Im pregnant with my bf's child, he wants me to move in to try out the relationship?

Question

we have been going out for half a year, we love each other. Im 28, he is 35.
I recently found out Im pregnant by accident, he said he will be supportive to whatever decision I make, and within time, he showed more that he wants to keep the baby. And he wants me to move in with him to try out the relationship. He said we should try to start to have a life together, he also said the relationship may fail. He is currently hunting for car for me and doing other preparation. but he didnt talk about marriage.
Im irritated, bcos I dont think its the right time to "try out" the relationship by living together, we should either get married if he wants to keep the baby or not get married and not having a baby. The "move in" thing shows he is very uncertain about the marriage and I probabely shouldnt count on him marrying me.
Im in America alone under lots of pressure for my PhD study, thats why Im not gonna have the baby alone, and adoption is not for me either.
should I do what he sugges

Answer 1

Well thats a tough decision. It sounds to me like he is stepping up to plate. Does he know how you feel about marriage? Maybe he doesnt want to jump the gun and make you feel like he is only marrying you because of the pregnancy. The question is do you love him? Are you willing to hold the relationship together because if its something that YOU dont really want to do, you shouldnt sacrifice what you want to do in life to "try out a relationship." However, if this is a man that you love and want to marry I think you should work on it. It sounds like hes not going to let you raise the baby on your own. Marriage isnt the only way to know for certain that you wont be a single mother. Divorce happens all the time.

Answer 2

Even though your present BF is doing the correct factor with the aid of the suggestion.. You have to make sure what's right with the aid of you and your little one. You probably have most effective known your boyfriend for 2 months, many things are still unknown about how you and him will be in a further month. As any individual that is married, and had been married for over three years when I had my son, a brand new youngster brings ALOT of stress into the connection. We've made it by means of the first 2.5 years with the child, however it isn't easy. I would pray and see where matters take you guys. On the grounds that you're alittle hormonal, jumping into a marriage so speedy could grow to be unhealthy or excellent... If you're unsure.. Simply wait until you're able! :)

Answer 3

Understand that I am NOT trying to rough you up here....ok? I am trying to provide the best answer for you.

You say that he should either get married and have the child or not marry and have no child. The problem is, there IS a child. If precaustions had been taken to not have a child, you wouldn't be in this situation. You already knew you were going for the PhD and you already knew this man wasn't strong enough in your life yet, yet you chose to have sex with him anyway.

I think that by offering you a life for right now, he is being a total gentelman and honorable. Some guys wouldn't even talk to you again. But, this man is trying to show that he can 'work' his way into wanting a life with you. He is getting a car for you and making preparations. He obviously wasn't ready and was blindsided, but he is TRYING to do the right thing.... He isn't offering marriage now, because he wants to know that this can work. And he has a right to that, because this was an accident...

You sound like you are annoyed with him for trying to do the the honorable thing.

You need to be accepting of his humanity and generosity, or tell him no and raise the child on your own, or give it to relatives.

Answer 4

Listen, don't make the mistake thousands of young girls make. Don't move in with him. If he fathered your child, then he should make the full committment and marry you. What does he mean by trying out the relationship? He should have thought of that before impregnating you. If he has reservations about his being in love with you, then make it quite clear that he is under no pressure to marry you. Abortion I assume is not an option, and you will keep the baby. Whether he marries you or not, he will have to support his child. If you are studying for your PhD, that is a little difficult, but things have a way of working out. Have your child, and maybe you can put the baby in day care while you finish your studies and then find a good job. Don't be pressured by him in moving in with him, as he will never marry you if you do...I would refuse his suggestion of cohabitation and tell him you are keeping the baby. Put the ball in his lap and take it from there....

Answer 5

I'd tell him exactly what you just said. You've been HAVING a relationship for six months so you're past 'trying OUT the relationship'. Moving in together is not the answer-getting married is. Your relationship is pretty new to be doing that but hey, you want to have sex like youre married then he needs to deal with the consequences and be committed to making it work. There's a ton of stuff that you guys seem to not have been talking about as a couple that you need to do now. Dont shy away from it.

I would encourage you, no matter what, not to have an abortion.

Answer 6

I think you should both sit down and talk both of you have a head on your sholders and should now what you both want in life the thing here is marriage tell him you know what I think we should think about this more and agree I have some principles and agrue it and tell him I am not going to live with you or any other man until I am married fine yes we have sex but that is okay need to really think about it is not and he does not want to help you the problem here is he does not want to commit to you. I think it is better of and anyway if he says no then tell him you are going to continue and live apart form him and try to get help like you can go to women infant and child and they can help you and the baby with food get a part time and see if someone can rent you a room in a house for just you and the baby get child care for the state go to the health and social services department they will for sure be able to help you.

Answer 7

I can hear you a bit about the "try out the relationship" thing. I dated someone for 2.5 years before we moved in together. During the 6 months togther we were just too different.

The decision to keep the baby should not be just his.

Be thankful that he's stepping to the plate and wants to make things work for the sake of the child. Obviously your passionate about wanting to be married. Sit him down and explain it to him.

Answer 8

I think living together is vastly superior to marrying simply because you are pregnant...less issues if you two find you aren't compatible living in the same household.

If you don't want to have a baby then get an abortion or put the child up for adoption after it's born...then all you need worry about is where the relationship with your boyfriend is going.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to see that you seem to feel that your only options are marriage or killing your child. I wish you would rethink adoption. It doesn't sound like you are in a good place to be a single mother, and it doesn't sound too promising that the father is going to step up and take responsibility. But why should that be a death sentence for your baby?

There are thousands of loving couples who can't have children that would take your baby and love him/her and give him everything they possibly can. Adoption would be the most loving and mature choice you could make under these circumstances.

Answer 10

I wouldn't. This isn't even a starter marriage, and at age 35 a man really should be mature enough and know in his heart if he wants to be married and a full time father.
I'd find a way to continue your independent life. Don't depend on him at all.
You screwed up you need to step up and deal with it. Don't cut him out if you don't want to, but he sounds like a very weak man. Not a man who is in love with you or who is ready to the huge responsibility of being a father. Playing house should not be in your cards.