I work 10 hours a day 5 days a week, my wife stays at home with our 1 year old and 2 year old.?

Question

Am I wrong for getting upset that the house is never clean? She is wonderful with the kids, dinner is almost always ready when I get home but the house is almost always dirty. I love her but this is getting to me. If I try to talk to her about it, it always ends up in a fight. Am I wrong and what should I do?

Answer 1

Maybe she is a little overwhelmed with the two young children. It is difficult to keep a home tidy when there are young children. If I were you, I would hire a cleaning woman once every two weeks to do all the heavy work for your wife. Give her a break. At least she takes good care of the children and that is the most important thing she can do. When your kids grow up, they will always remember when Mommy read to us, played with us, taught us new things, and they won't remember that the house was a mess. So get over it right now and hire a cleaning woman for your wife. As the children grow, she will be more organized and the house will be neater. And if not, keep the cleaning woman and your devoted wife, the mother of your two children.

Answer 2

Well according to Salary.com the lowest national would-be salary for an American mom with more than one child would be $76,856. The house is such a mess because she's doing such a wonderful job with the kids and dinner is always ready when you get home. She's not sitting on her butt all day. I would set aside 20 minutes an evening where you and your wife are doing some cleaning. This is enough time to get a load of dishes done, a bathroom clean, or a load of laundry pushed through and the stuff in the dryer folded. You could also get a few rooms swept of vacuumed in that amount of time. You both are tired at the end of the day, so keep it under a half an hour and do it every night.

Answer 3

It's nice to come home to a clean house, but with the ages of your children, I would find that darn near impossible! How about this, work on a compromise. On the days that you bring home dinner, she can make sure the house looks clean when you come home. You better give her some notice before coming home though because battling with 2 toddlers can be very trying! Call her at least an hour or two before leaving work if you plan on trying this! It could be a win-win situation as long as you don't push the whole clean house thing on her all the time. I seriously would get tired of hearing you complain after dealing with 2 toddlers all day! It's no wonder it always ends up in a fight. After all, you don't hear her going to your place of work & criticizing you? Why do that to her? She is at work 24/7!

Answer 4

Taking care of babies is tough very time consuming work. You work 10 hours but she works 24. She cant just stop taking care of the kids to pick up the house. The kids are going to become who they are because of the time she spends with them. I was the same way. I had 4 kids all about a year apart and I had to decide which I was going to worry about more...picking upor playing, holding, feeding, changing, holding, loving my babies or stressing about my housework. My kids and house were never dirty as in actual dirt or germs kinda dirty but messy and cluttered sure. You and her can have a very nice civil conversation about this situation and you can request things of her and also accept that she cant do everything. You can also vollenteer to take on a household job or 2 to help out and make things around the house pleasent for you and show her you understand what she does all day is very important. Like ask that the clothes be done or atleast orderly, the dishes be done or the kitchen be straightened, or your favorite area (chair or whatever) be the way you like it. Something that a lot of men and even some women dont understand is that taking care of a baby or 2 requires all your time but evenharder is it takes all your attention, your thoughts, your physical presence, everything and conversing with a baby all day and no adult interaction is like being in jail in solitary. Its hard and eats at you gradually. Be understanding, they wont be babies forever and she needs the time to give them what they need and what she needs. Once they are grown...theres no going back if you regret anything. You cant spend time with them later..with a growing baby there is no later..they change almost daily and need you/her through it all. The house on the other hand can be cared for when they are a bit older and nothing is lost. Its not worth the fight.

Answer 5

it's difficult to keep a house clean with a 2 year old and a 1 year old running around, so cut her a little slack (especially since you say she excels in other areas). but if it's a really dirty, unhygienic house, then that's not healthy for the kids and something needs to be done. this is a tough call, and you should definitely tread lightly. being a stay at home mom is a full time job, but she should put some effort into keeping the house in shape. is the a new thing? was she a better house keeper before the kids? if so, definitely give her a break, she's probably stretched very thin.

Answer 6

I know that you probably work very hard on your job, But you only work 10 hours a day, your wife is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't know if you help her around the house to help clean, but taking care of a 1 and 2 years old is not easy. Not only that, her body is still healing from the first one, then she had another one. Does she ever get some time to herself, to do something just for herself, or is she always a wife and mother and not allowed to be herself. You take over the kids on saturday and sunday and see how much you get done taking care of them, and cleaning house. Never say your job is worse then theirs, unless you have done there job, and remember your body is not still healing. There is a lot of mental strain also. So the way to handle this, is not talk about it, but get in there and help do it. I bet she cleans up after you, herself, and two babies. Not an easy job. Hang in there and work together You'll be happy you did.

Answer 7

For awhile when Mary and I were raising our four (4) children, for about 2 years we also had two(2) nephews to care for. There were six (6) children from new born, to 7 years old, in the house. I was traveling, as a factory rep., and gone 2 to 4 nights a week.
Mary wore herself down, to the point of physical exhaustion, and this caused additional problems. Your wife maybe doing the best she can. On the other hand, if she is waisting time watching " As the gut turns", "Nights of our misery's", or such tripe, maybe there COULD be some 'clean up time' not being best utilized.
At the same time, if YOU watch any 'sports' during the weekends, then just maybe there is some time, when the two of you can 'pull the plow at the same time'.
Just an ol' mans observations. Hope everything works out, for the two of you, o.k.

Answer 8

I am 37, married, but without kids. I see it as my job to have the house clean and such. Kids make it alot harder. My parents always had one day in the week that EVERYONE had to pitch in for an hour and clean up our rooms and common living area. Your children are too young for this, but it may be a good future reference. The ages of your children are probably keeping her from getting anything done. Kids that age need to be watched constantly, so she probably can't keep up with them and clean up too. Try taking out the trash or washing the dishes every so often so she doesn't resent having to do the "chores". It will also let her know that you realize that things like that don't get done by magic. Give her praise when the house is even the teeniest bit cleaner. Or if all this fails, you could invest in some blinders! ;)

Answer 9

I think that cleaning the house is part of the job description of staying home with the kids. I've done it for almost 30 years. Raised 5 kids. I cleaned my house thoroughly once a week, and cleaned up regular messes, dishes, etc. every day. Vacuumed 2 or 3 times a week depending. It's not that difficult to do, if it is kept on top of.

In my opinion, you're out there providing the roof over their heads, working 10 hour days 5 days a week, you're doing your share and she needs to step up and do hers too.

Answer 10

Yes, you are wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it is to chase after kids? You may work 10 hours, but what about her? When you come home, are you helping her out? Or is she still chasing after the kids and getting things done around the house? It is not easy being a stay at home mom. I was one and its rewarding, but can be difficult too. Cut her some slack, help her out a little bit or maybe you should let her go out for 10 hours one day during the weekend, and see how much you get done with the kids needing to be taken care of.