Today is friday. We haven't had sex since LAST friday. It's been a whole week. I am beginning to wonder if he is cheating on me? When we do have sex, I am always the one to initiate it. I always want sex... several times a day would be fine with me! :) We've been married 12 years, but we're both still young. ( I'm 28 and he's 30.) Do you think that he is sleeping with someone else or maybe I just don't turn him on anymore? Just looking for some opinions/advice. Thanks.
2007-12-07 07:29:04 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's just tired. i wouldnt worry about it.
2007-12-07 07:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by docash75 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, and there are red flags going off all over the place. However, 12 years is a long time to be married...especially being so young. You guys were babies when you got married, you both grew up and changed so much.. but with each other. He could just be tired or maybe has something on his mind that's been bothering him. I am pg right now, and also have an insane sex drive lol. I know my fiance is in love with me and not cheating, but I also am the one to instigate it a lot. A 30 year old man does not have the sex drive that an 18 year old guy does. But... the only assurance you can possibly get is by asking him. Don't instantly accuse him. Just tell him how you're feeling and ask him whats up before jumping to conclusions. Let him know you feel as if he's not attracted to you anymore, or ask if there's something thats been on his mind. Guys are more open and willing to be honest if they feel they are not being attacked or accused about something.
2007-12-07 07:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by dylans going2b a big brother! :) 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is it a woman always reverts back to the old "I don't turn him on anymore" Whay does it have to be about you? Listen up gals, there are many reasons a man slows down over the years. In your case there is an age difference albeit a small one, but a man hits his prime well before a woman. I doubt he is sleeping around. I would guess it is has more to do with stress and a sedentary lifestyle. As a man begins to age and doesn't do as much playing he slows down. The instinctive urges he experienced in youth wanes away. There is no need to be on the prowl, so the hormones begin to slow down in their production and as a result, he loses a little interest. If you need to be the agressor, then do it and don't complain. A lot of women will start to whine about sex and then you sill lose him. Don't make it a chore, make it more fun. If you have children, find a sitter on a Saturday and surprise him with a trip to a local hotel for some naughty alone time. Maybe he doesn't feel as sext as he used to? There is a thought many women wouldn't imagine. We do feel less sexy as the middle grows and the hair begins it's travels south.
A marriage is a work in progress. There will be times he will have to work at something and there will be times you will have to work harder, it is obviously your time on this one.
Add some spice and you may rekindle a flame. Talk naughty and act naughty and you may burn down the house.
As we grow into a family we tend to get regimented and life loses that spark. Kick it up a notch. Watch some porn together, tie him up and service him. Act like he is the best in the world and you just might keep things going for a while.
Yoda out
2007-12-07 07:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by Yoda 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"married 12 years" and both of you are still young. Maybe is time for a 2nd honeymoon. His lack of sex doesn't necessarily means he is cheating. U know that. You also know what type of man your husband is. Just don't talk about it too much. Hey,,it's been a week for me as well and I'm not panicking. But there's always the week-end! :o)
2007-12-07 07:35:33 · answer #4 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You been married a long time and you are still having sex. What happen to making love? Here is how you can spice things up.
Here are three tips to get you started on the road to passionate and fulfilling sex:
Sizzle, don't fizzle: The first step is to discover why you and your partner aren't meshing in the bedroom. Does he skimp on foreplay? Is she passive and bored during the act? These are delicate topics, but rest assured, they can be addressed. Do so with respect and delicacy. Try couching your complaint inside a compliment, such as "I have been thinking about us making love all day. Let's enjoy foreplay before we rush into it." Or, "I love when you are vocal about your pleasure during sex. It really turns me on." Most couples want to please each other in the bedroom, so once they hear what really turns you on, you won't need to tell them twice!
Bring your "A" game: Unfortunately, when people feel as though their partner is disinterested or disengaged from sex, they too will begin to disengage and lose interest. However, once this occurs, the sex life is doomed to failure! If you want your partner to be a pro in the bedroom, you need to become a pro too. Initiate a new position, confess a fantasy, and indulge in a little erotica together. If you want to turn up the temperature in your sex life, you need to be the one who brings the heat!
Let go of perfection: Most of us have received our sexual expectations from the media. Whether it is Cosmopolitan, romantic comedies, or adult flicks, we all have certain expectations about what "should" happen in the bedroom. Unfortunately, the media is rarely realistic when it comes to sex. Sex can't always involve hours of foreplay, champagne, and silk sheets. Sometimes it has to happen first thing in the morning while the kids are still in bed, sometimes it has to happen when the house is messy and your legs aren't shaved, etc. Whatever the case, it is time to ditch the perfect image of what we believe sex "should" be. Once you lose the shackles of expectations, you can begin creating your own version of your perfect sex life!
2007-12-07 07:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I doubt he is cheating on you. Before we had our son (having children changes things for you), I was like you...I wanted it at least once a day. I worried about why I was always the one initiating it and my husband was never really excited about sex. We even had arguments about it. Then I got pregnant and my drive really slowed down. I still enjoy sex, but once to a couple times a week is plenty. Interestingly, my husbands drive has really increased. I think partly he was turned off by the lack of challenge (he knew I was always up for sex), and since we were having sex more than his drive was looking for he wasn't really excited about it. Try backing off of him. It will be hard, but he will gain more interest and it will actually improve your love life!
2007-12-07 07:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What other symptoms is he displaying? Cheaters have signs. Like staying out late after work with no real excuse. Secretive. Minimizing the computer screen when any one else enters the room. Hiding phone records. Sudden change in the way he dresses or starts wearing cologne. Or goes on a sudden diet and exercise program. Becomes critical of you. Argumentative. Distant and unconcerned with you.
2007-12-07 07:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may be tired.................he may be worrying about something...work, finances. His work maybe stessing him out. Do not automatically assume he is playing away. Perhaps you should try to talk with him in a non accusatoy way to find ot wht is on his mind that is affecting him. Mind yu, I note that you didn't say whether this was unusual so it may well be that this has been the case since you married, anyway.
2007-12-07 07:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you ask a bunch of strangers if your husband is cheating? Are you bragging that you want sex all of the time, so there must be something wrong with him if he doesn't? Could there be something wrong with you? Sounds like sex is the way to reaasure you that you are wanted. There are many ways of wanting someone and not just through sex. Maybe you want it so much that it feels like it has become part of the daily routine.....what would be wrong with building up some desire? That in itself can lead to great sex when it happens. Talk to him and not to strangers.
2007-12-07 07:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Sugar, watch him to see if his health is suffering in any way, try to get him to go to the doctor. If nothing is wrong, sugar, get tested for STDs immediately and get a private investigator. I was married 12 years and this is EXACTLY what happened when he started cheating on me. You all are too young for him to be this uninterested. And if it turns out he is cheating, leave him, you will heal and live in a happinesss you didn't know was possible. God bless.
2007-12-07 07:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Losing Is Not An Option 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been married for13yrs we have cycles when we have sex like we did when we were first married then the cycle will turn when it slacks off. I don't think you have anything to worry about but if you want to try to 'spice things ' up a bit he probably would enjoy it.
2007-12-07 07:35:59 · answer #11 · answered by firefly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋