Should my husband pay for his parents vacation expenses?

Question

I have been happily married for a few months and my husband still helps his parents financially every month.Which I dont mind to a certain point. We both work and are trying to pay our debt of our wedding, so I do as little possible to save every cent by taking food for lunch at work and little things like that. We are planning a little weekend vacation, somewhere close and cheap wherewe wouldnt spend too much money to a national park and he asked me if he could invite his parents I said yes but they could not go due to the fact that they are struggling financially. So he went ahead and told them he could pay for half of the hotel, and we will probably end up buying their food too at restaurants. We were going to rent a small car, so now we need a bigger car, and obviously gas will be more expensive. So in summary we will spend more money, but it makes him very happy if we all went together. It makes me really mad that his parents dont care but my husband thinks Im jealous and selfish

Answer 1

Number one, never, never invite his parents when you guys are planning a romantic get-away, there will be no time for you to "bond".

Oh, no, they are coming, it is so time for your hubby to cut the apron strings, don't ya think????? I think so!!!!!!

You know what I also think, I think your husband needs to cut the aprin strings, and say "no" to his parents and more of "yes" to you!!!!!!

Your husband is a mama's boy and a daddy's boy, when he going to be a man and be YOUR MAN!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

This sounds like a marriage with you, hubby & mommy & daddy, not a good thing, I respect the fact that he is a caring son to his parents but I dont think he gets the fact that he is married now, this is about you & him, husband & wife, period! If he continues paying for mom & dad it will become a on going situation, in other words, they may expect him to pay for future trips & dinners,lunches etc, so just let him know that while you respect the fact that he loves his parents, that you wont support him & be so nice the next time, let him know that this wont be happening again! And honestly, it should be his mom & dad paying for you & your hubby, not the other way around? As you are the brand new married couple, just starting out in life, which makes it even more important for you to set down balance & rules pertaining to your new in-laws.

Answer 3

How do you know they don't care? If they are mean then you might be right. But maybe they are grateful but find it hard to say it. It's hard for parents to bend down and ask kids for help. You'll understand one day when you have kids. Since they are struggling financially then it's okay. Because it's not like they have the money but just don't want to spend it. Tell your hubby, you are okay with it, but tell him it's not without some struggle. Explain to him why you feel resentment, because you two don't have much money and you have made a lot of sacrifice for that. It's not because you are jealous and selfish. Ask him how he would fee if he did all that and you want to pay for your parents vacation. He'll get it. Yeah, men, they never get it on their own, they need for us to draw it out for them. And tell him you are willing for pay for his parents vacation because you love him.

Answer 4

I think your husband is being very generous, and he sounds like a wonderful son. The trick now is, as a newlywed, to learn to be a wonderful husband. He hasn't quite learned that when he married you, he "left his parents behind" in the sense that he ought to be seeing your marriage and your future children together as being more important than his parents. If they can't afford a vacation, or if you can only afford one slightly more than they can, it is NOT your responsibility to use your joint funds (as all are now that you're married) to pay for his parents.

I'm not sure I could EVER go on vacation with my IL's or my own parents. It would drive me batshit crazy. As newlyweds, why is he so willing to spend time like valuable vacation with his parents rather than with his new wife alone?

Answer 5

Hunny, sounds like it alittle thats because you are still newlyweds and you are aloud to feel that way, but if your husband invited them, then yes he should pay, my husband and I always did, if I invited my family, we'd pay and if he invited his family we'd pay. But, Hunny look on the bright side, you get him all to yourself in the hotel room, give little, I understand it stings right now but in the long run, it will be to your advantage......

Answer 6

It sounds like you married the wrong guy to me. It's good to take care of your parents to a certain extent, but not paying for a vacation for them. If they can't afford to pay their bills they shouldn't be going on a vacation. Your husband needs to "leave and cleave".

Answer 7

I think that you are making too big of a deal out of this. If money were not involved, how would you feel about your in-laws coming on your trip?

It doesn't sound to me like it will cost a huge amount of money to take them on this trip.

My husband and I took his parents on a cruise a few years ago. It was so exciting for them and he just wanted to show them that he appreciated everything that they did for him growing up.

I would think that you would support your husband in this unless you are strapped financially.

Answer 8

It seems that you are only complaining about the money aspect of it, so I am going to side with your husband here.

Answer 9

no your husband parents need to pay for their our stuff. and the people on here talking about the that's sweet of him there are parent and looking for their kids to take care of them

Answer 10

If you two are struggling on your own you need to stop helping his parents. You two are a family now. Your family needs come before extended family. If your needs are met and can afford to help extended family...that is when you help.