I am a new mom, as of 4 weeks ago, and I really want to go out christmas shopping for the afternoon with my son FOR my husband..But he keeps giving me guilt trips about not taking him. I've tried to explain to him that Im going shopping for him, and he cannot come, but he just gets upset. Why is this? Why cant I just be a PERSON and go out on my own? It seems whenever I make plans to do anything, this is what happens....why, from your personal experiences, is he doing this to me?
2007-12-07 08:19:14 · 23 answers · asked by krisindeed 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why are you even asking permission to go shopping?!
pack up the baby, get in the car, and get to shopping. hubby can go shopping with you another day!
2007-12-07 08:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Hmm, he might just be letting you know that he loves you, and wants to be with you... albeit in a weird kind of way. He might not even really want to go. I'm not into playing games really, but you like to shop by yourself, you should invite him once and make sure to make it as boring as possible. Maybe that will help. Or, if you're newlyweds, maybe it will get a little better on it's own, as time goes on...
2007-12-07 20:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So it's not just this one time then, it's all the time?
Sit him down and tell him that he seems to have some issues you need to talk about. Ask him why he does not feel that you should be allowed to go anywhere on your own. Let him know in absolute terms that this is being overcontrolling and is unacceptable, and that it will stop now, or he will go in for counselling.
In the meantime, go and do what you need to do. Be careful, and be sure to get this problem taken care of because men who are over controllers like this many times end up being both emotionally AND physically abusive. Stop it now before it gets to that point. If he cannot control it himself, then send him to a counsellor.
2007-12-07 16:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations first!!!!!!
Maby now since you had the baby, he wants you to stay at home, for the baby because you know how to take care of the baby and he does not!!!!
He is scared to be a father!!!!! I am so serious!!!!
You see, some fathers, know right away to "be" a father, other new "daddy's", do not know right away on how to be a father, they need to be taught on how to be a father.
They have local parenting classes for fathers of newborns, that just the fathers go to without the mom's, and the new dad's can interract with other new dads and exchange ideas and experiences and share their fears and thoughts about parenting, they will even know how to hold the newborn.
My husband had to go to one of those, and it worked!
He is afraid to be left alone, with your child, he does not know how to be a father, how to change a diaper, how to take care of spit-up, how to know what the baby wants and needs when the baby cries!!!!!!
Sign him up for a parenting class!!!! He will love it.
He does not want you to go anywhere, because he is afraid to be left alone with this tiny human being, he does not know how to "read" your child, and he does not know your child's needs, he needs someone to help himself recognize these needs that are coming from your child.
2007-12-07 16:41:23 · answer #4 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Is this something new? Has he always been like this? WAnting to do everything with you?
sounds to me like he is either insecure or possessive of you; or both.
Good luck. Getting someone to get over those type of feelings and change is VERY difficult. The best thing may be to just not take him seriously and just do what you want. Sooner or later he will realize it isn't that bad.
2007-12-07 16:45:26 · answer #5 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to be protective of his family.
The truth is lots of bad things happen during this time of the year. Robberies, muggings, car accidents ...etc.
He's a new Daddy give him a break.
2007-12-07 17:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he thinks he's protecting you - there is a rise in crime around the holidays.
Go when he's working or let him come with you and park him in the corner with the baby while you shop for him.
Joy to you!
2007-12-07 16:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's afraid of the baby-some men fear being left alone with an infant because they don't know what to do-get a sitter -leave the baby at their house and go shopping
2007-12-07 16:32:14 · answer #8 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is controlling. Maybe not in a mean way, but still about control. U need to let him know little by little that you are your own individual and deserve the opportunity to have some space as well. Also it might be the amount of time you two have been togheter,,For example if my wife were to tell me that, I would give her a whole week to go shopping for me,,lol,,,U will be ok,,just communicate your fustration.
2007-12-07 16:26:06 · answer #9 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Congratulations.
Wait til your second child.... you'll be asking him to take care both of them while you go shopping.....
Guilt trips only work if you feel a little guilty yourself. So why do you feel guilty? What's the real issue here?
2007-12-07 16:33:22 · answer #10 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm a woman, but i can answer this one for you... Its because you are taking your son with you...They need time to bond too. He probably feels alone, because his whole family is going shopping w/o him...maybe you can leave the baby with him...or bring the hubby along, and have him do his own thing, while you shop for him
2007-12-07 16:24:24 · answer #11 · answered by Leannamick 5 · 5⤊ 2⤋