I just got done reading someone else's question about how they felt marriage was pointless and wasn't a commitment at all. That really mad me sad to read - doesn't anyone see how great marriage is anymore? Doesn't anyone see the benefits of being in a stable marriage? Am I the only one who loves being married? lol
2007-12-07 05:46:29 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
*made me sad
2007-12-07 05:46:52 · update #1
I've been married 5.5 years to my high school sweetheart! :) And btw we were both virgins when we married. I wouldn't change a thing!
2007-12-07 06:08:58 · update #2
Marriage is work and noone wants to invest in it. I think people get feelings similar to love and run with it. What happened to long engagements and living together before marriage? I wondered the same thing. Divorce is so high because ppl rush into it and arent necessarily truely in love. My mom told me if you cant picture yourself 80 on a porch on your rocker and looking over at your man and still loving everything he is, stands for and is about.... you dont need to be with him.
I pictured my hubby old with wrinkles, bald, tall and skinny with false teeth. At that point hes not hot, hes distinquished and handsome. I will love all the wrinkles, hand him his hearing aids giving him something to eat as i rub his bald speckled head. Hed be a cute old man. Yes i love him and yes i cant wait to watch our grand children playing in our yard as we sit on the porch, feeling nothing but pride. We have 50 years to go yet til 80. If it werent for us and our love there would be no grandchildren to be proud of.
Its not handed to ppl, you have to work to make it a success.
2007-12-07 06:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by izzabella_74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree. People tend to hear the statistics and blame the INSTITUTION of marriage instead of taking a deeper look at the problems that cause the break up. I believe the institution of marriage itself is a wonderful thing and can be great when carried out with wisdom, kindness, and love. But within those 50% who are getting divorced, there are teen couples who are only getting married because the girl is pregnant....or highschool sweethearts who have never experienced anything else so they get the wandering eye.....or people who went into marriage thinking that would solve all the r'ship issues they already had but it doesn't obviously. Marriage itself is a wonderful thing. The reason there is such a high divorce rate is because alot of people these days don't have a clue what one should consider before getting married.
2007-12-07 05:54:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are a person unwilling to try, then marriage isn't any more of a commitment than living together. What makes a marriage a marriage is the two people in it, not the license. I am happily married. I just wonder what is going to happen to this generation of kids that are raised either without a father, or in two homes, not really having a home of their own. Everyone says kids adjust, and they do, but not always in a good way..............
2007-12-07 06:18:44 · answer #3 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the current generation of people getting married or people who have been married for a little while now are people that grew up in a time when a ridiculously high number of divorces occurred. If you compare your grandparents era to your parents you'll understand what I mean, divorce was almost unheard of. So I think these folks, myself included, just kind of grew up in situations that didn't really portray marriages in very positive light.
2007-12-07 05:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by Flavor Vortex 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because our culture is a "fast food" society. Meaning they want everything on their own terms and fast. Marriage is never about that. Marriage is hard work. Marriage has wonderful things about it - but it's not easy. You have to change, your spouse has to change, you have to compromise, you have to learn to live with certain things you wouldn't have to if you were alone....the list goes on. When people don't find immediate happiness or satifaction of their needs - they're unhappy and want out. What they don't get is - that will go on and on and on and on. Now, I'm not talking about people who get left or are abused or cheated on - that's a whole other story. Most people are just plain old unhappy. These people need to stand up for values, stand up for the sanctity of marriage and do what it takes.
I say this knowing I am having a hard time in my own marriage but I'm not looking to get out. Just looking to have it get better. My husband isn't disposable.
I fear for our society. I've also noticed everything else getting darker (look at video games and tv for crying out loud - violence and sex pervade all of it). They make hooch clothes for grade school girls...what business does a 5 year old have wearing a half shirt and shoes with chunky heels...hello!!!! People need to wake up and smell the decline. Be part of the solution - not the problem. Sorry - that went off topic - but I just think it's all symptomatic of our values as a society. If we have any left...
I know there are a lot of good people out there...but why does our voice always seem softer...good for you for standing up for marriage. :)
2007-12-07 05:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by WutheringHeights73 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone feels the way you do...not everyone feels the way your friend does either.
Plus, not all marriages are stable or healthy.
Many people still view marriage as a sacred lifetime commitment. Others view it as people used to view "going steady"...a commitment to be monogamous to each other and own stuff together as long as you feel this way about each other...which right now, feels like forever.
I think it's because divorce is easier now and is viewed as socially acceptable. Where, 50 years ago, a divorced woman was "used goods" and often looked-down-upon by the community, so they avoided divorce at all costs.
It's also the result of the new "me" attitude. It's all about the individual now. Faith is about your individual relationship with God, Twix is now "two for me, none for you" when their commercials used to emphasize how nice it is to have one for yourself and the other to share, "Cheez It - Get your own box.", etc... We see messages everywhere that our own personal happiness and freedom is the number one priority. Not that long ago, family and community were #1.
People just say "well, if you're not happy, move on to someone or something new."
2007-12-07 05:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Angela H 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The younger generation doesn't see marriage the same as the older generation. My generation doesn't see that marriage is the same as living with someone but having a piece of paper and ring that says your "married." Which is the truth.
2007-12-07 05:49:10 · answer #7 · answered by USAGUY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People now-a-days are spoiled. Weve come to acostomed to the fact that we have a lot of choices. We say that were making a commitment when we marry- but now ppl are bailing out at the very sign of complications. Back then people were taught to just deal with it and make it work.
Dont get me wrong, sometimes divorce is absolutley necessary- but in the same sense societys ppl just are in it for themselves. Regardless of how it 'used to be'. Its a dog eat dog world, and almost no one is willing to stick around and 'try' to fix things- we simply just move on.
All in all, be happy that you love your marraige. Your exactly what the majority of America wanted but just cant seem to acheive. Be thankful.
So high-5 to you for your enthusiasm on marraige- i hope to be in your shoes one day.
♥ KC
2007-12-07 05:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love being married to my wife, but unfortunetly in todays world marriage is a friggen joke. Look, it's supposed to be a sacred matramoney but "reality" TV pimps out men & women to compete for a marrage to a person they've know for a month. As much as people hate it, gay marriage is the only one that really works. I'm for gay marriage cuz who's to say two men or women cant love nor marry eachother. People just hate & say it's pose to be for men & women. I mean look at celebrities, they marry & re-marry multiple times. Liz Taylor got like 8 husbands? As for me, I love my wife to death & love being married to her. But most people either get married for wrong reasons, too early in life and/or relationship or they just think it's the right thing to do. Just worry & care about your own like I do & thas all u can do. Cuz like they say...to each there own & it is what it is!
2007-12-07 05:53:27 · answer #9 · answered by cza227 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are definitely benefits to being in a stable marriage, but that's the problem. So many people are in a marriage where one person is constantly busting they're *** to make it work and the other person takes advantage.
2007-12-07 05:52:15 · answer #10 · answered by shasta 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋