can you cheer me up?!?

Question

life is kinda sucky right now, and i was wondering if you could make things just a little bit better?

LMAF! Drizzt Prince of the Universe, that is hilarious xD

Answer 1

Giving Pets Pills
A quick discussion on this delicate process CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to partner's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning loves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.

DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

Answer 2

I'll try to give you some advice...remember that life is a gift. more likely than not you live in the USA and have an opportunity to be or do anything you want. do things that make you happy and always stay positive no matter what happens. you can't change the past but can make the future better than ever. I pray for you and hope all is well and remember to keep your head up and try to stay away from excess drug usage and alcohol use.

Answer 3

There lots of cheers: initiate with "Glory to God in maximum ..." God does no longer choose cheers, we do. this is the "we" which you're cheering on. as an occasion, Paul makes his factor utilising atheltic kit. Pslams tell different cheers David sang to Saul.

Answer 4

Think of cuddling the cutest little baby animal you have ever seen. Seriously, life can always be worse.Think of some one a lot less fortunate than you.
It's a beautiful rainy day in California!!!

Answer 5

Don't worry. Life is always sucky! Cheer up, I'm sure things will get better!

Answer 6

Sorry ur life is goin right! Iv ben feelin lyk that 2. Heres a BIG HUG! It makes me sad wen othr ppl r sad so u HAV to get happy! =D

Answer 7

Sure, you could be me. I have lung disease, diabetes, acid reflux, and several other maladies...but, am I sitting on yahoo whining? NO...I am preparing to move to MO. to go to college at 59 years of age. It does one no good to sit and mope cause there are others worse off than you.

Answer 8

hey. if you want to email me then i'll listen and offer you the advice i can give you for whatever's happening. but for now id simply suggest trying to forget whatever's getting you down and taking life as it comes. if you dont want to email me i understand, but im ready to listen

Answer 9

yea well thats what life is
i wonder if life's a sacrifice instead of something good

Answer 10

http://youtube.com/watch?v=dV1hv6L0R74

gets me every time

also,watch some of Lewis Black's stand up comedy.He always makes me feel better,especially when I'm pissed

Answer 11

Well if you wanna e-mail and talk you can. Otherwise I'm sorry you're having it rough and I hope it get's better for you soon. :) :D