A friend sent out wedding invites a couple months ago...well most of her guests declined the invite. She is getting married at the end of December in Michigan. Most of her invites were to people living in Texas, New Mexico & Arizona...so they'd have to travel quite a distance not to mention what the road conditions could be like up North. Well she's has been calling and asking "are you sure you can't come" I've told her nicely several times I just can't afford it this time of year, plus I cannot take additional time off from work...since we recieve a week off for Christmas paid...(Dec 21-27, & if you don't work the week after you loose your holiday pay. I can't afford that) Plus I told her that the weather is already pretty yucky up there...what if I get caught in a blizard. If it were closer or at any other time of the year I'd be happy to go. She's been calling lots of us...how do I tell her nicely without hurting her feelings?
2007-12-07 09:46:26 · 7 answers · asked by !s@b3l@ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why is the wedding in Michigan--because her family's there? Is the bride-to-be in the Southwest at the moment? And is her fiance? If they are, is there any reason they couldn't be married twice (like Mike and Deanna in "For Better or For Worse")? They could have a wedding in whichever city she's now in and then repeat the ceremony for family and family friends in Michigan. However, as a matter of courtesy, they should let both ministers/priests/rabbis in on the situation, so that the first one knows they're going to "renew their vows" a week later and the second one knows that that's what they're doing. They'd better also let the Michigan maid of honor and best man know that they probably won't be signing a marriage certificate!
If this scenario is too impractical, yes, you should keep telling your friend firmly that you can't make it, for a combination of strong reasons. Then if you want to make it clear to her that it's not just a matter of "not wanting to be bothered," you could get together with other friends of hers and have a party for her and her husband when they return, and ask them to wear their wedding clothes so that you can take more pictures. You could even have a second wedding cake.
After all, she's bound to feel pretty hurt is she thinks most of her friends didn't care enough to share her special occasion, so whatever you can do at your end to prevent such a feeling has to be a good thing.
2007-12-07 10:08:23 · answer #1 · answered by aida 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't make it sound like you are just feeding her excuses. Explain to her that it's a hard time of year for people to travel. And while you would love to see her and are honored to be invited to be involved on her special day, you simply can't. Tell her you know it's unlikely, but if she reschedules it, more people are likely to make it.
2007-12-07 17:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lum 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your responses already sound reasonable. She should accept and respect that. Although it's annoying, I'd re-iterate what you're already saying with the same polite tone. Be consistent with the message because otherwise, she might be thinking people just don't want to come.
2007-12-07 17:54:26 · answer #3 · answered by lils 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her exactly what you just said and dont feel bad you can only do what you can-tell her you will send a nice gift
2007-12-07 17:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just don't answer the phone the next time she calls. Sounds like she can't take no for an answer.
2007-12-07 18:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just tell her straight and if she can't accept it you can't take that on.
2007-12-10 14:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just b straight with her
2007-12-07 17:50:00 · answer #7 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋