn't want you there either. You need to get a lawyer so that your interests are protected. Write on a calendar every time that he is late, how late he was and whether he called or not. That way you can show a track record of what he has been doing. Also write down the dates that he has threatened you with court. This will be reviewed by the judge and show that he is unstable and unreliable. Call your state bar association to get some names of reliable lawyers that handle family law and that are reasonable with their prices. You can find a good one at a cheaper rate that way. Good Luck
2007-12-07 11:14:48
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answer #3
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answered by firemouse23 5
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A lot depends on what state you are living in. I am going through a familiar situation with my step son and this is rather ironic that you are going through this the same time I am. There is not much that he can do as far as to get custody from you entirely. Most judges are very motherly in each state, meaning that most of them side with mom's in most situations. The best thing for you to do is the keep a journal a the times that he is late, his temperment, etc. If you have nothing to hide then I would not worry about what he can file against you both. He needs to be able to prove that you and your wife are unfit to the child and if he can not prove that then there is really nothing to do in the legal system. The only thing that he can really do to be a major pain in the you know is run up legal charges as far as cost. That just causes a lot of back and forth and money to drain from your pockets. Does he pay child support? If you need to talk you can email me or send me any messages. I am on board with what you are going through...good luck to you and don't worry.
2007-12-07 11:16:00
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answer #4
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answered by Eastcoast beachgirl 3
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The father being late picking up and dropping off is a moot point. If that is all you have you have nothing. The non-custodial parent always has the right to go to court for sole custody of the child(ren). That is one of the drawbacks of being involved with someone who has "baggage".
2007-12-07 13:27:40
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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If he says he is going to be filing for the last 2- 3 years and hasnt, chances are he wont on Monday either, after such time i couldnt see any grounds that they the court would be removing the child, it wouldnt be in his best interest to do so.
2007-12-07 11:15:25
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answer #6
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answered by smileyone 3
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i just got divorce my ex had an afffair.If he is a good father and pays child support on time.he will get 50/50 custody, 7 on and 7 off. if you do get papers from his lawyer.ask him what he wants,maybe give him an extra day during the week. this will save the both of parients a lot of money going to court.
2007-12-07 11:14:03
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answer #7
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answered by snowman 2
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If you can't afford a lawyer apply for legal aid. I don't think he would be able to take him off you and your wife. See a chamber magistrate and ask questions, do a round of all the solicitors who give you the first 20-30 mins for free.
2007-12-07 12:50:48
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answer #8
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answered by Alwyn C 5
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I highly doubt it. Just make sure you and your wife retain a good lawyer yourselves just to cover your bases. As long as you provide a good and safe home for the boy, the custody arrangement shouldn't change. He would have to prove you or your wife unfit. And that's incredibly hard to do.
2007-12-07 11:16:23
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answer #9
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answered by Kathy R 5
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With the "facts" that you have provided us, no, you are not going to win.
Your best bet at this point is to get yourselves a good attorney and document everything!
Good luck.
2007-12-07 11:12:39
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answer #10
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answered by box of rain 7
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