Hubby is not to financially brite, If some calls and say a bill needs to be paid he will just pay it with no questions asked, Not knowing if I already paid it meaning mailed it. or it is an error, He keeps track of nothing Mortage, insurance, car notes. utilities etc...But the latest gadget that comes out he knows all about it! he 's in the Military, he is buying crap that is not really needed and not communicating with me,when he make these purchase, SO there were a few time he has overdrawn out acct and I would have transfer money into from the saving to cover the cost. I pay bills before I do anything, he may not...How do I tell him that I no longer want my income in the same account with his? And just in case your wondering I make more than he does. And I have 2 kids with me and he has two kids with their baby mama! I just need to figure out how to tellhim with out hurting his feelings....I just cannot do it anymore....
2007-12-07 07:50:55 · 18 answers · asked by sa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thank You all for your response.. By the way he is not writting any checks its the ATM or Debit withdrawls, He doesnt touch the Credit cards all 3 of them he has never used nor activated his cards to use it, It is just the bank acct.... I have called the bank and deactivated his card until I figure out what to do. If he needs money I will give it to him. I dont have to do my 15 yr old like this...damn shame!
2007-12-07 08:20:49 · update #1
the joint accounts for mutual expenses, and a personal slush account work well. So does a "hide my assets" account.
2007-12-07 07:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by CHARLES R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you need to talk about our financial situation. explain to him about his way of handling the bills and over drafting the accounts is not good. Try to work out something or the results will be that you will have your own account and he have his. Just be prepare in the case that he might show his rear end or really go over broad with his spending habit. Buying things that you really doesn't have a need for is just a waste of good finance. The other option that you just open up another account and remove your name from the joint account. If he ask you why, just explain to him about how he doesn't keep better track record on what was paid and spent.
Since he is in the military the can get into alot of trouble if he keep writing bad checks (bounce), he will have to see his company commander about the problem. Writing bad check in the military is a no go!! He should know that unless he been in under 2 yrs. But, still that is no excuse for that kind of miss manage his finance.
2007-12-07 08:11:17 · answer #2 · answered by Thomas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with him and discuss separating the bank accounts. The go over a detailed list making sure each one of you knows exactly which bills you are responsible for and what dates they are due. Then tell him he is not to pay any of the bills you are responsible for, and vice versa. Give it a try for a few months. If that doesn't work, then take away all checks and bank debit cards from him and explain that you will be taking care of ALL the finances, and you will give him an allowance, and he may not spend any more than that.
2007-12-07 07:57:39 · answer #3 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We got married 11 years ago and joined our accounts. I brought the majority of the debt into the marriage but made more than her. We fought constantly about the account. We agreed on a spending limit that we could each live with. I balanced the account and all I asked for was that she tell me how much she spent and when. I didn't even need to know to whom the money went. She was consistently forgetting purchases and losing receipts. Every month there would be anywhere from $50-$400 in missing receipts and the account was all f-ed up every month. When I asked her to let me know what she was spending I was accused of being controlling. We separated our accounts and don't have those fights anymore. I don't think it's right though. It has distanced us.
2016-04-08 00:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if he doesn't share his finance endeavors with you, then you are good to go on just separating your accounts.
You don't have to have his permission to have your own account or even to take your name off of his account. Go and open up your own account. Then, tell him that you separated the accounts and that he will have to keep up with his own spending. Then, for goodness sake, stop bailing him out by taking out your precious savings for his frivolous spending habits.
However, you will still need access to his account for bills and such, so I would not take my name off of the joint account. I would have a separate checking and savings and transfer the money from the joint savings to your personal savings account. Just let him know what you have done so that he won't expect you to bail him out of his financial mistakes.
He will probably take it hard because he is used to you fixing all of the messes that he makes (financially). You will have to have backbone and just tell him that he is ruining the family finances and this way is the best way.
2007-12-07 08:00:48 · answer #5 · answered by Christian93 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is an idea that you can use. How about you have one acct for bills and the other account for living expenses.
What you do is put all your income into the bill account and and budget what is to be put in the other acct. This puts him on a leash without even realizing it.
2007-12-07 07:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you want different accounts because you never know what's going on, and paying bills is difficult if he's not tracking what he pays, or what he spends. Hopefully he will be able to see that he may not be the most responsible when it comes to finances.
2007-12-07 08:02:52 · answer #7 · answered by Riley's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing, and believe or not, he did not even have a checking account before we got married. First I got duplicate checks, and then I just put my foot down and told him it would be one less thing for him to worry about, just let me pay all the bills and I won't make him balance the check book. Now he asks me to fill out the check when he needs one.
2007-12-07 08:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound so "brite" yourself.
Go to the bank, open a new account and let him know that from now on, your finances will be separate. Then decide who pays which bills and go by that every month.
2007-12-07 08:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by monicanena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put money jointly into an acct that pays ONLY household bills etc. Then each of you can have separate "disposable income" accts to spend as you see fit.
2007-12-07 07:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by that judi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i suggest both of you going to talk to a financial advisor together. but be sure to explain to the financial advisor BEFORE you both go in and talk, that you want separate accounts for certain things. the financial advisor can act sort of like a financial therapist/counselor, and be the neutral party that can explain why having separate accounts for certain things is a good idea.
i only suggest this due to finances being a very touchy subject for most people to deal with, especially when it's me vs. you sort of thing.
2007-12-07 08:01:47 · answer #11 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋