He's 50, I'm 29. He's been living in his living room for the last three years, his partner (girlfriend, whatever) sleeps in the bedroom. He has an 11 year old son. We've been seeing each other for three months. He was honest with his partner about it from the start. We've even met and were cool with each other. She's sad about it, because now she knows he wants to move out. He's sad about it too, however, because, no matter how much he loves me and wants to be with me, he's afraid he can't afford to rent an apartment big enough for his son to have regular overnight visits, pay half the rent on their apartment, and pay to support his son. AND I don't want to live with him right away because I want him to have some space before jumping into a new household or whatever. However, I DO want him to move out because I want more time with him. Right now we have an understanding that we don't spend the night together because it would just cause too much mess at his place. I'm getting frustrated
2007-12-07 04:01:03 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't have a place of my own at the moment because I just moved to this country. I'm subletting until I go home to the US for the holidays, but he can't very well live with me in a sublet and then go back to his place when I move out, you know? And, anyway, I don't want him to have to jump from his home to someone else's--I think he should live alone for a while first for a transitional period and that's what he wants too.
2007-12-07 04:10:35 · update #1
You took a huge gamble when you got involved with someone who was not yet "free" to do so. Now, his issues have become YOUR issues as well. Take back control, and tell him that you will only wait so long for him to clear this mess and in the meantime, will no longer see him. Tough love for both of you - but it will clear up several questions you may have about his intentions with you and his ability to move forward...or not
2007-12-07 04:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation has way too many people involved and you are so young... If he moves out why does he still have to pay half the rent at their apartment and child support??? If he's serious about leaving then he needs to have a plan where either she moves where she can afford her own rent and collect his child support or something like that.. I guess if you really love him, you will work it out, but I personally would try not to involve myself in all these factors.
2007-12-07 04:11:54 · answer #2 · answered by KRISTY BIAN28 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So you are seeing a man who is living with his girlfriend who is sleeping in his living room? Sounds like a soap opera to me. You are frustrated what about the other girl who you are seeing the man she is living with. You think this will work out the way you want it?No way . What makes you think you wont be this girl in three years?Doesn't sound very promising now does it.
2007-12-07 04:09:46 · answer #3 · answered by lollypop 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
than why doesn't he work on getting more money? it takes hard work. maybe he can get a roommate (obviously not you) and live elsewhere that way. it happens all the time. there are alot of ways to do it. people stay in situations like this because its easiest, not because its the best choice.
2007-12-07 04:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by jenisilly80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i take it you don't have a place of your own, well then don't be on his case for not having one he has a couple of good reasons what is your reason for not having a place of your own? This is a perfect example of one side of the story.
2007-12-07 04:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oH BABY, DAJA VU FOR ME...i WAS THERE AND I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SAME SITUATION..
THE OUT COME OF THIS IS...HE HAS AN OBLIGATION TO HIS CHILD AND WIFE...EVEN THOU LIVING ARRAGEMENT IS LIKE THAT YOU OWN DOING...YES WE WANT THEM TO BE THIER OWN PERSON AND WANT BETTER FOR THEM BUT THIER HEART AND SOUL WILL ALWAY BE WITH THE FAMILY AS MUCH AS HE LOVES YOU ..HIS LOVE FOR YOU WILL NOT BE ENOUGH FOR HIM TO LEAVE..UNLESS HE IS STRONG AND WILL TAKE THAT FIRST STEP ...BUT LOOK TO ME...MMM NO IT WILL NOT HAPPENED...
HONEY YOU NEED TO FIND A SINGLE MAN YOUR AGE WITH NO STRING ATTACHED TO HIM FROM SOMEONE ELSE....MAKE YOUR LIFE.....YOU DESIRVE BETTER DONT GET HURT....BEST OF LUCK HONEY
2007-12-07 04:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by shayhi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck are you doing?
Go out and get a real job, get a real place and get a real relationship, and get a real LIFE.
2007-12-07 04:09:29 · answer #7 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
these are the sorts of things life throws at you and you have to deal with. there are decisions to be made and you and he have to make them.
2007-12-07 04:13:08 · answer #8 · answered by fantasy gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What on earth are you getting yourself into??? No man is worth what you will be putting up with. Do you NOT see ALL the red flags??? Please move on ........to someone worthy of YOU!
2007-12-07 04:11:22 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Then find someone who doesn't have all that baggage.
2007-12-07 04:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by harold 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋