I'm a gay teenager (most of you already know that, anyways, continuing on) I recently came out about 2 months ago, and nobody cares that I'm gay (My family's supportive). However, my mom doesn't even want me to have any relationships, even just as friends, with other guys. When my brother was my age, he was allowed to date whoever he wanted. I talked to my mom, and she specifically said she is completely okay with me being gay. But apparently relationships are a no-no?
What hurts the most is, to be quite literally honest, of her children, she can trust me the most. And she has, more so than her other children. I've given her more trust than anyone, but now she's putting restrictions to my life-- I honestly think that she thinks that all I want is to get some, and that's so low. I'm not even like that-- at all. It really agitates me and I don't know what to do.
2007-12-07 07:24:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You need to talk to your Mom, if she wants to keep you home and away from other people, she does have a problem with you being gay, and she thinks if she keeps you isolated from people, how can you possibly have a relationship with another guy. I know she will come around and really be supportive, but it will take time, there is nothing more devastating to a parent, then for their child to tell them that they are gay, its a shock, every parent dreams of a perfect life for their child, and no one would want their child to go through life with their child being judged by who they loved, its hard on your Mom, just be patient and all will be OK, life is hard enough, she only wants you to be completely happy.....talk to her, and tell her you are happy being gay, and you would be straight if you could be, but you were born gay, and you are going to live a happy and fulfilled life...♥
2007-12-07 08:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Judy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its going to take time for her to adjust to everything. She now sees every guy as a potential partner for you and she is not ready for that.
Just like a mother and father would be protective of their daughter, im sorry to say its the same for you because you are not at a greater risk with your choice of preference.
If you get involved with the wrong person you could contract aids. you could get your heart broken, you could experiment with things you never have before and she is not going to try and protect you from al of this.
As much as you think they dont care. your wrong. They are supportive but they do care as well. Alot and even more now.
Talk to your mom about how you feel, the risks and assure her what you want and are looking for. Perhaps that will help her relax a little more and give you some more freedom when she realizes you dont want anything sexual and are aware of the risks.
2007-12-07 07:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by Faithful_tab 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is new for her. You need to give her time to fully accept this. Yes, she says she is ok with it, but I'm sure it's hard for her to give up on the "normal" life she had planned for you (you know married to a woman, have a house with a white picket fence, 2 kids, a dog). She will get more ok with it, it will take time. It has only been two months. Try going out with a group of friends or just say you're going to a movie or have your guy friends over to play video games. Let your mom see you hanging out with guys (not making out with) doing normal guy stuff and eventually she will be more ok with you actually dating a guy. Talk with her, give her time, and enjoy your teenage years. Don't be so impatient to start dating, you'll have plenty of time! ;-) Good Luck!
2007-12-07 07:32:32 · answer #3 · answered by Deny_Zoo29 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Well, maybe if you find someone who you like, and tell her that you really want to be with this person, she might let you. And if you invite the person over, and let her meet her.
You should ask her why she doesnt want you dating people, and maybe it has to do with you coming out. Because she probably wasnt like that before? I am not sure, but you should ask her why she is like this now and not before. Even though you may know the answer, it might make her think about it more.
But talk to her, and if you have someone in mind, then maybe you should bring the person over for dinner.
2007-12-07 07:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by sierra 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Alright, now I know you probably hear this everyday, but, I know exactly how you feel.
My mother always "accepted my homosexuality," in the relationship corridor, she always said no. So to test her, I asked out a girl. My mother was so supportive, until she found out I was still gay. She went from restricting my relationship abilities, to all-out denying my gayness. She forced my non-existent heterosexuality down my throat, asking what girl I'd take to prom, and telling me I wasn't gay. I got pissed and moved out.
So now the answer to your question. Unfortunately, this answer is not a standardized, one size fits all answer. In my situation, I had little choice but to disown her.
In your situation, you have to decide between honoring your mother's requests or those of your body.
If you choose the prior, you may develop a kind of resentment towards her, however, I chose the latter and her relationship with me still failed.
Choose wisely, analyze you priorities, but most of all, respect your own wishes. You only live once.
2007-12-07 07:31:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
You're gay? Omg. And to think...I actually liked you. ; )
Ok, let me quit being a jackass and actually read the question...
Ah, damn. You know, I think most of us have experienced this. Once I came out (and my mom was not as supportive as yours), I was suddenly a suspect. It seemed impossible for me to just be friends with anyone anymore, any girls anyway. I could see her looking over people I'd been friends with for years in an accusing manner.
The problem, I believe, is that a lot of people are ok with people they love being gay in theory. In practice, though, it can be a whole other story. I'd never seen her as defensive and judgmental as the first time I actually brought my girlfriend home to meet her. She took that much worse than she did when I came out. I could read her mind. "That's the b**** who's sleeping with my daughter."
Unfortunately, coming out at such a young age (which I applaud you for, really), your entire romantic life is going to come under scrutiny, even if it's just the one she imagines you're having. I have no advice, I'm afraid, other than to point this double standard out to her. It's certainly not fair that your brother was allowed to date at your age and you get a hard time for having guy friends.
Your mom sounds like a reasonable woman (from what you've said of her previously), I believe she'll come around. Don't just roll over about this, though. Acting defeated is only going to make it easier for her to hold you to a different standard.
Best of luck.
2007-12-07 07:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by Legs 6 · 8⤊ 3⤋
She's definitely not being fair. Try this one night right before dinner invite a friend over for dinner. Don't tell you mom. Then when he gets there say Oh mom by the way I invited my friend for dinner. She will get mad just tell her you forgot to tell her. She won't have the never to tell him he can't stay and this will give him a chance to make a good impression on your mom.
Once she likes him she won't mind him coming over to spend time with you. If she still doesn't want him coming over then keep inviting him over for dinner without telling her until she gets used to it. Just say oh I'm sorry I forgot to tell. Then say Mom you don't mind if he stays do you? Put her on the spot. She will say yes he can stay. Good luck.
2007-12-07 07:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by Snookles © 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Oh man that sux....I would just sit down and talk to her...If she trusts you the most then you might be able to make her see that you're not trying to have sex with every guy you talk to nor would you even want to...
goodluck!
;)
2007-12-07 09:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by ♫christy♫ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her this is how you feel
you mom might say she is fine with you
being gay but maybe she is a little uncomfortable
tell her your goals like you just want to date someone
not screw them on the first date
ask if you can just go to the movies with a guy or something
take it slow
or invite him over for dinner
maybe if she starts to see you around them and how your intention aren't bad she will be easier to deal wilth and allow you to date
everyone deserves to date and love
no matter who, or their sexuality
2007-12-07 07:29:39 · answer #9 · answered by makeyourselfsick 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
she is hoping by not allowing you to date that you may realize you are not really gay but that you have went through some kind of sexual confusion but are done with it.no mother or father wants their child to be gay! they love you but they do not want you to live this lifestyle which is an abomination to GOD.you are young do not rush these things!!! i hope your mom is right!!! too many people are quick to jump on the gay band wagon cause they think everyone is gay and it is just a different lifestyle!!! wrong it is far more important than that! do not be deceived and GOD bless you in your search for truth!
2007-12-07 07:32:55 · answer #10 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋