how do you not get angry when people try to define who you are ?

Question

i stumble accross people sometimes who talk like they think they no me better than i do.

this makes me really angry and i finish up wishing something terrible would happen to them

im 30, i have borderline personality disorder......ive had a very difficult life....sexual abuse..victimization bullying etc..

ive completley missed out on employment...gaining qualifications....ive missed out on making friends....being in a relationship the whole lot.

i live alone in a one bedroom flat...on benifits...i own no posessions except a computer.
i have a criminal history, not a serious one but one never the less....i have a mental health history..obviously.

im trying to get help from the psychiatric services which is proving slow.
ive aged...i have physical imperfections..im bald, have torn ankle ligaments..2 missing teeth. have an old face.

some guy said days ago ' think of rambo when your going through hard times '

i felt like ripping his head off...i hate rambo and i hate stallone to

the guy made me clench my teeth.....i hated to be thought of
like rambo. i felt like smashing his skull in.

and i hated him even more for saying it.

what am i going to do in my life.....how will i achieve my goals
at this late stage?
goals of having a loving partner...a ok job...a home by the coast
in a small village.
these goals from here seem so unobtainable. im isolated and alone.

feel outcasted...people are aloof and standoffish to me.

and, how will i deal with people who try to define me as a person ?

Answer 1

Hey you are not alone! there are millions of people in the same boat as you...whats so special about you? stop feeling sorry about yourself and make the effort to get on in life! Rambo? stop faffing aboot and get on with it hinnie!

Answer 2

Sure. It must be very....isolating.
This is what I would do, if I were you.
1) Self improvement. Read psychology books. Ones that are in some way pertinent to the condition that you have. You can then "see" yourself through the eyes of a psychologist. It will give you perspective to make changes.
2) Monitor yourself. Keep a diary on you constantly. When you notice yourself "not being normal", write it down. Time, date everything..The idea is to increase self awareness, to guard against inconsistency or lapses in your behaviour. In other words, normalise yourself.
3) You dont have much money for food. Eat fruit and vegetables. Why? Because a lot of people who have "conditions" or "personality disorders" often lack some vitamin or enzyme, which exaserbates their conditions. You will only help yourself by trying to eat well.
4) Walk several miles every day. Think positive thoughts, every day.
If you do these things for 3 months, you will be a whole lot healthier, mentally and physically.
The rest? It can happen, but not before you take the above steps, and rigorously apply them for a few months.

Answer 3

Do you think that was an over-reaction on your part for wanting to rip his head for saying a rambo comment? Goals never age. Look at senior citizens who go back to school and get a degree, goals never die. Psychiatric counseling sounds about right at this point for you, possibly a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist, your pick, whatever you are comfortable with. I agree with you, who knows you better than...you! Maybe you could make a list of your goals and take them into your counselor for you two to discuss how you could obtain them, and if they are reasonable. I am guessing anger managment is an issue too? I think you have taken positive steps, keep it up!

P.S. Nevermind the comments about you feeling sorry for yourself. It sounds like you have had it rough and have went through some tough times, maybe a little angry about things not working out how you wanted them to; keep pushing forward with your counseling.

Answer 4

First off, take a deep breath...stop thinking about yourself as the bad guy, so what if your not rich, famous and what not! Everyone's got a soppy story to tell, it's what we do with our shitty lives that counts. Life is for living in the sunlight, not rotting away in the shade. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it! You've got alot to live for!

Answer 5

Yes you definitely have problems, and they sound like problems that won't be corrected in a week. You have deep issues and mental problems, that will be extremely difficult to over come. To be honest i doubt i would have any good advice i could give you. You really do need to do this for yourself!

Answer 6

you R who u R, no word can define how you feel, do not let people change you from a 'person' to 'beast' cuz that wht people do, they have nothing else to do, but to 'Judge', remba 'Only GOD can Judge you', if you feel you are changing then change for the good, change for 'yourself', life is very uncertain, you never knw wht might come up in the way of life but you can definitely make a difference by 'helping your self & other' who feel same as you do, its a big world out there man, some people have worse problems then you & i thk u knw tht, the way i see it 'you' will have to save 'yourself', loads of people will not accept you as wht you are, I say 'does their opionion matter ? ask yourself are you bad or good ? donot let any body else decide that for you, the Choice is YOURS, always have been, take life by the scruff of the neck.....

Answer 7

For me that is call boss. I have so many around who me know better than I know myself, heh. That can be a sore point so let's not go there.

Answer 8

think positively.do not dwell on the bad things but use your goals as your inspiration to make your life better.there's still hope.

Answer 9

They better keep their definitions to themselves.