lack of trust?

Question

would say this a lack of trust?

two people are married they have their own individual financial business as well as jointly. if the wife is trying to handle her own business and dosen't share it with her husband. is that wrong? is that saying that she does not trust her husband?

Answer 1

Are you a Christian? Because if you are I can give you the biblical answer which is yes, she's not trusting you and NO, she isnt supposed to be doing that. I can tell you that as head of household you and your wife are supposed to be in agreement about things. You have the final say. (thats biblical)

If you live by secular standards then there is no 'right or wrong' anymore...people just do what they want and if it ends up in divorce, so be it.

Which way do you want to live?

Answer 2

I have never understand that but again I am old. If it is a "woman needs to establish credit" thing I can almost buy into that but husbands and wives fighting over which bill gets paid out of which account I don't and keeping things hidden I really don't. If you want to do it set an amount you can afford to have extra and split that but I would keep a joint account to pay the joint bills out of.
For one to hide "their finances" from the other is not a good sign and I would honestly say it is not going well or one is spending it on something one shouldn't. If she gets in financial straits with her money it really doesn't matter that it is her account because they will come after the joint assets and the husbands. It is either a lack of trust or something is going on that they want kept secret.

Answer 3

When I went to college, I brought my text book with me and followed along with the professor. This does not mean I do not trust the professor. While a worship service is not a college class, however part of what goes on is teaching. The minister preaches the Word of God and I am to learn it and apply it. I carry my Bible so that I can follow along and also to give a fuller sense of the passage. I carry my Bible so that I can underline, or write notes in the margins. I carry my Bible so that I can ask questions of the minister afterwords. I carry my Bible, because I love the Bible. I would like to add one more thing. What stood out when I was a Catholic is that we never carried a Bible to church, and we did not have Bibles in the pews. It was only when I started to compare the church's beliefs with the scriptures I understood the Word of God was not being preached there. While we are to highly trust a minister, we are not to have *implicit* faith in any man, but only in God. EDITED: I suggest that you should read Psalm 119. A sample, Psalm 119:97 "O how love I thy law! it is my meditation all the day." A person can love Jesus and love the Bible, they are not opposed to each other, but complementary. EDITED: Thank you for asking. When I get around to it, I will post it. The worship of inanimate objects should be every Christian's concern. As you can see I post very few questions - I am more inclined to answer questions.

Answer 4

I dont think so, necessarily.

My husband and I made the decision to completely share our finances, both because its practical and as a symbol of the two of us being one complete unit for the rest of our lives.

But that doesnt work for everyone and thats okay. Sometimes people grew up like that and its natural to them. Sometimes theyve seen someone who has been taken advantage of or had that happen to them, like a spouse stealing from them. Sometimes they've seen or experienced relationship abuse and need to keep their finances separate.

While these sound like trust issues, they may be or may not be. She may openly say she doesnt trust him-then it obviously is. But if she says she does, then maybe she doesnt and wont say it, but maybe she does. But sometimes wounds go pretty deep. I've known some people who have separate finances their whole lives, and Ive known some whove done it for several years until they decided to combine, whenever they were BOTH ready.

There can be a lot of reasons for this, but I would assume that, short of a husband demonstrating that he is untrustworthy or having significant debts, etc., the need for a woman to have her money separate is probably more reflective of something in her rather than in the relationship. And I think thats okay. And bear in mind that she may not even know why she needs to have it separate, but that doesnt mean there isnt a perfectly valid reason there.

Answer 5

You are living your life based on assumptions. Sit down and talk to your wife. Ask for some clarity on her boundaries concerning work/business and ethics. By having a clear understanding of where your boundaries are for the both of you, you will not be left questioning her integrity to the extent you are now. This is something that you both neglected to explore before you started a business together, so now you have to go back and address it. Once you are aware of each others boundaries and expectations, you will leave the door open for further discussion, should behaviors or patterns change down the road. You can only deal with what you know.

Answer 6

If they both have individual businesses as well as the joint one, why is it only the woman who's lacking trust when she wants to control her own? Does he "share" his business with her too?
Has he done anything in the past to indicate that he wouldn't be responsible if he had access to her money too? Has he lost money, made bad investments, or choices, that have required her to bail his business out? Does he gamble, do drugs, go on spending sprees, or something else that might indicate he wouldn't be in control of his spending? Has he cheated in the past? She could be looking to securing her own support in case he leaves her. In either case it could well be a matter of lack of trust.
Or is he really good at business and she just wants the opportunity to do this for herself - to sink or swim on her own merits? To make something of it by herself?
If the first is the case, then he needs to look to his own habits that need fixing. If its the second, then why not let her try it on her own, while letting her know that his expertise is available if she wants to call on it?

Answer 7

off course not
she is a business woman
nothing to do with trusting her husband
she can love her husband but seek business help some where else.

you are mixing things

Answer 8

Maybe not, if she already had the business and is doing it without your help, maybe she just wants to succeed on her own. Nnothing wrong with that as long as you are a confident person. If you aren't, look into help with it. And talk to her about it too. Might clear up a lot of things.

Answer 9

Well, really it depends on how you two have agreed to handle finances within your marriage. There is nothing wrong with having separate finances and accounts at all. The real question is, why do you feel untrusted...or untrustworthy?

Answer 10

No, it doesn't mean she doesn't trust her husband...

It means she prefers to work by herself, perhaps you don't work so well together - just like you aking this assumption.

Just back off and give her a break.

Joy to you!