Please help?

Question

I am 30 yrs old. My ex-boyf broke up with me a few months ago. The break up was very hard for me. He broke up due to long-distance. I was very hurt about the break up as I really loved him and still do now. He has always called me back after the break up and we even met a couple of times. But he doesn't want to let go. About a month ago, he called me and said he needs to see me. This was shortly after I told him that I am going travelling for a couple of months. He says he is too scared to loose me but he is not ready to come back to me. I was quite upset to see him leaving so I told him we must go separate ways and have no contact. He was upset but he said he has to accept it. But he called me last week saying he can't forget me and he thinks of me. But he then said he can't be with me now as I am going away to travel. He wants to meet when I come back from my travels. What should I do? I love him and he says he does too but I am so confused. I want to be with him but he says not now

Answer 1

Gee I would love to help you
but it is hard to do so on YA .......I can hear the pain in your type words.....Your heart is broke and that is a true pain....Even if you did not care about him you would still miss him .... Even if you RELAY HATED him all breaks up hurt.....but you did not do the breaking up he broke up with you .....Am not saying he hates you but he sure does not respect you and if you become his yo yo you. You
are not respecting you.......If he cared and loved you in return he would fix this and be so sorry he hurt you......When you love some one the other person is more important then your self.....It sounds like he is just keep you as his toy not as his beloved....He will never forget you and will always miss but missing someone and thinking of them is not loving them...
I can miss my High School teacher and never wil forget him and want to see him
Evey few years but I do not want to spend my life with him.......He is just part of my pass he was my teach .At one time he was part of my life ....That is all....It sounds like your EX is only thinking of his self .......
Think of it like this if a parnet told there child I love you BUT not now that would not be a loving parnet...........
LOVE is not a feeling but a decision...Each day we wake up we deside who we love ..LUST is a feeling.... It sound s like he just wants you around so he has some one while he looks for his SOUL mate he does not want to be lonely but when she cames he will drop you like a hot potatoe and marry her ....When he needs to see you do you have sex with him....I hope you are not having sex with him but if you are then you have turned into his bootie call .........All break up are hard. you were his girlfriend that is what you want to be again right not the other woman ......Set him free...if it meant to be he will return too you ........Have no contact with him give yourself time to heal.........You break up with him this time...
Tell him not to call, e-mail come over ..TEll him you do not want to see him ..... The only way is if he comes back to you and firgures how you do not have to have a long distance relationship, that he is truely sorry for hurting you......Honey I have know idea why you have a long distances relatonship .....When to people are in love they will move moutains to be together .....Not to be mean but you are 30 how many years are you going to let this jerk take from you ...If you keep letting him you may wake up at 35 crying on your pillow while he marries some other than you ...I read your question you seem like a smart young lady do not let HIM ABUSE YOU..........

Answer 2

My take on this is that he wants the security of knowing you are there for him but without the commitment to give your needs consideration. I think that the key here is that you told him that you must go separate ways and have no contact. he said he accepted that.........so why does he not honour that? So, that frightened him but if you want a healthy loving relationship with someone you should stick to your guns. It seems to me that he wants you to be missing him and hoping for a relationship but he is just using your love as a means of proping up his, probably, low self esteem and thinks it is better to keep you dangling rather than have no-one at all in his life.
I would suggest that whilst you travel you do not contact him at all and, when you come back, wait and see if he actually does contact you,
While you are away you will have time and distance to think about whether you really do love this man or whether you are just bolwed over by the thought that he might love you.

Answer 3

I don't know what to say he doesn't want to be with you but can't bear you having a life without him. Give it space, go travelling, then see what your perception is when you come back. maybe he does love you but is scared to commit but I think whatever will be will be, grab your opportunity of a lifetime and maybe when you return it'll have given him time to realise what he does want. Me and my fella were long distance for a long time, we live together now, we have been together 4 years and I'm pregnant so it can work.

Answer 4

Sounds like a typical guy to me:
1. Selfish motives
2. Evasion of committment

This is harsh, but in your heart I think you know I'm right. Surely he can see that his "changing gears" on you is killing you, and yet he keeps doing it. Maybe he's not consciously toying with you, but it seems obvious that he doesn't love or respect you the way you DESERVE!

It sounds like you have a lot of love to give. You need to be with a man who is capable of reciprocating, not a guy who just gives minimal effort.

Shake him off like a bad cold. Don't look back. He will contact you and say things will be different, but in the end he will return to selfishness and evasion. Leave this "guy" and find yourself a man.

Good luck

Answer 5

tell him you are going away on your travels, and in that time he needs to decide finally whether he wants you to be together or not. While your away, have no contact at all. This should give him space to make his mind up once and for all.

when you come back, you either get together or he stays away from you.

Answer 6

Why do you want to be with someone who is wishy washy? Find you a real man who lives near you that can take care of you and your needs. Come on Cindy, forget about him.

Answer 7

"too scared to loose me but he is not ready to come back to me." means = I want my cake and eat it too, I want to do the crime but not the time. I want you on the side but not by my side. Sorry dude, everyone's got to pay to play. Go on your travels and forget about this loser.

Answer 8

This reminds me of ways i grow to be approximately 2 months in the past. (My ex grow to be 2 timing me which i found out merely after he dumped me) besides, you ought to understand which you probably did no longer deserve a guy like him. There are billions of different men accessible and from them i'm specific that there is somebody who does no longer cheat on you. After breaking apart all of us takes their very own time to recover from their ex. Spend greater time with your human beings/kinfolk, hear to happy songs, get a activity, you ought to weblog approximately how and what you sense and merely be energetic. song, paintings and craft are a pair issues you ought to do. study the thank you to play an device, in line with risk draw anime or you ought to continuously do origami (There are a lot of classes/tutorials on youtube), Why waste it sluggish and harm your self clarification for a individual like him? you ought to continuously bypass to the college councelor or a psychiatrist.

Answer 9

go on your travels. he is keeping you hanging on a thread and its not fair on you. tell him before you go that its either full time or nothing when you get back. that way he has two months to sort his head out. go enjoy yourself and destiny will rule the rest.

Answer 10

Go ahead and travel. Let him miss you for a while. Then don't go back to him unless he proposes marriage.