I recently discovered that I was pregnant and though it came a complete suprise to us both i thought my husband was exited about it.
I since had a miscarriage which was abit upsetting, ( expected though as I had a IUD in place).
The only thing that has been getting me through is the fact that I thought my husband was willing to try again. However, over the last couple of days I have spoken to a few close friends as well as my sister who have imformed me that he never really wanted another child in the first place.
Whats upset me the most is he had to tell every single female in the neighbourhood he wasn't happy.
I only found out after a friend had a few drinks and she openly told me.
How can I stay with him now when there is so much distrust?
2007-12-07 08:37:31 · 8 answers · asked by arnie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He isn't happy in the marriage or he doesn't want another child? Or both?
I would confront him about it. Just tell him that you heard this and is it true. Try not to put him on the defensive. Not until you know his true feelings can you make any decision about what you should do.
2007-12-07 08:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not his fault. It's both of yours. Why in the heck would you marry someone with out discussing kids before hand? You should have known that he didn't want kids in the first place. Maybe there is something I don't know.......If so then don't get all huffy puffy with him. Sit him down and talk about it. Like the others said, he probably was scared/timid to tell you. Just talk about it. That is the #1 problem with everyone on this site. No one talks to each other!
2007-12-07 17:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by Tony M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not jump to conclusions here. So many things get misconstrued or misinterpreted, especially when alcohol is involved. He may have said those things a long time ago, and then when you got pregnant he changed his mind and actually got excited about the prospect of having a child with you. You should discuss this with him directly, and make decisions based on conversations with him.
2007-12-07 16:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by julesl68 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he a person who always tries to find the positive side of things? maybe he just felt like he honestly wasn't ready for another kid or really never expected to have another. what i would be focusing on is his initial response to you being pregnant. it's good to know that even though he doesn't want another kid, he sounds like he was being supportive and optimistic about it. but you can't blame him for not wanting something that he never really wanted in the first place. you might need to be more honest with him about what you really want, though. doesn't sound like you have been.
2007-12-07 16:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by sosad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you're going to totally take the word of a friend who had a few drinks first. That's really smart. Why don't you just ask your husband what he's feeling. Maybe he's hurting because you lost your baby. Trust woman, trust.
2007-12-07 16:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by Poppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did not want to tell you anything because he loves and he saw that you were happy so he did not want to break your happiness maybe he know you are not stable and he is not either. And to npt keep it all bottled up he needs to tell someone.
2007-12-07 16:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him not these other folks. They might have misunderstood him or its his way of not dealing with the problem. I would tell folks the same even though it would eat me up in side.
2007-12-07 16:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just sit down with him and talk about it, who knows what he is thinking but if you just up and run you will never know what he is thinking
2007-12-07 18:50:09 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋