help needed. i have been married for 10 yrs and these last 2 yrs of marrage have been hell. just moved into a house (over the summer) and i have fallen in love with my landlord. I day dream about him all day, i feel like I'm 15 yrs old. Can not say if the feeling is mutual but it scares me because i never felt like this b4 not even for my husband. What should I do??
2007-12-07 07:17:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
fyi Marrage has been hell because he drinks and hasn't worked in the past 2 yrs
2007-12-07 09:02:57 · update #1
My advice to you, you need to figure out what you want from your partner. If you are still in love with him and only lusting after the landlord, do not do anything. If the lovelife is over, you need to get a divorce and move on. Then the landlord is open game assuming he is not married of course.
2007-12-07 07:21:51 · answer #1 · answered by shelbyfireman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question is in your first sentence, "last 2 years of marriage have been hell."
It seems to me that if your marriage lasted 10 years before you became so attracted to another man, then the marriage is generally a good one.
Figure out what's gone wrong in the last 2 years and fix it. When you've done that I think your attraction to your landlord will fade away.
This is just a guess but it seems to me that you are seeing in your landlord what you no longer see in your husband (whether it's actually there or not). Talk to your husband. you have a good marriage, and you can make it better.
Good luck.
2007-12-07 07:28:09 · answer #2 · answered by a_niceguy_in_virginia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
" i feel like I'm 15 yrs old." You are not! You are a married women in serious need of help to save your marriage. You can't expect things to be allright if you start the relationship by cheating. Focus on why your marriage have been HELL and work on it. If you don't love your husband then you need to do some serious talking. But it is never wise to involve somebody else into a situation that obviously is very futile. For your own sake,,,I would desist and focus on my marriage to see if it could be safe. good luck
2007-12-07 07:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not fallen in love you've fallen in crush or in lust... probably because your husband has not been treating you well so you are making up fantasies of what you think you'd like with your landlord.
If you're still married are you attempting to work it out? Or are you separating?
Don't do anything til after your divorce is final. and you figure out how you screwed up your marriage before having crushes.
You cool your jets , get your life together, enjoy being a single woman for awhile finalise the old marriage or move on and only then think about other relationships.
good luck
2007-12-07 07:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by teritaur 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Elizabeth, I know that this is hard but these feelings have to die down somehow because your married you know. Cheating on your husband would not be your solution, I feel as if you would just feel the same way if you spent it with the other guy. YOu see ten years is a lot of time and yeah maybe your feelings died down a bit for you husband but I think you should really try setting your mind into making it work! :) Hope this helps you!
2007-12-07 07:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by sweetheartforever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've got been married for 2 many years and that i strengthen crushes each and all the time! it fairly is widespread. we are human and our instincts won't be able to be denied. you ought to not sense ashamed of your undertaking. all of us fantasize approximately intercourse and attraction. You point out some thing very exciting; which you're flirting with an 'off limits individual'. Are there people who're no longer 'off limits'? have you ever been untrue to your companion? If the respond is not any, there is not any longer something to rigidity approximately, as long as you do no longer act out your delusion or develop into obsessed to the factor of neglecting your modern-day duties as a spouse! relish your delusion and don't torture your self over this!
2016-11-14 19:15:45 · answer #6 · answered by mccumber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who did somewhat the same thing. I ment a guy and I thought I was 15 again, but then I look at my hubby and remeber that I love him alot more than the person I had a crush on. Just keep in mind the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
2007-12-07 07:42:40 · answer #7 · answered by krollamyben 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven`t already then by all means have a roll in the bed with your landlord at the very first opportunity. That will tell you more about what you should do than all of us combined. I suspect your husband has got something going on outside the house any way don`t you?
2007-12-07 07:43:48 · answer #8 · answered by Mr. Un-couth 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have started to have feelings for someone else because your marriage is unhappy and unsatisfying. Your landlord just happens to be the person your feelings drifted to. The part about you daydreaming and feeling like you are 15 is just your mind showing you that this is how you want to feel about someone. Try working on your marriage and see if you can redirect those feelings back to your partner.
2007-12-07 07:23:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your married life is in hell, think twice!
We are here in this world to be happy, why not try to give your heart a chance to glow if your husband turtured you?
Be friend to your landlord and be happy. If your landlord have feeling on you, then give him a chance to makelove with you.
2007-12-07 14:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by cuckold 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋