to pick his son up from school when it is his turn but he is not able? He is divorced and his son lives with his ex wife. He visits us once a week and every other weekend. On the days he is not able to pick up his son he asks his ex-wife to do it for him and then he picks him up at her house. He tells me he does not want to ask her if it is okay for me to pick him up because it would upset her. When they were going through their divorce he told her they would do the parenting and I would not be involved. But it has been a year and a half now. I believe my boyfriend still feels very guilty about having an affair and leaving his wife and son. However, maybe I should count my blessings - she hardly ever calls our home and does not interfere in our lives. Any advice?
2007-12-07 08:17:33 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave the parenting duties to the parents!! Its not your business you are just the girlfriend.
2007-12-07 08:22:04 · answer #1 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When they were going through the divorce, he said you would hardly be involved. A year and a half has gone by, so? He never specified you would be involved a year after the divorce. His decision seems to be final, this child is not your son, and yes, you should count your blessings because you don't have to deal with either. Just enjoy your life, have your own kids, I dunno...
BTW, I understand her not wanting the "other" woman getting involved. You did kind of get in the way, and the child is also affected by your doing. You have her ex husband, leave her the child.
2007-12-07 08:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not be upset. My partner has two kids to a previous relationship. I don't get involved with the parenting but i do have a say in what they do in my house and if it involves money. I always think that if i was in that situation how would i feel about another woman trying to be step-mom to my child. I think i would be upset too. I wouldn't think of it personally your partner is probably trying to keep the peace which if she's anything like my partners ex is the hardest job in the world.
2007-12-07 08:55:56 · answer #3 · answered by Cinderella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone all your going to do is make trouble were none exists. If you feel like you are number two to the kids and the ex-wife (under these circumstances) it is probably a sign that your "boyfriend" has some of his priorities straight.
The bottom line is that kids need parents that attend to parental responsibilities not attending to their physical needs.
2007-12-07 08:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he should feel guilty. You should too. You wrecked a marriage and destroyed a family. That being said, if you're planning on staying in this relationship a long time you need to try to develope a relationship with his child and to some degree with his ex. She'll be in the picture for a lot of years.
2007-12-07 08:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by Poppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
TAlk to your BF about it. Think of it this way...Would you want your ex husbands girlfriend picking up YOUR child from school? Especially if you are the reason they divorced in the first place...Count your blessings sister...not too many pissed off ex-wives let their kid go over the "mistresses" house. I can understand how you feel...but wouldnt you have a little resentment too?
2007-12-07 08:59:55 · answer #6 · answered by Leannamick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ticking Tom Bomb waiting to happen!
You put yourself in a pistol young lady!
The writing is on the wall that he is doing this all wrong!
Him catering to her is making his situation no better, and if you and him really are going to make it! Then the boy needs to be a part of all four of your lives! I can respect that he don't want to offend her but sweetheart the marriage is over now and to me that is totally disrespecting you if you really want to look at it in true eye-sight! When he has to kiss up to and monitor the feelings of another woman, and he's in a relationship with you now, I don't know but I would have a serious problem with that! Maturity on the both sides needs to set in! She needs to accept you and you need to accept it is what it is with her and his son! If neither of you are ready to deal with that then the relationship isn't going to work! I'm just being honest! How do you hold a promising relationship with someone and they are so worried about disrupting the other person that they are no longer in a relationship with! It is what it is between them now! Never allow any man to put forth another woman and monitor there feelings just because we're in a relationship and they aren't! Oh well sweetheart get over me, I'm here to stay that's how i look at it! If he feels that guilty then he needs to be with her in my book! To much secret stuff for me! As for her not calling the house, or as you say hardly! I would want her calling so I can be in on everything...... When your not in on everything, you mis out on alot! I just gave you my honest opinion......
2007-12-07 08:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by rita_hiemy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have already agreed to a plan, it's not for you to try to change it. Especially if your the reason for the divorce. Your not married and until you are officailly the stepmom, I would leave this one alone and dont make waves, The ex could come back and make things very hard for you and your bf.
Trust me, been there and done that, it's a path you dont want to go down.
2007-12-07 08:28:04 · answer #8 · answered by TAS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it be. Things will probably remain peaceful if you dont push it. Your involved enough since he stays with you guys. I have a step son and when it come to parenting issues I stay back unless I am asked to get involved. His mother and my hubby give me free reign though and I do all the other normal stuff like pick him up and talk to his mom about christmas presents and take care of him when he's sick and staying with us. Let them do what they think is right though. He is their child.
2007-12-07 08:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. He seems to have a good working relationship going on with the ex for the sake of their son. Unless you want trouble, leave things as they are.
2007-12-07 08:30:19 · answer #10 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋