She Is Suffercating Me?

Question

I am 14 years old,, pretty smart for my age,, loads of great friends,,good life,, but am still not happy because when i come home from school all my friends go owt,, with mates from school,, my mum wont let me do this becuase she doesnt like the idea of me walking the streets,, Am 14 and i feel like i have no Life,, She never seems to trust me if i come back from a friends house smelling of smoke or when she picked me an a mate up one nite we wer the only 2 girls omong alod of lads,, all my other mates can stay out till like 9 9:30 10 at nite is there anything i can say or do to make her change her mind or start lettin me out,, I am never home late from anything an very reliable, I just feel as if she isnt lettin me grow up

I am 14 years old,, pretty smart for my age,, loads of great friends,,good life,, but am still not happy because when i come home from school all my friends go owt,, with mates from school,, my mum wont let me do this becuase she doesnt like the idea of me walking the streets,, Am 14 and i feel like i have no Life,, She never seems to trust me if i come back from a friends house smelling of smoke or when she picked me an a mate up one nite we wer the only 2 girls omong alod of lads,, all my other mates can stay out till like 9 9:30 10 at nite is there anything i can say or do to make her change her mind or start lettin me out,, I am never home late from anything an very reliable, I just feel as if she isnt lettin me grow up
The only reason i came in smelling of smoke it because my friends mum and dad smokes

Answer 1

Your mum has been 14

Trust her on this one


PS
I think you will find that she trusts you, but not the others.

Answer 2

Well, I sympathise - I'm a mum but I can still remember my teenage years (with a very strict mum) so well. I know at your age you feel as if you're the only one with these restrictions but believe me, you're not. Trouble is, you won't appreciate where your mum is coming from until you're a mother yourself - sorry!

Children are incredibly precious to their parents and my guess is that your mum is just concerned for your safety, and perhaps doesn't trust some of your friends. I certainly won't let my daughter just walk the streets because *anything* could happen and that's your life ruined or over in the blink of an eye.

Try talking to your mum and reaching a compromise but there are some terrible people out there so I can see where she's coming from. Probably not what you want to hear but I certainly wouldn't let my precious daughter out on the streets at night with a load of boys :-)

Answer 3

She is just looking out for you. My mom won't let me go after the street lights come on by myself because she is afraid I might get into some kind of trouble (like some guy might try and kidnap me or something, that kind of trouble)

Why would you come home smelling like smoke anyway?

I'm sure she is just doing what all mothers do; worrying about her child's safety.

Answer 4

hi there it sounds like your mun is just worried. a good idea would be to sit down and come to a compromise if everyone is allowed to stay out till ten o clock maybe you could build up her trust by coming home a little earlier and also sit down talk to her let her know how you feel without getting annoyed let her see she can trust you.

Answer 5

Your mum is only doing what she thinks is best for your safety.
It's not that she doesn't trust you but she knows what it safe for you especially as a young girl.
I would try & tell her how it is making you feel & try to set new boundrys & curfews & wait till something important coes up for you like a party etc & use it to prove you can be trusted.

Answer 6

To be fair she's worrying after you. I'd sit down and point out that although you know you are still a child you are old enough to know better than to get yourself into trouble. At the end of the day you live your life not hers and the mistakes are yours to be made. You'll learn from them. she can't be forever guarding you.

Answer 7

Well I'm 15 and:
1. I'm not allowed to go to parties.
2. I'm not allowed to have friends over, or go to any of my friends houses.
3. I'm not allowed to date until I'm 21.
4. I'm pretty much condemned to live under the strict teachings of my parents until I'm free to go.
But to tell you the truth, I'm kinda happy with how I'm living right now. Because, my future is looking bright :D
And, I don't have to worry about high school drama :D
Which is nice, since it does not seem all that fun to get into such a mess.

Answer 8

ive totally been there, my mum was exactly the same at your age, she just does it because she loves you and is worried about you, i kno you probably dont believe me, i wouldnt have at your age but its true, once when i was 14 i went to my gay male friends house when his parents were out and she grounded me and banned me from going up there because she thought we were getting up to something BUT HE'S GAY! lol . try talking to her, explain to her that you are responsible and that she should trust you more ask her to give you a chance to prove yourself, if she never lets you out how does she know she cant trust you? i think you should definately talk to her, if she lets you out once and you prove to her that you are reliable and trustworthy then she will probably start letting you out more. hope you can get through to her goo luck

Answer 9

Well I kind of have the same situ! I'm the youngest of 3 (I'm 15!) and my whole family treat me like a princess. I'm not aloud a job and I have to get all my money from my parents (trust me it gets crappy!) and I'm not aloud to use public transport! My big bro (18) has to drive me everywhere (also crappy cause he know's who I'm with and all that! Really annoying cause he's quite overprotective and my big bro and sis baby me alot!!). You could watch my question (similar to this) for the advice that I get!!

Answer 10

shes doing her job when your much older and have teenage daughters you will understand. shes protecting you

i would have flipped out if you were my kid and i found you in a group of guys your a little girl still act like it. its also illegal for you to smoke or drink

there is no good in being out after dark at your age you could be kidnapped raped and killed your mom is right

Answer 11

you got to trust your mum on this one... this will not last forever and you will soon be leaving home and worrying about your own family, then you will realise where your mum is coming from.
Whilst under her roof, you have to do as she says