Im real sorry to bother you guys with this but I really need help... ok so this is the story Ive been Dating this guy for a little over a year and he has never asked me to be his girlfriend.. I mean were always together and its as if we were a couple I mean we are but its just not official. The problem is no one in my family seems to like him... I can Honestly say he is an asswhole sometimes , He always wants things done his way and he tends to even raise his voice at me constantly ... we are literally fighting 40 % of the time and I dont like that because I really love him and to what he says he wants to make me his wife .. But sometimes I feel a bit affraid of him because like I said he has a really bad temper. But Not of all of it is bad he is a sweet guy I guess what I want to know is what others think of my sittuation because I know that we tend to blind ourselves when we fall in love and I am doing this to myself I want your help to finally open my
2007-12-07 07:54:42 · 20 answers · asked by Ms.Dimples 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I really appreciate you guys taking the time to answer my question... I cant say Im gonna leave him just now but what I do know is that Im going to talk to him and set him straight eather he does something about it or screw it its "officially" OVER..lol I Guess it is partially my fault because I sould have put and end to it since the begining..
2007-12-07 08:25:18 · update #1
Sandra S .. I like your answer.. trust me I have always wanted to start dating other guys but cant seem to go through it just doesnt feel right.. .
and I know its easy for us to say Leave Him But easier said than done.. Especially When you LOVE Someone as much as I love him..
2007-12-07 08:31:20 · update #2
Move on - Now!
2007-12-07 07:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Prophet 1102 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is the only reason you listed as to why you love him and you're not completely sure about it:
he is a sweet guy I guess
On the other hand is:
he has never asked me to be his girlfriend
he is an asswhole sometimes (intentionally misspelled?)
no one in my family seems to like him
He always wants things done his way
he tends to even raise his voice at me constantly .
we are literally fighting 40 % of the time
sometimes I feel a bit afraid of him
Is this how you define a good and loving relationship? Bet not. Hope not.
Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Bet not. Hope not.
Is this how you think you deserve to be treated? Bet not. Hope not.
How long before he physically abuses you?
The answer to your question is crystal clear. If he is unwilling to change, and it sounds like he isn't, then you are wasting your time and your life.
2007-12-07 16:24:47 · answer #2 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this same thing with a guy recently. We were the same, together all the time and acted as if we were a couple but we never made it official. I brought it up with him about this and he said we would talk about it, but never did. He was an asshole, and yelled at me for stuff didn't do. In the end he left me for some other female and they seemed to have a happy relationship, although he is still trying to sleep with me. I guess the best thing to do is to understand your self worth, and believe that you deserve better. I wasted a year with someone who clearly didn't want me. Now I know that if someone truly wants me they will tell me and show me all the time.
2007-12-07 16:07:06 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Kisses 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what type of answer you are looking to hear. but I know a person such as he is will only lead to augments and fighting all the time if you do get married, you know the type that you see all the time, that scream at each other. I do believe this will end up the same way. so even if you love him now, I do think I would back away from this. for that love will not last threw the misery it will bring after marriage.
2007-12-07 18:51:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At one point I was in a relationship like that, my mom told me to write on a calender every time you get into a fight. If the fights out weigh the good times, that means it is time to move on. You need to be Happy with the person you are with. But always remember you are the only one that can make you happy! Good Luck
2007-12-07 16:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by Shepherd!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you shouldn't be with someone who treats you in a way you don't like. people don't really change so if he wants to marry you he'll just try to control you. i know sometimes family can be an a** about the people you date but most of the time their right on the ball.
An you're right we do blind ourselves into thinking that the person will change or there will be better times....
but if he started out that way, he'll always want to be that way.
now just ask yourself. do you want the past year to be your forever?
2007-12-07 16:02:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are exclusive to this guy, yet not officially in a relationship... You need to go out with other guys, and see if they all treat you the same way. That's the best way to make an educated decision - have fun with your research!
2007-12-07 16:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by Sandra S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not bothering me. Well I think that you shouldn't go with him because if 40 percent of the time you are fighting there's isn't enough time for loving. If he doesn't full respect you and yells at you can find somone better who has the same qualities you like in him but doesn't easily get angry
2007-12-07 16:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to ask your self if you want to be fixed... most people that want to direct you without regard to your own choices use what i call a drill seargent mentality... that means they raise their voice to get more of your attention... does it get worse? well you have to ask yourself how long are you going to go having someone raise their voice at you until you get tired of it... do you make decisions on your own? well probably the longer this goes on the less decisions in your life you will be making....
the question you pose is not a question for us to answer but something you have to ask your self how much you can take....
if you like the way you are treated then rock on!!! if not you better start talking to him to see if he can make an official effort to stop treating you like you are one of his little soldiers...
good luck girlfriend... (unofficially of course;))
2007-12-07 16:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by my_huckelberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are blind. Run, I say run. Love is not fighting 40% of the time. Love is not being an asshole and remember family always knows best. So run I say.
2007-12-07 16:13:02 · answer #10 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reminds me of my ex. i did lots of things to impress the guy, but he would never call me his girlfriend and i think it is a big deal. in the end i think you just end up realizing that it is not worth it. life is too short to impress people and be someone you are not and fighting all the time is a bad sign.
i suggest you reconsider being with him.
2007-12-07 16:06:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋