I loved someone and told her that I want to marry her and she told me that she wont be able to think me more than a good friend, I am on job and she just started and want to make her career, she is very good, has a lot of friends and wants me as a friend too, but I just cant think myself as a friend, I dont know what to do, when I work I am much happier as I can keep her out of my mind but it hurts me whenever I am alone, she still mails me and asks how I am time to time as she does to all of her friend but she does not know how much it is hurting me, but I just cant say that too... I think I am going to burst....
2007-12-07 04:38:19 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I need your help, if you have time and you want to help , you can mail me at crantz_2005@yahoo.com
2007-12-07 05:09:13 · update #1
Were you ever in a relationship with her? It sounds to me like you dropped the "marriage" bomb before you even got out of the friend arena, which surely scared her off. It'll get better with time. Next time, allow a relationship to grow between both of you. Just because you think she's pretty great doesn't mean it was meant to be.
2007-12-07 04:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Simmy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you can't handle having her as a friend, then you need to tell her that. Stop opening the mail from her, and you have to move on. If not as you say you will burst. You can't make someone love you, so you have to move on. Channel your interests some where else. It is time to move on, and you need to do this before you are alone for the rest of your life. Go to a counselor and work through this, before you drive yourself crazy.
2007-12-07 12:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes friends turn into lovers and sometimes lovers turn into friends. So you have a choice, you can go on being friends with her and feel like your ribs are caving in and squeezing the air right out of you, or, you can be up front with her and tell her you can't do this and if you're going to get on with your life, then you are sorry but you're going to have to end your friendship with her.
There is only so much you can take, don't waste your life unless you truely feel it's her you want to be with. I did it for 5 years and I wasted so much time with it that I ALMOST missed the person I was really meant to be with. When you find that person it's just so powerful and unreal you KNOW it was meant to be. She may not be that into you.
2007-12-07 12:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by mirmade13 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i was where u are now, my friend. I'm telling u, it has been a year that i got myself away from that person, and it still hurts. The more u see her, the longer the pain will last even afterwards, and more painful. So, if there is no open door for ur hope, u must get away from her. Accept her emails gracefully, and reply them in short forms. For example, "hey Mary, nice to hear from u. I'm quite busy at the moment, but i'll get back to u soon. God bless u xo."
2007-12-07 12:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Best thing for you to do is express how you feel to her lay it all down and if she says no then tell her kindly that you have too many feelings for her that you cannot continue to be friends because it hurts too much. And let her go. Time is your best friend right now soon you will find someone else.
" If you let go the one you love and they never came back you never had them- but if they do come back love them forever"
2007-12-07 12:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Awww... Thats so sad. Maybe you should tell her that she needs to stop mailing you and cut out all forms of communication with her. Explain to her how much it hurts and she will have to understand. It sucks for you but it will get better. Try going out on a date with someone to get her off your mind. Find an activity to do.
2007-12-07 12:42:58 · answer #6 · answered by jmc24 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has been honest with you and told you she just wants to be friends, leave it at that and move on, of coarse stay friends with her and start looking for someone to date, maybe she will grow to love you if you don't crowd her and simply treat her as a friend, she will see the real person that you are, sorry for your sadness.
2007-12-07 12:44:06 · answer #7 · answered by Minustone 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think its just normal for her to say that. Marrying her just puts more stress on her. Like now your probably free to do what ever you want and she could too. Once ur married theres probably restriction to where can go and where she could go. Then problems comes and then arguments, Save the marriage thing to another time.
2007-12-07 12:43:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
before i say anything, i just want you to know, that i'm saying this like a sister giving advice to a little brother....THIS is why she left, this constant...whatever you wanna call it. i seriously think you should take a vacation from her, and just take a look at the situation and see if it's really worth all this stress. if it's not ment to be, then don't push it. seriosuly, i say this with 100% respect towards you, just take a breather and clear your mind of this, and the answer will come to you bud. good luck
2007-12-10 08:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by mnd_hunt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whoa!!! i feel ya. i was the same way over this guy i knew and it was tearing me apart. you are going to have to keep your mind busy with other things for awhile. it will get better in due time. and for the mail she sends... just have the postmaster to resend it back to her for awhile. how can you be accepting mail from a lady that turned you down from marriage. you need time to heal and reformat your brain from being on her. Good Luck!!!
2007-12-07 12:50:05 · answer #10 · answered by 'Fed'Up'07 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋