A male cousin of mine once said i was ugly. What should i do?

Question

When i think back about that moment it still hurts and it makes me angry and sad. At Christmas i will see him again. I will have to act nice to him but i find it difficult since i'm still angry at him for this. What should i do?

Answer 1

uhh... he might've been kidding.. but if he was saying it in a rude tone then u shudn't care just ignore him..he's ur cousin ur not gona date him or anything

Answer 2

Get over it, chances are the dude was young when he said this and I have this firm belief that no one is ugly!
On another end don't let it ruin your life what one guy thinks shouldn't define you! You define yourself and show him in your actions and looks that he was wrong.

Here is the deal, I'm a big guy 6'5" 280 lbs. One thing I find is the better I look the better I feel. I always shower (that’s a given) but I also try and look nice! Keep your hair nice and wear it in a way that makes you feel sexy, choose your cloths so that they show off what you've got. While I'm not a body builder and not in the best shape my arms are pretty well defined, I try to pick shirts that accent that part. I don't know what girls do to feel like they look good, and I don't know what you look like but the thing is all you need to do is use what God gave you.
Basically what you do is wow him with how well you look and be the bigger person at heart.
I personally would shock his heart out. Dress for success the day you see him add some makeup (not to much to look trashy) now your not trying to get him to ask you out (for obvious reasons) so you just need to show him no matter what he said you didn't care and don't care what he has to say you feel sexy and confident.
Make an entrance when he shows up to really rub it in, and shoot him a sly smile for good measure.

~Frazer~

"The strength of one, the strength of many"
HMCS Winnipeg.

Answer 3

Realize that he is obviously a mean person and that you are not a mean person and let it go somewhat. Who cares what one person thinks? Don't allow him to keep getting to you. Hold your head up high and with confidence. Ask if he is the Miss America judge and if he's not, he's got no call saying anything about anyone. He probably is jealous of you and wanted to knock you down a peg. And you're letting him do that to you. Don't let him do that to you. Screw what he thinks!

Answer 4

People, even family members, often say hurtful things. You must tell yourself that he was young, stupid, and immature when he said it. In life, we can choose our own friends, but we cannot choose our family. Our family are part of the "baggage" that we are born with.

It is too easy for people who give answers on Yahoo! Answers to give a response such as "Get over it, girl." For many of us, we must either tolerate the situation or even move on to forgiveness.

At one level of social interaction, remind yourself that you do not have to deal with your cousin every day. It is not like you work in the same office as he does or attend classes at the same university. It is only one time of year, during the holidays, that you have to deal with him.

Forgiveness may be viewed on both a religious and psychological level. Having been raised in the Protestant Christian tradition, the concept of forgiveness was part of my religious upbringing. However, for me it is more difficult because of my northern Irish heritage. We people of Irish ancestry remember every affront and will cherish grudges for generations or even hundreds of years, often with violent consequences. However, it is not a healthy way to live to remember every insult, every affront.

From the point of view of a social psychologist, it is best to reduce or minimize the source of the stress. For some, stress can be worked off by yoga, by meditation, or by exercise [like go to the gym and have a heavy workout or go for a long run or bike ride]. For others, it can be accomplished by "habituation" -- that is to say, come close to the source of the stress in a gradual manner over a long period of time in a manner that the stress is reduced by becoming used to it.

You may find it helpful to speak to a family member about the situation. Can you talk to your aunt or uncle about this cousin? I mean talk to somebody in your family who will take your concerns seriously. You may find that this cousin has matured over the years and has become more sensitive, or you may find that he is just a mean person that nobody else in the family really likes but must tolerate during the holiday season. Also, by talking with other people in your family, you may find that you are building a support network within your family. The emotional support you get from your family will help you overcome this situation.

You need to overcome the negative attributions in how you view yourself. Some things that happen are not your fault. You need to stop thinking that you are the cause of all of your own problems. Sometimes problems and interpersonal relations happen just because they happen. Work on building a positive self-image. If you need to work on affirmations, do it. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, gracious, and that people really like you for who you are and the positive impact you have on their lives. Keep telling it to yourself. Keep trying. Become tenacious.

Answer 5

Well, sweetie, I doubt you will ever date your cousin so his opinion shouldn't matter anyway. Not only that, but he is probably pretty young and possibly doesn't look at ANY girl and think she's pretty.

Answer 6

he is your cousin he is just trying to be mean

Answer 7

hes family dont let it get to u

Answer 8

i mean are you going out with him? why do you care of his opinion

Answer 9

how did he say it to you?
..like, in what tone?