Supposed you'd been married 7 years. What if your partner came to you and said that they are super happy and want a continuous future with you, BUT, they just met someone that they have a super bond with and just want one night of passion. Up till this point, you trust your partner and are very happy.... Would you allow this one night?
2007-12-07 04:33:11 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, it is not possible to fulfill every need your husband/wife has. That's not realistic. Some needs we have to be able to fulfill ourselves because no one but us can fill them.
That being said, what they're asking for is not about needs - it's about desire and lust which is completely different. So I would think long and hard about saying yes, because it will change everything about your marriage and relationship with your spouse. Once you say yes and our spouse has that one night, regardless of what you think or feel now, AFTER all is done, your feelings can change radically.
If you do say yes, I think it would be wise to get your spouse to commit, in writing, to marriage counseling and have it notarized so it's also a legal document. Marriage counseling is not the herald to the end of a relationship, but definitely can be useful in helping with relationship hurdles in the marriage. And when there is a major change in the marriage, counselling can be a great thing.
Very few people have the psychological and emotional resources to successfully navigate an "open" or non-monagamous marriage wherein one or both spouses are able to have relationships with other people while keeping the marriage thriving.
From a practical, safe sex point of view, if you agreed and allowed "that one night", you'd must insist on seeing that 3rd party's lab report (done within the last 30 days) showing they're free of any STDs including HIV) and insist they condoms for your own safety BEFORE they do anything.
I'm not an advocate for open relationships by any means. Monogamy is still the ideal and is the cultural norm throughout the world with few notable exceptions. From a biological viewpoint, monogamy is not hard-wired into our genetics for men or women. Monogamy does two things - it lets the male know that he's the father of his kids and it provides a stable situation for a woman to rear her children. Religious sanctioning of Christian marriage did not come along until the Council of Trent in 1566, for example.
I wish I had better advice for you, but you're going to have to follow your own heart on this. Good luck in making your decision.
2007-12-07 05:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not!! Let me explain this in simple terms, a one night stand will not be fulfilling, it will only open the door to wanting more. As for satisfying your husband sex is an art, taking time to make it better is much more fulfilling. Good art takes time anyone can doodle on a piece of paper. Your husband just wants to doodle and has no idea how good it can get with you. Also, the destruction and pain will get in the way of the great time you can have, I'm sure it already is. Having been married twice, I can tell you the friends of the opposite sex are a dangerous situation. Now going on almost 20 years, my husband is my best friend. He would never admit to being jealous but if a man just sat and talked with me too long he would get angry with me. I doubt your husband would want you to have one night with another man.
2007-12-07 04:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No.....what if he met someone else and created another super bond, when do you draw the line? I think the problem is deeper than that. How could it be one night of passion if they have already created this "bond". Why does he feel the need to sleep with another woman? Is there something he feels you are providing him that he feels he needs to get someplace else? It sounds like he is being selfish and not communicating openly with you.
2007-12-07 04:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick it with a fork, this marriage is on it's way out. You really want to picture that in your head the next hundred times you have sex and wonder if you are as "good" or if your partner is picturing that other person?
2007-12-07 04:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by PandaJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me if she loves you & is happy like she says she is then she would have never got herself in that situation with that other person. My personal opinion is I would not agree to that because it will only open doors to heartache & problems. Unless you can bury bones & not ever dig them up, meaning if you say yes you cant afterwards make a big deal about it. Good luck!
2007-12-07 04:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by hoosiergirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is NO WAY you should allow that to happen! You are happy so why ruin something beautiful? If your spouse keeps bugging you about it, ask him/her to to make a choice. Again, NEVER allow this situation, things will never be the same again.
2007-12-07 05:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by July Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not in this lifetime. Would be receiving two different messages and so they are either happy with our relationship or want to expand the boundaries which wouldn't be cool for this old guy.
2007-12-07 04:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope. He made the commitment to ME. I guess it would depend on your relationship. if its open, loose, or estranged, that to me is not a commited relationship, therefore those people prolly have more lenience toward these kind of things. Im old fashioned, and i say if you want your one night, go ahead and break your promise to me. Just dont expect me here when you get back.
2007-12-07 04:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Backwoods Cutie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELLL NOOO what is wrong with you he is going to cheat on you this is not rigth and I can not beleive he dare ask you this. What the hell is wrong with him well if there is such a bond then tell him to leave you. Unless you like your man cheating on you or do this ask him the same question and see what he does.
2007-12-07 04:43:13 · answer #9 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA! I'm not even sure that I would stay with my husband just for asking me such an insane thing. If you say yes then he has approval to pretty much start dating again. I don't freaking think so...
2007-12-07 04:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by mrskerlin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋