I got pregnant a few months ago (currently 21 weeks).. my ex has agreed from the beginning to take full financial responsibility for this child- but wasn't "emotionally" ready for a kid and didnt want him in his life-- he BEGGED me to get an abortion. We have had NO problems agreeing with him paying child support for my son, but now his lawyer is telling him that if he's paying 20% he might as well get to see the kid-- my ex is NOT a good man- after we broke up i found out he was messing around with young girls (14 years old.. and he's 27) he lied to me about SO much and is NOT the person i thought he was.. i dont want him around my son as this kind of influence!!!-- he agreed to sign over his custody/visitation rights because he wanted NOTHING to do w/ my son- now all of a sudden he's telling me that since i made a decision he didnt like (not getting the abortion) he was going to make one i didnt like (going after some form of custody)
2007-12-07 05:11:32 · 9 answers · asked by missyd1605 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
love my son so much- more than life itself... and his father doesnt want ANYTHING to do w/ him him up until 2 days ago-- there can not possibly be a way for him to all of a sudden decide he "wants" him off and on just because he has to pay child support now, is there?!
Hes in legal trouble (probation and cant leave his hometown, Boston MA for 3 years) for violating an order of protection set up on behalf of this 14 year old girl's mother.... he's just been in so much legal trouble and now that I know all these horrible thigns about him im so afraid of him being around my son-- he will never have his best interest @ heart and will never protect him.. you cant care about someone you dont even LOVE! And he's really doing this JUST to spite me!!!! Ugh-- help PLEASE!
2007-12-07 05:12:12 · update #1
the courts ALWAYS let parents see their biological children. If he is a dangerous person, than he will get supervised visits with a court official. you went to bed with him and made a child, now you must face the consequences.
2007-12-07 09:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by sugarpie2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I somewhat went through the same thing as you ( but I would not say that the father was a horrible person ) just really wanted nothing to do with the child. Child support and visitation with a child in the courts eyes are two different things. They are handled seperately . If you feel that he is honestly a dangerous person then you need to prove that in court. Also until a blood test is done he really does not have to pay child support unless he has no question that the child is his ( just mentioning that incase he goes that route ). At age 10 the father of my son petitioned the courts for visitation and now at age 14 my son chooses not to go ( in most states they have a choice at this age unless a parent is proven unfit ). I have tryed to encourage my son to at least go and have dinner sometimes only because I do not want him to have regrets later in life. This father was not the best with understanding kids and had made quite a few mistakes but as parents we do not come with directions and some people are good with kids some are not. In a nut shell what I'm trying to say is if he is honestly a bad person you'll be able to prove that and I can't see him getting more than supervised visitation. If you feel like right now there is just anger between the two of you please try to remember that putting a child in the middle of a custody case is really never good for the child. I really wish you luck and hope that all goes well. Do make sure you get an attorney.If he's record is for seeing this 14 year old girl I really can't see the courts giving him anything.
2007-12-07 05:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't really matter what you want now. This man will be the father of your child because you allowed it to happen and chose to keep the baby. These are FACTS.
As a father (good/bad) he has rights and you can not take those away.
All you really can do is get a lawyer and spend the money to try and stop him from having his rights enforced.
It does not matter if he is only enforcing his rights out of spite or not. They still are his rights. You have to accept them as he had to accept your right to choose what you wanted to do with the child in you.
Now it is your choice to spend this money that could go for raising and feeding the child or try and get your way in the court system.
Personally, I think if there is this much drama already then you have clearly made some bad decisions already and need to grow up. Its no longer about just YOU, you will now have to worry about your child and what they want and need.
2007-12-07 05:46:48 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
In a situation like this my suggestion would be to cut ALL ties completely, including financial.
With him paying support he does have a right to see his child... if he signs over all rights to you, child support is not an option. By signing over his rights he signs over EVERYTHING, putting everything into your hands.
you have to decide what is more important here, your childs well being, or money. The visitations would most likely be supervised because of his history, but you can't have your cake and eat it too. Either hes completely out, or completely in (meaning visitation).
2007-12-07 06:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm... this is a sick man, tell the judge everything, bring proof, bring documents, oh, hmmm... lots of problems these days w/ men contacting teens! ugh! if there were more consequences to these things, people would not disobey the law... I think... anyway...
sounds like my brother, he went for custody so he would not have to pay child support, and, the bastard won! ugh! so, fight, and fight some more, but, fight w/ dignity, not dirty crap... don't give up, get a good lawyer... yes, this sick man should have to pay anyway even if he's not allowed to see the child because he's a pedophile! oh, and move away from that city since he is not allowed out of it for 3 years! =)
good luck, please let us know the outcome...
that man is lucky he's still alive... if that happened to me, my dad woulda killed the bastard...
2007-12-07 05:28:00 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any judge in their right mind will not give his azz custody because of his status with the 14 yr old. He signed over his rights to not have anything to do with the baby so that should stand firm. Get you a good lawyer and talk to them about the situation.
2007-12-07 05:25:21 · answer #6 · answered by Bree 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but if you are making this man pay for the child, he should be able to see the child too. I don't care if he is Charles Manson, I feel that if a woman or the state is going to force a man to be a part of his child's life by paying child support, that man should be able to be IN that child's life. You can try to make the visitations supervised, but if you don't want him to have any contact with this child, you shouldn't take his money, plain and simple.
2007-12-07 05:18:32 · answer #7 · answered by littlevivi 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If he is a convicted pedophile, he is not allowed to be around children. Whether it is his own, or someone else's. I hope you have an attorney.
2007-12-07 05:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
the divorce jugde will read his criminal/probation record then laugh at him then ask you both to leave..
you with your child, him with his probation still intact.
2007-12-07 05:16:28 · answer #9 · answered by brandonlahman 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋